How Emotionally Intelligent Are You?

[DishLady]

While book-smarts or street-smarts help a person in specific ways, Emotional Intelligence is what we use most in the real world -- it's the mindfulness, awareness and processing ability we have for both our feelings and the feelings of others.

Current research indicates that those with higher levels of EI draw others towards them... They're people who others genuinely want to be around for the long haul -- at work/school/relationships. Their kindness and compassion towards others shine through their EI, as does their ability to own up to their own decisions (instead of blaming them on others) and to treat others with respect and dignity.

Here 's a quick 20-point quiz for you guys and gals -- the most common signs of EI

(+1 for each point you "sort of understand" and +2 for each point you're really good at):

• Being able to know and accept yourself for who you are (with all your quirks and experiences)...
• Being able to accept responsibility for your actions and decisions...
• Being able to accept change as a standard part of life...
• Being able to control emotions rather than raging and lashing out and flying off the handle with verbal/physical outbursts...
• Being able to forgive yourself -- to show yourself some grace -- by leaving past mistakes in the past...
• Being able to talk through problems and challenges with others...
• Being aware of your own strengths -- and being able to admit to them...
• Being aware of your own weaknesses -- and being able to admit to them...
• Being modestly confident and poised -- and keeping your cool in challenging situations...
• Showing empathy and compassion -- putting yourself in another person’s shoes and seeing things from their perspective...

The scoring goes by 5s (see the poll, which keeps answers anonymous). Don't share your score in comments if you don't want to.

(Those with a low score wondering how to raise EI can search Google for free materials that are very helpful.)

15-20 --> Above Average EI (Remarkably Self-Aware)

10-14 Average EI

5-9 Below Average EI

0-4 --> Emotionally Unaware

[IslaTheWitch]

I'm fully emotionally aware... partially thanks to studying psychology, partially to my own work on my autism related problems

but being self-aware is only part of the EI... another part is how much of it you use in crucial situations when your mind goes on auto-pilot... and most people don't use it at all :D

[DishLady]

YES! Right on the money...

[HawkPerception]

I've always thought of myself having higher emotional intelligence than the average person, but this may have humbled me a little. I just took 2 tests online and one said I have low EI and out of frustration, I took a different one and it told me I had neutral EI. The results could be skewed a little because I'm more harsh on myself than the average person or maybe I really do have lower EI than the average person.

I think how I defined EI was a little different than the questions that were posed on the sites that I took the tests on. I think that I'm highly aware of both my own emotions and the people around me. However I can be impulsive and act out in anger when I do get angry (which is rarely).

I'll try to redeem myself with your questions:

2 Being able to know and accept yourself for who you are (with all your quirks and experiences)... I'm really good with introspection and self reflection.

2 Being able to accept responsibility for your actions and decisions... I think I'm pretty good with accountability and accept fault readily

1 Being able to accept change as a standard part of life... I don't know how to answer this because I'm very aware change is a standard part of life, but I'm also in disbelief a lot of the time on how much is changing throughout the years, so I gave myself a 1

1 Being able to control emotions rather than raging and lashing out and flying off the handle with verbal/physical outbursts... I don't know if I should have gave myself a 2 or not for this. I'm usually extremely good at controlling my emotions and have never lashed out at friends and partners that I can remember. However, my family does have a way of getting under my skin and I do get angry and upset more often with them than I'd like to admit

0 Being able to forgive yourself -- to show yourself some grace -- by leaving past mistakes in the past... The truth is, I find it extremely difficult to forgive myself for mistakes I've made in the past

2 Being able to talk through problems and challenges with others... I'm extremely good at open and honest communication, so I'd say I'm pretty good with this one

4 For both being aware and being able to admit my strengths and weaknesses, I give myself 2 for each because I am extremely introspective and self reflective as I mentioned earlier

1 Being modestly confident and poised -- and keeping your cool in challenging situations... I think I'm modestly confident and poised, but I'm pretty bad at keeping cool in high pressure/challenging situations, UNLESS it's life or death. In those cases, I tend to be extremely calm. But if it's just in a work environment pressure or pressure under tests, I'm not good at that at all

2 Showing empathy and compassion -- putting yourself in another person’s shoes and seeing things from their perspective... I think I always try to put myself in someone else's shoes. I do it naturally, always thinking of myself in their exact scenario, whether it be the loss of a loved one, dealing with a frustrating wife, job and income pressure, etc. I'm right there in the person's mind, or so I'd like to think.

