Do you agree that if you're looking for love, money doesn't matter; if you're looking for marriage, money does matter?

[Anonymous]

Love doesn't require your partner to have any money. You don't have to pay for them either because love is about love not money.

Marriage is a financial relationship

[MaazHussain]

I would say that this is a complex issue, and there are different perspectives on the role of money in love and marriage.

It is true that love doesn't require your partner to have money, and it's not necessary to spend money to show your love for someone. However, when it comes to building a life together, money can certainly play a role. Financial stability and security can be important for couples who are planning to build a life together, particularly if they want to start a family or purchase a home.

As for marriage, it is true that marriage does involve legal and financial responsibilities, and couples should be prepared to navigate these issues. However, it's important to remember that marriage is not just a financial relationship - it is also a deeply emotional and personal commitment between two people.

Ultimately, the role of money in love and marriage will depend on individual values and priorities. While financial stability is important for some, others may prioritize emotional connection and shared values above financial concerns. It's important for each couple to communicate openly and honestly about their expectations and priorities when it comes to money, and to work together to find a solution that works for them.

[Anonymous]

No, not true. Money matters in both a normal relationship and a marriage. If you start dating a man/woman and you love them but they are financially destructive, it's going to come back on you every single time. You are going to get stuck putting yourself in debt and financial struggle because the person you love is irresponsible. Love does not matter at that point. That person is destroying you financially and it absolutely will matter in the future when your credit is so fucked and you have no savings to buy a house, car or even get to work because of your partners irresponsible nature.

If it is a matter of the person you love being responsible with their own money and not bleeding you dry of yours, than no, money doesn't matter at that point. But that's hardly ever the case. Money will always matter in one form or another. You can't buy anything without money. You can't move forward in life without money. I absolutely hate that it's like this because I personally loathe money and it's value but that's the reality. If you fall in love with a man/woman who still lives at home with his parents and has no job, you're setting yourself up for financial failure because they will expect you to pay their way. That's simply not possible in today's world because everything is so damn expensive.

[Asker]

Na people try to use that to not love poor people. You don't need money to love.

Now if you wanna marry or start a whole life with them and all that then it affects you by the law and even so you could just earn even more money and problem fixed. But it's always you vs them and that's why marriage fails. No one works as a team but instead looks for the first right to make it hostile. "It's about money!" (Noah from the notebook)

[Opinion Owner]

You have a very biased view. Are you poor? Do you not have money? That's literally the only thing I can think of as to why you would have such an outlook. I'm currently engaged to a man that I fell head over heels for and to be quite blunt, he was poor asf and I'm the one who suffered immensely because of it. I was the one paying for everything. I was the one taking hits against my credit and can no longer be approved for a loan due to his irresponsibility in the first 4 years. I was the only one taking the hit. I had to bust my ass working doubles 5 days a week to get where we are now and it was only back 2 years ago when his ass kicked in to gear and it was only because I threatened to leave. Money absolutely does matter. The only person who would say it doesn't is someone who is selfishly accepting any hand out possible and bleeding people dry and destroying the other person's life.

[Asker]

Love is love. It does not require money. You CHOOSE to give him money and suffer. You keep proving my point. Your brain is trying to look for any reason for me to be wrong. I don't want nor need anyone to pay for me. Money is the easiest thing to earn. You just provide service or a product and scale it. It's not rocket science. You're after a life partnership not simply love thus you need/want someone with a decent amount of money. You just don't want to admit that because of the attitude people hold toward people who consider others for their money.

[Opinion Owner]

Listen, I'm not disagreeing with your idea of "love is love and money doesn't matter" idea on life. I'm simply saying it's not a realistic outlook. You can try and paint me as a gold digger all you want but if that were the case I wouldn't have stuck by a man who was broke for 4 years. That would be the opposite of what I did.

[Opinion Owner]

Ahh, I get it now. You simply want to argue with me because you can't stand a woman not agreeing with you. The man below me said the exact same thing I did in fewer words and you went right ahead and agreed with him. But since I said it you want to label me as a gold digger. That's awesome! I truly hope you have the day you deserve.

[Pacquet]

I didn't see gold digger written anywhere besides you response. The implication came from you.

[Opinion Owner]

@Pacquet you creating a narrative in your head is not my problem.

[Pacquet]

What are you talking about? I’m just reading what you both said. You don’t know what I’m thinking.

