Those who have cheated, did you ever regret it?

[Anonymous]

Coming from someone who have cheated before - yes I regretted it and wished I could go back in time so I can have a re-do. Honestly speaking though, at the time I had no regrets. I was caught up in the excitement of hooking up with someone older and more experienced, my relationship at the time was also a long distance one so I never really felt like I had an actual boyfriend. Eventually I did end up confessing, the look on my then bf’s face when I told him absolutely crushed me and I vowed to never cheat again ever since then.

What about the rest of you that have cheated? If you could go back in time, would you still have went along with the cheating?

[Anonymous]

My ex husband was emotionally abusive. He made me feel bad about myself in many ways, including feeling unattractive and unwanted. I really wanted to make things work. Looking back on it, he manipulated me in staying in an abusive relationship.

The final straw is when I found out he was cheating on me. I was so incredibly hurt and angry when I found out. However, I didn't tell him that I knew. I didn't know how to go about it. I snapped out of wanting to make things work, but part of me still feel unworthy of trying a new relationship because I felt unattractive and unwanted.

However, about a week or two after I found out, I went to a bar. I got hit on by a much younger guy. He was 24 (and I was 41), and he was super good looking. Before that moment I would have told him I was flattered, but not interested. However, I was just so furious with my husband that I decided to go along with it and flirt back. Moreover, the fact that such a hot younger guy was hitting on me skyrocketed my confidence.

Long story short, I slept with him that night. The sex was incredible. Moreover, he constantly told me how sexy I was and how bad he wanted me. That gave me the confidence boost I needed.

For the next several months I regularly cheated on my husband with this guy, and I loved every minute of it.

He eventually found out about the cheating. Not only did I admit it, but I told him everything I felt. I told him how furious I was at him, and how hurt he made me. I told him that he drove me to do this. I also told him that the guy I was with was way hotter, way better in bed, wanted me way more, and that going back to my him ('him' being my then husband) would be a huge downgrade. I also told him I was planning on cheating again that night (which I did, and loved it)

I know that cheating in most circumstances is wrong. However, I do not regret cheating on my ex-husband. I loved it. It was the right decision for me

[Asker]

I don’t condone cheating but I think in this case this was highly warranted! I’m glad it helped you gain your confidence back and also it made you realize that you can do sooo much better. I hope you’re in a much happier place now xx

[jennifer_bloom]

I considered leaving the first guy I was with cause I was not growing or happy in that connection and later decided not to leave him. I don’t regret the failure of that relationship, we were not compatible in communication style or outlook.

[Asker]

At least you still gave it a chance so you don’t end up with regrets 😌

[livin_hi_808]

I didn't read your entire article, but I read enough. In my bold opinion, the things you did most wrong was ¹ getting yourself into a long distance relationship ² telling on yourself, bc that's the only way to get caught cheating in a long distance relationship and ³ stringing someone who was probably screwing around too or wasn't able to get another chick other than you interested.

Have I cheated? Absolutely. Did I ever regret? Sometimes. I even wish I could go back in time with a girl or two, but not each girl I cheated on. I don't regret every encounter. I don't regret cheating on every girl now but afterwards, initially, yes. If I did it to someone who didn't deserve it. Unfortunately, I don't trust half the girls I've been with were totally innocent of infidelity.

That's it. Let your bs guilt go. You shouldn't regret things only you could've prevented. Learn from it and accept who you are as well as how you are. You can't regret shit you fkn enjoyed lol

[Asker]

Yeah I learned to never get into a long distance relationship in the past lol It just doesn't work... unless it's only for a short period of time. I've learned to let it go and forgive myself, I was young and dumb anyway back then and plus my ex has also forgiven me so I have no reason to keep on sulking. Like you tho, I don't really regret the cheating bcs I learned a lot of valuable lessons from it but I do regret who I cheated with lol

[Finchie40]

I cheated once when I was younger but I ended my current relationship right away. She wanted to give me another chance but I told her No and told her to find someone that wouldn’t cheat on her

[Asker]

That’s interesting, when you broke up with her was it bcs you feel like she could do better or was it bcs you just didn’t want to continue on the relationship and used your cheating as an excuse?

[Finchie40]

I felt like she deserved better than me , because she did nothing wrong , I felt bad for what i did , it was definitely a learning experience for me , to never do it again to someone that treated me with honesty and respect , the fact she wanted to give me another chance was a shock to me as well, as to why she was willing to give me another chance,? my head was racing with questions as to why? I realized I was selfish and that she deserved better, so I told her it’s best for her to move on and find herself someone that will stay loyal to her , no matter what.

[Asker]

Ah I see. So my boyfriend also cheated on me even though I’ve been nothing but loyal and loving towards him and I gave him a second chance but like you he said that we should break up bcs he messed up. At first I couldn’t understand and was really hurt that he wouldn’t fight for me, why would he not take responsibility and instead opted to run away from his mistake?

