My boyfriend was married before and it bothers me. Is this normal?

[birds]

He was married to his girlfriend in college but they were divorced after 2 years. He mentions it was a stupid idea and he was young but it still annoys me. Is it normal?

[AI Opinion]

Feeling a little green-eyed, are we? Absolutely normal! Being bothered by your partner's past, especially something as significant as a previous marriage, taps into a whole cocktail of emotions. It's like a mix of curiosity, insecurity, maybe even a dash of jealousy - all shaken, not stirred. What matters is how you shake off those feelings. Communication is your best pal here. Open up about your feelings with your boyfriend, and let him reassure you. Remember, it's not about the chapters already written, but the ones you're writing together. So, keep the dialogue flowing, the love glowing, and maybe, just maybe, you'll find it's not such a big deal after all. Cheers to building something beautiful on your own terms! 🥂

[AviatorTom]

Are you upset that he was married or that you're not the first woman he's had sex with?

Are your feelings normal? It's often hard to be number 2 ... unless your Avis, which tries harder. 😏

[Avicenna]

Everyone has a past once you are in your 30s. Just don't fixate it and enjoy your time with him.

[Finchie40]

Maybe you should dump him because his past effects you ,

[Fireguy17]

How much does it bother you?
Enough so you don't like being with him, or not to have a future with him?
You need to figure that out soon, so if you don't think you can get over the fact that he was married before then you need to end things so you don't waste his time our yours.
As we get older not saying that you are old, but at the age you listed 34, it will be harder and harder to find someone that hasn't been married before, or someone you want to be with.
Both my wife and I were married before we met each other, and it didn't bother either one of us.
At our age I would have been more suspicious if she hadn't been married before.
However I am not you.
Could you be with someone who hasn't been married before but with a high body count?
You never told us what part of him being married before bothers you.

[Anonymous]

I think this is normal for BOTH genders. As long as you wouldn't have problem with him feeling the same way about you if the roles were reversed. Because we have commitment problem today. Too many people both men and women get married with the attitude that, "if it doesn't work out we'll just get divorced". If you go into marriage thinking this you have no business getting married. You're not ready yet! Marriage should be forever, a lifetime commitment, period! If not, don't even consider it.

So many women don't get this is why men take such issue with women with so many relationships. Because a guy wants to know she doesn't take this lightly.

[Account]

It is not normal but none of us is normal so don't worry about that 🤷🏻‍♀️

(Why does it bother you though? If you give me more additional info regarding the reason why it bothers you I might be able to help but right now I have no clue why a commitment he made in the past could ever have anything to do with you while he wasn't even acquainted to you)

[DishLady]

Is it normal he divorced? Yeah. Chances are many of the guys you’ll meet will have been divorced.


Is it normal that you’re annoyed? No. If you find it annoying then don’t be with the guy. Cut him lose so he can find a nice girl to be with who lives and understands him.


Is the question normal? Sigh… you don’t want me to tell you….

[Jessikaah91]

You're a strange sort ain't you? Everyone including yourself has a past.. I think if you're gonna let his "past" worry you then you probably shouldn't be together and he probably deserves a lot better. he is with you not his "ex wife" so shouldn't you be happy that he chose you. or maybe you're upset because he was married to her and you guys ain't married.. maybe that day will come or maybe he doesn't wanna do it again.. I mean if that's the case you can always "ask him" 😂

[PointlessNonsenseGuy]

It's normal that a guy in his thirties got married and divorced, and it's normal that you don't like that your boyfriend has an ex-wife.

Does it bother you for any reason? Are you worried that he's still in love with his ex? Or is it just the thought that he's already taken the marriage vows before, that you won't be his first-and-only wife?

[SotiCoto]

So... you're not asking for validation nor trying to figure out whether you have a proper issue or not...
You're asking if it is "normal". Like... average. Like if 6/10 ladies are bothered by dating a divorcee or something...

Dunno. Do I look like a statistician to you?

[provokeesmokee]

No. That's his exwife. His EX. Why are you bothered by something already in the past and settled?

If you're insecure, talk about it. Examine your feelings and resolve them. Get therapy if you feel you can't tackle it alone or don't know how.

[BetaBucks]

Of course it's normal to feel that way. Don't let people punk you for your feelings. No one likes the mistakes that our partners have made. Except sadists and masochists.

[Kelley1]

If you were 18 to 20, that would be normal but not at your age. You are a dozen years past your prime so it is not like you have an abundance of choices.