[Opinion Owner]

@Pacquet it's really quite self explanatory. I say that my fiance financially destroyed me for 4 years due to his negligent spending habits and both you boys jump to the conclusion that I'm a gold digger. How exactly does that make sense? If I was a gold digger I would have went for someone with money. Not an individual who was so poor that he couldn't pay his car note. Out of everything that I said, all you boys did was immediately push the "you're a gold digger" narrative. Do you even know what a gold digger is? Doesn't seem as though either of you do. Funny how the man who commented below me and said the exact same thing I did was met with a "I agree with you" response but my response has triggered the woman hating emotion is childish men.

[jennifer_bloom]

The main thing with money is it allows you to support more than one child. You will have to have some green if you want three kids, one child is okay if you work at McDonald’s but not four or five.

[Asker]

I didn't say anything about kids.

[Pegases]

Not exactly. Love is conditional at first, for both men and women. As men, we often won't even look a woman's way for long term commitment unless we find her physically attractive. Then, and only then in most cases, do we dive deeper to see if she's a good fit for us. As for women, they have an inherent need to feel safe. Resources, is just one of the ways men provide comfort to women. And let's be honest, no one wants to struggle financially, so it makes sense for a woman to want a man to be able to provide for himself, and for her in this day and age.

[Guy13]

I get what you are saying but in eitger case, the money matter. Truth is they both matter and without both one is not going to be happy for the right reasons.

It is either Love&Money, love of Love and Starve, or love Money as Honey 🍯.

[Asker]

I didn't say money doesn't matter but instead I said love does not require money. You dont need nor do they need money for you both to love each other. People just can't accept that fact.

[coachTanthony]

Disagree. Looking for love is called dating and you need money to do that. Looking for marriage is no different that too cost money to get to know someone in order to see if you are compatible. Money is needed no matter how you look at it.

[virtual_girl]

I think it depends what the goal of having a relationship is...

If it's to have a family then the usually the woman would stay home with the children and manage household duties while the man works in which case, to a degree, money does matter.

Of course love is a huge factor on its own... But love doesn't pay the bills, put food on the table or give your child a good education.

[Billybob46]

What if you get married but choose not to have children?

[virtual_girl]

@Billybob46 not sure... As another user said, whether they're willing to sign a prenup will speak volumes about their intentions.

[Adam1978]

If your looking for marriage today makes sure she is earning more, so if she breaks the contract it's your pay day not hers. Otherwise just stay out of it because she will break it eventually. Don't have any illusion the faithful until the end is extinct in today's society.

[Ligerzzero]

For the guys no money doesn’t matter in love or marriage.

For women if they are looking for love or marriage money is extremely important, and they can’t have one without the other.

Sadly love is not just about love, you can love a girl and she can love you but unless you have enough money love does not mean crap.

[oddwaffle]

Armies didn't break because of weapons. They broke because the lack of supplies.

Money is like fertilizer for the love tree. Most of the time you don't need it. However, to keep the tree healthy, baring fruits and survive in a tough environment then you must have it.

[LazerBean]

If you're not looking for marriage then you are not looking for love, you're just looking for friends with benefits with an easy way out when you feel like it.

[Asker]

Marriage is of the law. Love is of the heart and spirit. You sound brain washed. You don't need to be married to be in love.

[LazerBean]

People in love commit to eachother, people who want to get the genitals touched without commitment say they are in love and then refuse to commit.

[Vesuvius87]

This basically. Keeping a girlfriend forever, having fun, having lots of sex, telling your ''I love you's'' but nothing else... that's not commitment. That's not a person you share assets, financial responsibilities, talk about other topics, manage the household chores, etc. That's already a friend with benefit under the false title of ''boyfriend and girlfriend''.

[Vesuvius87]

LOL at the men saying ''you're the love of my life'' but won't marry the girl, LMAO

[LazerBean]

Exactly. And that is exactly why we have so many middle-aged women on here who come crying about their men that dated them for 10 years then left them.

[suzzieQ]

Love doesn't require money, but surviving does. Financial stability is important for everyone. Men, women and children. How can you care for someone else if you can't even care for yourself.

[Tomisworthless]

Women want to be with the best possibly mate for their children. At a young age they seek for attractive men just to sleep with but eventually they want to settle down so they look for a person who has a good career and makes plenty of money.

then you have the really beautiful women who don’t care for settling down until they are older and their beauty faded in the meantime they chase the top 1% of men to be in their company of ultra wealth beauty and status

[Billybob46]

What is a woman who doesn't want kids looking for?