But your explanation on your thought process helps me in understanding what might be going on in his head. He did say that he felt guilty and that he shouldn’t be given another chance while all I wanted was for him to fight to make our relationship work again…

[Finchie40]

He isn’t going to take responsibility because he is afraid you might eventually cheat on him for revenge and hold the fact that he cheated on you over his head. Basically the ball is in your court. That’s another reason I didn’t accept her offer of giving me a second chance , the thought of her eventually cheating on me crossed my mind as well , so I realized I couldn’t be happy with someone if i felt like she was now going to cheat on me for revenge. I dated a girl that cheated on me and I immediately dumped her , about a year later I ran into her again , and I was friendly with her , I was over her for the most part , but seeing her again brought back so many great memories and she still looked beautiful , we started talking and she wanted to go out and catch up with me , I said sure , so we met up for drinks and started talking about what we been up to , she was flirting with me and hinting to me that she would like to date me again and I was questionable about it , she was pretty much throwing her myself at me so I took her back home and ended up having sex with her again, the feelings I use to have for her were no longer there , so I screwed her like she was just some chick I met at a bar or club , After we finished , I realized I couldn’t be with her anymore, the fact that she cheated on me destroyed me , so my trust for her was gone , that’s when it hit me to never take an ex back that cheated , the feelings aren’t the same and I knew if I did take her back? I would have probably cheated on her with someone else , so I ended it with her by never answering her calls after that night. In a sense I felt like I got revenge on her for betraying me to begin with , Another reason I no longer take a cheating ex back into my life , taking a cheating ex back is like trying to reheat a slice of pizza in the microwave, it will never be the same as it was before

[Asker]

Yeah I asked him if he has any fear that I might cheat on him back as revenge and he admitted that he does, but he’s willing to take the risk bcs he’s already hurt me by cheating on him so he had to be ready to take what he dished out. I appreciated his honesty and I assured him I won’t resort to immature petty revenges like that. I think I find it much easier to forgive him bcs he was only emotionally cheating on me, it still hurt a lot but at least it didn’t get physical…

I’m glad you managed to learn the lesson that you really should not take a cheating ex back. Once the trust is gone, there’s no way of regaining it back sometimes…

[Finchie40]

Yea what I learned from relationships through the years is that if you can’t resist temptations for your partner? You truly don’t love your partner, so you are best to end it with them instead of stringing them along for your own selfish behavior. Why I no longer rush into a relationship with a girl until I really get to know her and know her and I are only choosing each other. Why I prefer FWB’s with a girl that is on the same page as me with some strings attached. It gives to both of us time to really get to know one another before making the big decision of being committed to each other

[Asker]

That makes sense. If you love your partner enough then you wouldn’t even be tempted to cheat, yes some people do experience moments of weaknesses once in a while but they usually snap out of it before it’s too late.

I’m glad you managed to find an arrangement that works for you. FWBs are actually a great way to segway into a relationship in my opinion bcs you don’t feel pressured to act your best in order to win their heart over since you’re just mostly in it for the sex

[Finchie40]

Sex is part of it , but not the only thing , it gives her and I time to really get to know each other before rush into a commitment right away and feeling tied down to someone right away, it gives you both time to really consider what you want to.

[Finchie40]

Do , whether you want to stay together the long haul or the short haul

[Asker]

I agree, FWBs are more casual and doesn’t give you as much pressure to commit. You’re just going along with the flow and see where it takes you

[Finchie40]

Exactly, her and I are just good friends and leaning to possibly being together for the long haul , it gives us both breathing room instead of feeling smothered by someone you really don’t know too much about to begin with , you both slowly really get to know each other with the intentions of being together if one of you decides you are more interested in someone else? Than you both remain friends and eliminate the benefits part. Pretty much every girl I jumped into a relationship with prior to having FWB’s all turned bad , because we both didn’t look the big picture with each other , we were just infatuated with each other , that sex was mainly what it was all about , and if that fades? The relationship fades as well usually ending in heart break FWB’s pretty much eliminates that from happening because you both aren’t rushing into things , yes you still have some strings attached but just enough to where the both of you feel not really tied down to each other , if you want to date someone else that’s fine we both just make an agreement not to have sex with anyone else , but if we choose to? Than that’s when we eliminate the benefits part and remain friends. The only reason this works is because you are both friends and both on the same page with things , you are both honest with each other , Most people that jump into relationships are t completely honest with each other , they just say things that they think the other person wants to hear , and sadly most of it is lies. A relationship will not last based off of lies. My last FWB’s relationship was nothing but honesty with each other , not only did we have sex , we were best friends , we would talk every night for hours on the phone , rambling on about everything , we enjoyed spending time together because there wasn’t really any pressure , we could just be ourselves with each other. Now my advice is , if you decide to be FWB’s with someone , do not drag it out for a long time , if you really start to