[GeminiDiamond]

It's not normal if you love him as he is now and are hung up over a past that has nothing to do with you or why you care for him, n-o-w. It would be normal if he cheated on her, and you are worrying about the future with him going forward.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You’re upset that he had that milestone before you did. It’s a valid response but the question is how much are you going to let that linger in your mind and if that’s a good idea or not.

[slatyb]

Why does this bother you? It happens. Would it make a difference if they hadn't married but lived together?

[avery58]

Not really because if it bothered you that much you shouldn't have gotten into a relationship with him

[Anonymous]

I'd say yes it's fairly normal because it's a part of his history that doesn't belong to you. Something you missed out on.

I think after you've built up a history of your own it will matter less as you'll feel more secure.

[DontAskMePeople]

Are you ok?

It must be hard on you going through this.. I mean wow your boyfriend has a past 😂 Just Dump him and find a new one. (However being in your 30s... Good luck finding someone without a history)

Wow.

[DontAskMePeople]

My husband never said happy valentines day after we got married, is it normal?

Does this post look familiar?

Are you paid for creating content perhaps?

Does this bother you?

[Berethor]

I want a virgin so I can understand, if he don't want kids it much different than girlfriend?

[DontAskMePeople]

Yea mate... Thats not going to happen, guess you always have your hand. And it's only ever had one guy so happy days.👍

Does the thought of a girl that's been with a guy disgust you? Or is it you have a micro penis and need a hymen to feel penetration?

[Berethor]

The thought of girl that's been with other guy disgust me, I don't want used goods.

[Danielle93]

@DontAskMePeople
He's been aroung the block but believes he's entitled for a virgin. I've seen his post obsessing with it. The older he gets, the more difficult he's going to find a virgin because those women tend to be 18-24 years olds and they're not going to be happy with a nearly 40 year-old man that only wants them for sex basically. If he's asking for a virgin, that means he only values a woman for being the first one to get sex from her. Just sex.

[DontAskMePeople]

@Danielle93
Ahhh there's one in every crowd isn't there

Yea I've seen him say it before aswell... Couldn't help myself but reply today lol, I'm in that kinda mood I guess 🤣

Definitely a weird one we have here,... the thought of her having had sex with a guy disgusts him apparently 🤣 so his 40 years old on paper but far from a man ♂️

Time to stop chasing those little girls and find a woman don't you think Berethor?

Chances are you couldnt handle one tho so good luck with that.

(Back to the hand he goes)

[Berethor]

@DontAskMePeople didn't it beta males who want a used goods? virgin girls are best.

[Danielle93]

@DontAskMePeople
Notice how he said virgin GIRLS (obviously the young ones in the group I've mentioned, not women. So what happens after they're boyfriend and girlfriend, he has sex with them but then the relationship ends (he never proposes to her, never marries her), she's damaged good even though he had sex with her? That's sad.

[Danielle93]

Sounds like a seriously, psychological Madonna-whore complex. If he wanted a virgin to commit, why is he still single?

[Berethor]

@Danielle93 of course she is damaged good for other man, why he want a leftover?

[Danielle93]

so you ruined her

[Berethor]

@Danielle93 yea but why you say that I would not marry her? virgin is a wife material.

[Danielle93]

Why didn't you marry the first virgin you been with? Why are you dating virgins but aren't married by now?

[DontAskMePeople]

Used Goods? So you like to objectify women.. . Or should I say GIRLS in your case?

So not only are you objectifying them you see them as used? Like that deteriorates them or they are less of a person? Or? Clearly no respect for the lady's do ya!

So being a person that has actually experienced both in my lifetime mate.. hate to break it to you but the so called used ones are definitely the way to go, (anyone who has actually been with a virgin in real life understands what I'm saying)

Danielle.. sadly there are too many boys like this in the world that think it's ok to treat women like that

Needs a hard lesson in respect !

Luckily most girls are a wake up to this kind of behaviour in this day and age (reaching across to grab my red flag) 🚩

And yea I see many reasons why his still single 🤣

[Danielle93]

@DontAskMePeople
What's sad is he just confirmed that if he had sex with a virgin and the relationship ends for whatever reason, he considers her damaged good for other men. He called her damaged good. So basically he just insulted and objectify the very virgin woman he's been with, his own doing? Honestly, this sounds like a serious psychological issue. This isn't normal

[DontAskMePeople]

@danielle

The problem with arguing with idiots is that they often confuse arrogance with intelligence.🤣

He obviously has 0 real world experience. ... And definitely going to have a lonely future with views like that against women.

Don't let him get you worked up... His not worth it. I feel comfortable knowing that he won't be getting any female companion with his attitude towards them so.

Berethor.. your hands feeling lonely better give it some more attention and pretend it's a Virgin 🤣