It just seems he does the bare minimum.

[lildessie3]

so I have had a boyfriend for about a month and things are going well.but it seems funny because he doesn't text me like at all never talks on the phone. and it just seems he does the bare minimum. but the worst part is to me it really feels like he just cares about me when were together and its hard for him to care about me when I'm not with him!? its making me crazy and its difficult to focus on school now that it has consumed my immediate thoughts.any help.i need to hear some advice and when were together its great

Updates

+1 y

thank you so much for all your answers. so yesterday.i told him through a text that if he replied to me it would make me feel like you appreciate me. which he probably didn't understand since he's a guy. lol ?

Updates

+1 y

i just need to feel taht he cares since he never says anything to me about it. but I just love the way he acts in person

[Kenival]

That has happened to me. My girlfriend was in the same position as you I think, I don't know how she felt about it though but I will tell you why I acted the way I did from my side.

I didn't like texting too much, sometimes I was too lazy to even check what she texted me at all. I'd usually answer her texts but if let's say I was on the computer reading something or playing a game and I'd receive a text, I'd read it, put the phone to the side and think "I'll text her after I'm done" but I ended up forgetting about the text completely and I've had to apologize to her so many times because she confronted me about not answering her texts.

Now talking on the phone, I usually didn't like because if there was nothing to talk about, making small talk is just corny. So I usually stood silent on the phone until she got the point and said "alright well, I gotta go."

I also felt like you, I felt a lot more attracted to her when we saw each other in person other then being away from each other. I don't know why.

[lv-cowboy]

Some guys just have no clue how much attention a gal needs. Maybe some previous girl told him he was messaging her too much and thus he now things the minimal amount of contact is the way its supposed to be. Maybe he is just not aware of how much he could message you or that its an option at this stage. Maybe just the sorta guy that can't verbalize without you right there in front of him. Maybe he's the type of guy that doesn't need that mode of contact and doesn't realize that it effects you.

[rox-xox]

Ok I had this same exact problem. you say when you are with him its great and so he obviously cares. And well I mean he wants you as his girlfriend so clearly he cares but what you need is stop worrying. Like seriously sitting around thinking about calling him or if he will text you or anything its not getting you anywhere. He does not stop thinking about you once you part. I can promise you that you are still on his mind all night the fact that he doesn't contact you has nothing to do with how he feels towards u. It's just some guys don't see the point in talking on the phone unless its to plan something. Just remember he is in this relationship because he want to be and don't make the mistake I did by nagging him about why he never calls because it leads to fight and that's why my boyfriend decided to end it. so goodluck

[lildessie3]

Should I make plans with him this weekend or make him do it..or idk. all I know is that I really wanna hang with him

[bannaboat101]

i know how that goes and well if he is only doing the bare minimum then only give him the bare minimum and yes he will be great when your together I have a boyfriend just like that and its annoying I know but what you have to do is really decide if you love him that much to put up with it caus you will feel emotionally abbused after awhile believe me I know my guy gets angry and is immature about all things and now I'm to the helpless lost point where he has consumed all of who I was so you gotta decide what your willing to give up good luck and just worry only about yourself and not just not wanting to hurt him caus your most important

[jaylow]

Do you really want him to txt or call you all day? You would end up getting fed up. I had a boyfriend just the same but it worked out better than the rest after I got used to it. I thought it was nicer because when he did send a txt it meant a lot more to me because it rarely happened. If he really cares when you's are together then you have nothing to worry about, it also gives you more to talk about when you's don't talk from one date to the next. Just remember you's both have a life and don't need to be in each other pockets.

[lildessie3]

So are tou sure I have nothing to worry about if he doesn't text me really when were not together?? but he's great when we are together?? you feel that's not a problem and thanks I'm just looking for advice ....

[jaylow]

Really you have nothing to worry about.What matters is when your together as long as everything is great when you's are then don't worry.Just find things to do when you not with him that will take you mind off it.Just remember you had a life before him so do what you use to when your not with him I wouldn't txt him so much either keep it to a min.At first I found it hard when my ex never txt me but now I couldn't go back txtin a guy everday. Once ya start to not worry it will get better.

[lildessie3]

Ok thanks...but do you think he would make plans say...this weekend ...i mean I know he's my boyfriend and all but I just get insecure

[jaylow]

Making plans is a different story you's need to contact each other in order to do this so if your always the one contacting him to arrange something then I would say to him. Don't always be the one to make the plans or it ain't worth it. Y you so insecure? He is your boyfriend and if he didn't want to be then he wouldn't so you have nothing to be insecure about

[lildessie3]

Oh...i guess I see it differently

[jaylow]

Hope all works out for

[loopylisa7]

boys do not understand that we like little txts, or emails, or phone calls to say nothing just so we know there thinking about us. Its not you babe, lots of lads are like this. tell him you'd like him to stay in touch a bit more. Don't expect miracles, but it might help xx

[candygirl58576yahoo]

If you like the guy that much you should talk to him about it. Also don't do bad in school just because of a guy no guy is that important (no offense not insulting Ur bf) trust me I've been there and I've done that

[lildessie3]

Should I make plans with him this weekend or wait for him??

[Kenival]

Sorry I didn't check up on the site for a while but I'm glad you talked to him about it. I wish you both good luck with your relationship =]

[lildessie3]

Its far over...so I'm totally over him and I learned a lot so I'm glad now that I know just one more thing I don't want guys to be doing to me when I'm with them so yea thanks for all your help though

[Marie_staysfit]

hey girl so I am soo happy I came across you’d message it gave me the confidence to feel good about my decision to not keep taking the same inconsistent communication from this guy I been talking back and fourth I know what I want in a relationship and I won’t budge my standards I hope the same for you!