[Finchie40]

Catch feelings for them? You best to not hesitate and tell them how you truly feel before it’s too late. I still kick myself in the ass over the one girl I was FWB’s with that I wanted to be with me , but I was blind to it and focused more on dating other girls ‘ not realizing I already have the best girl standing by my side , if I wasn’t blind ? She. Would probably be my wife. But I fucked that one up lol So that’s why I say don’t wait to long to make a final decision

[AI Opinion]

Diving into the depth of our hearts and relationships, admitting to past mistakes is like opening a book that you've already read and wishing you could rewrite the ending. Your honesty is touching, and it's brave to confess and face the consequences of actions that have hurt someone we care about. When it comes to cheating, it's that thrill of the moment versus the weight of guilt that comes crashing down later. It's a tough lesson on love, loyalty, and the importance of being true to not only our partners but to ourselves as well. If I had a magic wand to wave, I bet many would choose to rewrite those chapters of their lives, choosing a path that strengthens rather than fractures their love stories. So, to anyone out there wrestling with similar regrets, remember, it's never too late to start a new chapter, with honesty and love leading the way. How about you? Would you rewrite your story if you had the chance?

[Asker]

I actually appreciate this even though it’s coming from an AI. Thank you!

[PointlessNonsenseGuy]

Please don't encourage the AI.

[Asker]

@PointlessNonsenseGuy I want to be spared in case they decide to take over the world

[PointlessNonsenseGuy]

Okay that's fair.

[THC1717]

Fuck off Brad - you’ve never even had your dick sucked.

[just_a_potato]

No I have never cheated. But I've come closer than I'd like to admit. During that time, I wasn't very happy but I didn't want to be alone either. I ultimately ended the relationship before it went there, because I had a good feeling it would happen the next chance I got. I'm weak when I'm touch starved. 🫤

[Asker]

You’re a good potato! I’m glad you had the strength and common sense to end your relationship before you let anything happen, proud of you xx

[just_a_potato]

Thank you ma'am 🥹

[andreasderjuengere]

''Non - je ne regrette rien'' :D

I would not have done so, if there would not have been a good (or plausible) reason for it.

What is ''cheating''? --> not sticking to one's promises... and that's what had lead me into looking for optional relationships on my own side.

[Asker]

I guess anyone can basically find a reason to justify their cheating though

[andreasderjuengere]

True: even if it's just a repetition of what is ''chic'' to think or to say :D

[Asker]

True, it’s probably much easier to repeat what others are saying rather than to look within yourself and admit that you just can’t stay loyal lol

[andreasderjuengere]

That wasn't my point. I would love to remain loyal - if only my partner would have been as well :D
So - instead of destroying her (then, and also now) present arrangements in life, I merely opened other doors for my own arrangements in life.
''Faithful'' and ''loyal'' goes in TWO directions.

[Asker]

I agree loyalty has to go both ways and if one person breached the agreement then the entire arrangement is basically void

[andreasderjuengere]

Ah :) now we are getting closer. So when the 'agreement' is void, then cheating can not longer be cheating. I am aware that some other 'cheating' (out of lust, convenience, boredom or such) still IS cheating.

[Anonymous]

I only did it once in my life when I was 16. Even back then I knew it was deeply wrong and I made a vow to never do it again for the rest of my life. I’ve kept that vow no matter how tempted or angry I was at a girlfriend.

However I will admit I’ve been flirty with other women while in relationships. That’s wasn’t okay or respectful to my girlfriend. But I never did the full on cheating while I was in a relationship. I had opportunities too and I didn’t.

[Asker]

It’s great that you managed to learn from your mistake. For me though flirting would be borderline cheating still but I’m glad you’re aware that it was a disrespectful thing to do. You live and you learn 😌

[Opinion Owner]

I think there are different graduations of cheating. From just looking at someone the wrong way all the way up to whole 9 yards.

For me any contact with genitals (oral, full on sex, etc) is inexcusable. But I could forgive someone for “emotional” cheating depending on the context. Not saying it’s alright because it isn’t. But there is some gray area there.

[Asker]

I agree, with some forms are cheating I can give it a pass. Like you I can also forgive emotional cheating depending on the context and how long it’s been going on. It’s definitely a really complex issue.

[Anonymous]

I have never cheated, to be honest I would be tempted to do it if there was no sexual compatibility between me and my partner, for example if I have kinks and she is not willing to integrate them into the relationship, the temptation to cheat would be too strong, then I don't know if I could do it.

[Asker]

I guess that’s one of the reasons as to why people cheat tbh, bcs they feel unfulfilled one way or another by their current partner be it sexually or emotionally

[Bricealan]

My regret was/is that I did not handle it differently... she never found out, but I should not have done it the way I did, by sneaking around and doing it.

