I think a relationship becomes all about the girlfriend/wife.
I'm not saying they wouldn't care if you died very painfully in a horrible accident but on lesser things they can be quite indifferent.
One of the resources women want from men is their time and a man focusing on his issues is a man withdrawing the resource of his time/attention from the woman which they might resent.
I was doing fly in/fly out work in another capital city for a year and finally got work in my capital which was great because with fly in fly out all you do is work/eat/sleep/fly and recover for the next week.
On the second day in the new job we were all told the work is being off-shored. Great the new job has evaporated in only 2 days. I had been hired to be sacked. I was quite unhappy and distressed at this as jobs in my field don't come up all that often.
On the way home I was looking unhappy enough, at the tram stop, for a stranger girl to approach me and ask "What's wrong?". "My job is being off-shored" I replied. Getting a little acknowledgement & sympathy from a stranger did mean something.
When I got home I told my girlfriend the same. She responded with stuff about her day. I thought she hadn't heard me so I repeated. I got a grunt in reply. I thought my news merited a little more so I repeated more loudly. This time I got a sentence. "Well you're a contractor so you have to expect that".
So yeah. A complete stranger can care about you more than a girlfriend/wife.
“Care” manifests itself differently in the minds and hearts of different people and what many women offer their man as signs of caring is often misunderstood or simply missed by the guy. (We do the same thing when our guy does something that seems odd to us but caring to them.)
With some guys, there’s certainly some level of anxiety or paranoia about sharing feelings and details — perhaps a lack of trust based on past experience with women, perhaps a sense of wariness that their partner will use the details as “ammo” in an argument. 🤷🏻♀️ It leads to lack of reciprocity and ultimately major doubts that the relationship can flourish. (After all, in its ideal form a good relationship should be about two hearts and souls soaring through a lifetime together in a bond of trust… A good physical chemistry’s important too. 😉.)
With this in mind, if you approach your partner with honest and open communication and a genuine intention to build a trusting relationship, he should ultimately be able to settle into it (receiving as well as offering caring and tenderness), but the journey to that point might be a bit rough-and-tumble for a while.
As the woman you generally need patience, understanding and a good sense of humor to help your ease into the prospect of caring and being vulnerable for you. (For the more hard-as-nails guys, a girl needs nerves of steel and a strong stomach so as not to get affected by the guy’s propensity for “flash fire” arguments. 🫣)
That's just men projecting because statistics and anectodatal evidence shows time and time again that men are more likely to abandon women when their health takes a turn for the worse or any other issue that lessens the amount of domestic service they can derive from women.
I go into relationships expecting to be the one that has to be strong and give more while also receiving significantly less. I personally believe that since women are given a lot more validation than men are, they don't understand how men feel at all and they don't know what it's like to be us. Then they are taught we men are vicious predators so they have all the more reason not to give a shit about us or empathize with us.
Why would they value the relationship? Women can throw the man away and get a new guy within a week if he shows weakness or gives her the "ick." She doesn't have to deal with the guys that talk about their feelings or want support when she can get some muscle bound dude with money who is so hardened by the street life he's going to take her on an emotional roller coaster and give her a big high.
I think the last thing most women want is a genuine guy who is soft-spoken, open about his feelings and prioritizes her above himself. They view that as a weakness.
And if you take exception to this because you are an exception? Good for you. I wasn't talking about you.
Diving right into the deep end, aren't we? Love is all about opening those floodgates of vulnerability and letting your true self shine through. It's a myth as old as time itself - this idea that showing a softer side will have a partner heading for the hills. But here's the inside scoop from someone who's seen it all: most partners who truly care about you are waiting, almost longing, to connect on that deeper, more real level. It's not about whether men *believe* their significant others don't care; it's more about overcoming those societal hurdles that whisper, "Keep it all locked up, buddy." When you find that special someone who sticks around for both the laughs and the tears, you've hit the relationship jackpot. So, here's to finding and being that caring partner who not only listens but truly hears. 🍀
Opinion
32Opinion
Women are built to want men who are strong emotionally and can't break easily by stuff, which is good. But at the same time a man is still a human being with weaknesses, and won't always be able to handle everything.
So even when a man does break, a lot of women can't deal with it and either hate him for it or feel like he's being a baby. This is also because women are more selfish emotionally by nature and want to be the ones to break down and be cared about, not wanting to have to do it for a man who should be tough.
Ironically though, you have a ton of messed up women who will baby and support guys who have no real care or love for them.