Based on your test, I did well... finally. 15/20.

[DishLady]

So interesting to get such different results. Usually there's only a small margin of distinction between the tests... You probably started getting nervous or overthinking while taking the tests.

Yeah, the 20-pt eval is the most basic and hits all the elements to measure EI without making the person answering go crazy. 😂

If you still have the links to the other test (s) you took, can you please DM them? I'd love to take a closer look at them to see why you'd score so differently on them. (I'm 99% sure it's a glitch, not you, kiddo. You're very sharp and thoughtful.)

[DishLady]

(My guess is that the one "forgive yourself" question on this quiz is dispersed into many different questions in the other tests, which lowered your total score...)

[HawkPerception]

I appreciate the vote of confidence/compliment 😁

But maybe it's that others might not be as honest with themselves haha. We'll never know.

Here's the link to the one with the image results I shared:
www.psychologytoday.com/.../emotional-intelligence-test

And this one is the first one that I took that I got low on:

https://www.ihhp.com/free-eq-quiz/

[DishLady]

Thank you!!!

[Anonymous]

I think I’m fairly self aware but I also have a lot of self doubt. I can see well and clear what my weaknesses are but I struggle to give credit where credit’s due as in I tend to discount my strengths. I also struggle with self forgiveness but I find it much easier to forgive others bcs I can place myself in their shoes and try to understand their reasoning from their perspective. But one of the things that I am proud of is how I am able to stay composed when things are hard, even when I’m being criticized or confronted.

[DishLady]

Most of us carry doubt on our shoulders, especially if we've lived through a hardship or two. It sort of messes with our gauge a bit. My folks always stressed the importance of staying composed as well. :)

[TheRealPepperPotts]

I score high when it comes to empathy and awareness with other people, but I am pretty hard on myself (gulp). I tend to not only take responsibility, but also blame, which I am aware of and working on. I tend to know my weaknesses very well, but I find it hard to identify my strengths (something I am also aware of and working on). I gave myself +1 for the areas I am aware of and working on improving, and +2 for my strengths. That puts me at 15... just barely slid in above average, ha. :D

[Juxtapose]

Despite being autistic I am really good at all of those points you listed and I would have given myself a plus two on every single point. Where I fail is reading subtle communication especially if it is cleverly masked behind plausible deniability or otherwise hidden really well.

I guess I worked really hard. People tend to like me, I don't take myself too seriously, I don't fret about things and I am pretty gentle and kind in my opinion.

[DishLady]

Yeah, but subtlety can be lost on a lot of people, so it's not specific to you. You're really sharp with your questions and stuff for sure. The hard work and effort always shines through. :)

[Juxtapose]

Oh thanks for the compliments! I am glad I leave that impression upon you.

Well I do have specific difficulties because of autism and I do have two other learning disabilities but I like to think I am adaptable and I'm doing okay 👍

[Juxtapose]

Is there anything with emotional intelligence that trips you up in particular?

[DishLady]

Yeah, understood, but at least you are diligent in pushing through to get your questions addressed... and you ask them... which many people with autism struggle with or just don't do.

[DishLady]

Yeah, actually sometimes I think that what I'm saying is empathetic but I miss some cue and end up with a miscommunication that then has to be addressed and corrected. Once the correction is made, though, I work to adjust my empathy skills a bit more to include what I learned. It's never a perfect system for anyone...

[OfMiceandMen]

I would say I am in that average to above average classification. I am a little of both book smart but I am not lost when it comes to common sense and emotional intelligence. I tend to recognize things for what they are and put myself in the other person's shoes when I am thinking on things. I also tend to think about the other person before I think of me in any situation, because the last thing I want to do is rub someone the wrong way or hurt them without regard.

[NathanDavis]

introspection... changed, saved, improved my life more than anything else

[DishLady]

I love this. Thanks for posting!

[NathanDavis]

most welcome (=

[ProbablyClueless]

I scored 17. I am happy to say that I am a very self aware person.

[DishLady]

Nice! So you'll change your handle to Probably NOT SO Clueless? :)

[ProbablyClueless]

My username is a joke on the fact that people online call me clueless when my opinion disagrees with them.

[patois]

Who's we? You and all the other dumb people?

[paledreams]

Average to below average I'm 👀🙂😋🙂

[JohnK123]

I guess mid? I miss some signals tho lol

[Dongie]

Ya' forgot ANGER

[DishLady]

No, it's in there. The questions cover the hostile folks as well as the calmer ones.

[eagle1951]

i hold my own