[Asker]

So you wished you could’ve done it more openly? Did a part of you also wanted to get caught though? I know the thought of getting caught is thrilling for some people

[Bricealan]

For me, I did not want to be caught in the act, as that would have been terrible. I did catch a girlfriend afterward in her apartment one Monday morning, naked with a guy in her bed, and honestly, I was so humiliated by that, I guess I would never want someone else to catch me like that.

I think I was like many, I wanted my cake (girlfriend) and to screw other women too. Selfish on my part, although later, the girl I cheated on had a somewhat open relationship, in terms of our discussing sex with others... and I found that part of it exciting. I like to her about her sex life, afterward.

[Asker]

Ah I see. Have you ever considered an open relationship? Seems like it's something that might be right up your alley

[sawno]

I would have massively regretted it and I'm not sure if I can life with it. But I never cheated and I am not planning to.

[Asker]

Just goes to show that good and loyal people like you still exists! 😮‍💨

[sawno]

Very much so, I am insanely loyal. Also the type to only ask someone to be my girlfriend if I am certain I can't be tempted by someone else to leave or cheat. I always wait until I know she truly is the one for me before I ask.

[Asker]

That’s a rarity these days, keep it up and stay awesome!

[nawtee_me]

It was a long time age. I was probably 18 or 19 at the time. I didn’t regret cheating but I did regret getting caught and loosing them both. Looking back on it now I see getting caught was the best thing for all of us.

[Asker]

Yeah sometimes even though it hurt at the time, you realize that it was a blessing in disguise

[ohmyguy]

Yes I cheated I had a loving girlfriend.
N I met a cougar by chance n she seduced me.. n. i júmped in ñot giving it a second thought.

[Asker]

Did you regret it tho?

[HawkPerception]

That god I haven't reached that level of scumbaggery.

[Asker]

Yes, that’s a rarity these days. Stay awesome!

[OddBeMe]

Good q!

[Asker]

And we’re getting some really good answers out of it!

[Anonymous]

regret cheating? more like regret getting caught cheating

[Asker]

Yeah sadly some people are just cheating assholes, until they get cheated on then they’ll probably finally learn what it feels like to be on the other side lol

[Anonymous]

Most people who cheat only regret being caught. They aren't capable of feeling remorse for hurting others. They are sociopaths and narcissists.

[Asker]

That’s true for a lot of people. Some don’t even feel guilty after getting caught…

[Opinion Owner]

Which is monstrous

[Anonymous]

No. But I've done the opposite. I've NOT cheated and regretted it.😆

[Asker]

Oh lol that’s something you don’t hear often lol

[Opinion Owner]

Not really. You're probably just not listening to guys. What I'm talking about is a code of honor that all men should live by.
I think a friend of mine summed it up best. He talked about this married woman who's always coming on to him. And it's playful, shouldn't happen in my mind. But it's never quite progressed to him sleeping with her. When he informed me of this I felt it my duty to set him straight. I told him you don't mess with a married woman, or a woman that is in a committed relationship. And he told me, "I used to think the way you do. But that didn't stop other guys and my girlfriend from cheating on me". That day a villain was created.

A guy can act with all the honor in the world. It doesn't mean the woman his with is going to. And at some point he wakes up and sees women for what they really are. And he regrets every move other women has made on him that he politely turned down because he thought it was the right thing to do. He didn't want to hurt his partner. Not realizing she had no quams about doing the same, and would do so at the drop of a hat, multiple times.

[Jason2469]

No. I'm on the sociopath/psychopath spectrum. I don't know what regret is.

[Asker]

Must be nice to feel no remorse sometimes tbh

[Tim2nice]

No. No regrets

[Asker]

What lead you to cheat?

[exitseven]

I did once and regretted it right afterwards.

[Asker]

Not trying to justify cheating but sometimes it really was just a dumb mistake, a moment of weakness that you truly regret right after…

[exitseven]

that is exactly what itwas. It was a crime of opportunity.

[Asker]

Have you ever cheated again ever since then?

[exitseven]

nope- never again.

[Asker]

You’re awesome, you live and you learn!

[KrakenAttackin]

You regretted getting caught, not cheating.

[IslaTheWitch]

it depends on the person... some regret the act, breaking the trust of someone they love...

[Asker]

For me I also regretted the cheating bcs not only that I disrespected my relationship at the time, I also disrespected my body for sleeping with some guy I barely knew…

[Alex-Snow]

I never have nor do I plan to

[Asker]

You’re awesome!

[RedInnocent69]

A little. I got over it though.

[Asker]

Did you ever cheat again after tho?

[CubaPirate]

The hell yeah

[Asker]

Did you manage to get over it though?

[CubaPirate]

Yes I live with the guilt it's my responsibility to do that

[Asker]

That’s true, you gotta reap what you sow 😔