[Tomisworthless]

@Billybob46 most likely the same

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Disagree. The reality money does matter regardless of love or not.

You can't eat nor have a place to stay if you don't have money and love won't work if you are constantly wondering if you are going to eat or get evicted among other problems.

[mobiusforniner]

I dont understand why people say money doesn't matter. You dont need money to be happy, but you sure as hell need it to be comfortable.

Amazing how fast "love" disappears when things aren't comfortable...

[jshm2]

Don't be so stupid and insular.

Love, money and marriage are not mutually exclusive. Plenty of poor people marry, and make it work. Equally, plenty of millionaires marry for the tax break, not the love or relationship.

[Anonymous]

In ANY lasting relationship money will come into play eventually. Money is less of a factor if the two involved are on the same page about what the goals what the endgame is. ANY woman that says a guy has to make at least "X" amount, I'm already done talking to. It will NEVER get any better with her.

[Labokachulaa]

I would think it only matters when it comes to supporting your spouse or family. (If you plan on taking things that far) otherwise, it doesn't/shouldn't matter.

[Vesuvius87]

Well you still have to dress up, make a good impression and have a job to even date the person. That's already requiring money to in order for the date to develop into love.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I've never had to do any of that to attract a woman.
Most of the women who were interested in me, I wasn't even flirting with, wasn't wearing anything fancy, and they didn't know if I was employed or not, or how I was even living.
They just found me funny or smart or cute and made a move.
Unfortunately none were a match, so I turned them down, but it's still valid to my point. People do get feelings for a person based off the person alone.

[Vesuvius87]

@TheSpaceGnome
Not just the man, but the woman has to work too. Money does matter or else we would all be living under a bridge and homeless. It depends on what you're dating for, what you're looking for in the relationship? What's this love that you're looking for? Loving what? It's like having fun and spending lots of time in the bedroom while being boyfriend and girlfriend? Or is it dating for commitment? To have a family?

[TheSpaceGnome]

I've never cared about a girlfriend's income, jobs and money come and go, it has no effect on commitment for me.

Yes people need to survive, but hard times happen, and you don't stop being someone's friend when they temporarily aren't employed, why stop being someone's SO?

I want a female best friend who shares all my interests and hobbies for a wife (obviously that implies "bedroom time" as well, I dunno why you seperated commitment from that), one to start a family business with.

I don't wan't kids though, just a wife.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I do agree though that dual incomes and splitting bills is best, its just i'm not going to dump her if she has a job and gets fired from it, I'm going to help her get a new income.

[Vesuvius87]

@TheSpaceGnome
That's different that someone lazy that does nothing at all, doesn't share similar interest and contributes nothing but sweet words and lust. If he lost his job temporarily, is looking for other jobs (trying his best) and is the man I'll marry then we're in this together.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Lack of shared interests and being lazy is an immediate dealbreaker, its the polar opposite personality of me at that point.

[Vesuvius87]

@TheSpaceGnome
That's what I was mainly referring to. If he is laying on the couch all day then off course that won't attract anyone.
Some common interest does require money though. I'll give you an example of that. I was practicing Judo classes last year. My 2nd ex boyfriend had the common interest of liking martial arts. I had to obviously pay monthly to continue Judo.

[Jamie05rhs]

I 100% disagree.
What makes marriage any different financially than any other relationship?
Answer: NOTHING. Absolutely nothing!
(Unless you're going to have kids. But UNMARRIED COUPLES HAVE KIDS, TOO; SO THAT'S A MOOT POINT!)

[Asker]

I said nothing about a relationship. I said love does not require money. It doesn't. You don't need money to love someone and vice versa.

[Jamie05rhs]

You said "Marriage is a financial relationship."

[RavVid]

Not entirely irrelevant in love. Fine dining experiences, trips away and holidays over seas are still of value.

But yes marriage is a lot more financial.

[HighValue]

If they want love and commitment long term, they need to agree to a prenuptial agreement. Otherwise they only love money.

[virtual_girl]

100% agree

[DizzyDesii]

Outside of taking care of his share of the bills and helping take care of our future kids, I agree, money doesn't matter

[OddBeMe]

No, it’s more ambition not money. What are you both wanting in life. Some are cool staying baristas and clubbing at night. Others are working toward the brass ring and are farther along than their mates.