You are talking about men in general, some men do believe women don’t care about them. I’m not one of those men. A female aide said to me, “Stop crying, boys don’t cry!” which made me cry more then there was this female teacher who believed all boys are dumber than girls even though the girls were more behind than the boys in this particular class of ours…. I don’t let them get to me because the friends that I love are women and I have a great girlfriend so, clearly those pieces of crap who don’t care about men aren’t the majority, Let’s just respect one another beyond gender, race, religion and base it on each of our individual character.
Did you ever see the Terminator movies? A woman is like the Terminator robot. Some of them are like the T-800 that came to cherish & value humanity. Others are like the robots that have 1 mission and everything else in life is expendable.
A man can also be like this but the key thing is that men like to understand & tinker with something fascinating like the T-800 or T-1000. Women (the vast majority) do not. So a man comes to understand how Terminator programming works and she does not care and claims it's nonsense.
By the way, a traditional masculine dude does NOT CARE if you really care or not. He does require loyalty. His existence, life goals and such is not dependent on you caring.
From my experience, and I've worked in male dominated fields my entire life, I've had quite a few men say things like this, that their spouse views them as just a paycheck for example. It's hard to say a percentage, but but I would guess somewhere around 40%. It's not something I think they like to admit.
The other part of this is understanding:
*Women are valued for who they ARE
*Men are valued for what the DO
*Women's value (beauty fertility) early in life is at maximum, but will fade.
*Men's value early in life is zero, but can grow.
So yes it does feel very transactional for men. Guys understand at an early age that most elements of female attraction involve what service can you provide, but the truth is most guys are cool with that.
Logically you have to know all men don't think the same so then the answer is automatically no not all men. I'm sure you do but your question isn't really specific. That said, of course some do. They're probably just bitter about a few past relationships and then psychologically they need to blame every woman instead of the one or few or even themselves for what might have transpired to make them feel this way.
I think a better question is if you're a man, that feels that women don't care about them at all, tell me why?
I like your questions and I want to give you an honest answer but sometimes honesty makes people angry.
I think most women care about thier view of what a relationship is more than most men's view. And everything she does is towards that end. And if that just happens to make a man happy fabulous. But if it doesn't she feels he needs to just get with the program. Because she's doing what's best for both of them. But that's the problem. She decided she knows what she wants, but she's also decided she knows what he wants. That's not caring about someone. That's controlling someone.
Hope this doesn't offend you.
Most well adjusted men don't think that way and for good reason.
But then again most well adjusted men don't crawl the internet whining and complaining and perpetuating a non existing stereotype.
The few who do are fairly loud and so they create this narrative. Unfortunately influencing many men who where still discovering how life works
The happy couples with support and without problems aren't going to be here complaining about it, are they? This site is mostly populated by those with troubles, so troubles will seem particularly overabundant here.
Availability bias and all that.
They dont. All the women friends stopped talking to me when they found a boyfriend.
Every time i invited any of them for a drink they said yes ad never showed up.
Hell, my ex didn't even want to go out with me and only notices me when she needed me. The reat of the time she acted as if im inconveniencing her.
Women only care when it benefits them
It's mostly men and women who were raised in broken/damaged households who feel that way. And it's probably true for them, since being raised in that environment tends to make people poor decision makers.
Yeah, nobody likes me just the fact I have money
Without that I am nothing even my organs aren't worthy of donating
This song sums it up quite well I feel
I only really hear that from men who aren't in a relationship. And usually they are only saying that because they just yelled upstairs for their mom to bring down more hot pockets but she's in the bathroom instead of waiting for orders.
Because it's true. It happened to me. In reality, a lot of women will leave. Most women want traditional masculine men and get even turned off by men having hobbies that are considered girly. Cry, tell about hardships, hard days... poof... your value can either go down or up. It's a gamble that a lot of men don't want to deal with.
Being vulnerable never got me anywhere compared to being stoic. Nice guys are vulnerable and we all know what happens to nice guys.
No, but I do feel like many of the women in my life are less supportive (and less receptive to trying to be supportive) of me than I am of them.
It isn't that we feel they don't care about us. It is that the vast majority of men experience conditional love from their partners
It's an ugly truth that many men are reluctant to believe. But many women who claim to love their man, doesn't.
u never ever had to worry about this...
it just doesn't cross my mind
Some women do and some don't just as some men do and some don't. The key is in knowing which ones are which and trying to be with the real lovers.
It’s hard for a man to show his vulnerability because once he does that a woman encourages him to show more vulnerability, which he can’t handle at some point. To a certain extent, not expressing your vulnerability keeps it under control
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