![Is the silent treatment immature?](https://cf.girlsaskguys.com/q3516063/3e8cb103-7012-420d-b674-b62e1c95f045.jpg)
Is the silent treatment immature?
![Is the silent treatment immature?](https://cf.girlsaskguys.com/q3516063/3e8cb103-7012-420d-b674-b62e1c95f045.jpg)
Depending on why it's being engaged by the person, it could be seen as either mature or immature in my opinion. I think that at some point though, if you want to keep it mature, you have to find a way to express yourself other than just avoiding communication. It could be a good tool to buy some time and evaluate the situation better objectively.
Yes and no. Sometimes the hurt and intense feelings make it to where you shut down around the other person and you can't be warm to them and you are too hurt to talk.
The mature thing to do in that situation is to say I'm really hurt, I need to some time away to calm down and come to grasp with things until I'm ready to talk about this.
In some extreme instances this time away/alone you may actually be trying to figure out if you even want to stay in this relationship and you need to be away from them to think clearly.
It is but not... If you want to give them silent treatment because you want to punish them or to hurt them, then yes it's immature. Not, if you want to have space and sometimes words are not enough to express yourself... But long term silence doesn't solve problems. Makes it worse sometimes
When I'm silent, it means I'm preventing myself from saying something hella offensive. No shade.
Lol yeah but I can't really say something too offensive and take it back but when I'm silent that's just much better and I'll be thanking myself later.
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Yes. It's just another form of emotional blackmail.
Yeah that is what they call it too... Emotional blackmail.
how? i give silent treatment so I don't say something stupid
@Pinky_what_why Do you tell that to the person you’re giving the silent treatment to? If you aren’t, then you are emotionally blackmailing them.
@HopelessRomantic2119 lol i do i say i will stop talking now so i won't say anything stupid
@Pinky_what_why As long as you state that you are holding back from talking, so you don't say something you will regret, that is not the silent treatment. The silent treatment is where you don't talk to the person to make him/her feel bad and shut out.
@ArrowheadSW lol oh I do that to other people sometimes when they make me mad
Yes, it’s immature. Sometimes I need some time away from the situation to clarify my thoughts and feelings so I don’t say something I’ll regret. But I always communicate that with my partner. Never the silent treatment.
Right... Wanting to step aside so as to not say something that you'll regret is different than the "silent treatment". The silent treatment is about as destructive as you can get. I'm glad you made the distinction.
It's probably an option for those who can't just sit and talk out the things... But I wouldn't do it... I'd rather talk 😊 I can't even handle it not to talk to my boyfriend 😅😍
If they feel they can't talk about the problem... Yeah... Still according to you there is 1% who do... That a lot of people having in mind we are 7 billion
Yes to both. I kind of use the silent treatment. It's more like I need space to cool off otherwise I'll say something I'll regret out of anger. So I just chill on my own for a few hours, come to my senses and apologize.
I had an ex give me the silent treatment after I canceled on a date. It was probably the second time I cancelled and I didn't mean to always seem like I was cancelling. But I really couldn't make it, sadly. He got really angry I could tell because he stopped texting me. I could sense it that he was pissed which I felt bad but I gave him space. He didn't talk about it after that. He just acted like it didn't happen and I arranged the next date.
Thinking back on that relationship, he gave me the silent treatment quite a few times. It was a combination of both of us not talking to each other for a while. I have no idea if he was cooling off like I did or if he wanted to me chase after him and apologize. But I didn't chase him lol I just gave him space because that's what I would want.
Not sure if that's considered healthy.
NO, and here is why people will have there own opinion the silent treatment as some will call it is not true sometimes the person feels as if they say one thing or another that they could make it worse well being silent is sometimes the best of things talking to much can cause more problems then solving I have hanging in my room "Sometimes... sitting beside someone in silence... is more powerful than spoken words." no if you was to open your mind to this thinking you realize that love is not about talking its about what you do for each other so if he was to be or did do something wrong then not talking to him is more like punishment some will call it blackmail or even emotional abuse but if you can't sit back and look at the full picture then you would not realize what a dot painting is its like this if a kids steals from a store who should be punished the mother for not knowing or the kid knowing that it was wrong to take it so as you can see though its a form of punishment its not a traumatic as other things that happen in this world as long as your not wanting something in return its nothing more then giving a person their just desert and sometimes its best cause if they can't learn from a mistake then they will never be any good
I understand how awful it can be but I just want to make sure people understand that sometimes people go silent because anything they do say would only escalate the situation.
For instance: Last night I got annoyed at the guy I'm seeing and went quiet. When he asked me what was wrong I'd say nothing and try to make an effort to seem happier or briefly talk about something trivial. I excused myself as feeling ill but mentally I had decided to finish things between us. There was no way to leave his apartment or talk without escalating things so I stayed. In the morning I realized my anger was more to do with my comedown and severe lack of sleep than him. We are now better than ever.
People giving the silent treatment shouldn't do so passive aggressively to punish the other person but people on the receiving end have to understand that sometimes it is necessary for their partner or friend to take a step back and evaluate the situation. Not everything you want to say in the moment is something you should say and no one should have to.
If the silent treatment is inmature or not, depends on the situation.
Eg, if someone doesn't understand that you don't want a romantic relationship even though you have already talked and try to make him understood, then the cold shoulder is the Last option no matter if the others think that you are cruel. This action is not inmature, you are just putting your limits in a mature way instead of engaging in physical aggresion when it can't be necessary unless the stalker decides to use it.
An inmature example could be like the one between children with their parents, they pout or don't want to talk to their parents if they don't give them what they want, it is like throwing a tantrum but in a silent way, like the threatening of not breathing.
A mature example can be if someone hurt you, either physical or emotionally, but it is something that cannot be neither forgiving nor forgotten so easily. Depending on the transgression, things could be patched by time, or they won't.
An inmature one could be that you had a feud with your friend because of a stupid matter like which is the Best movie this year, the most handsome guy at school or work, the Best place to eat, the one who deserves some prize, etc, etc. Of course, if there is a silent treatment, it shouldn't Last for long unless both you are very stubborn to eat part of the humble pie.
Like I said, it depends on the situation.
Ahhh, the silent treatment. It certainly has it's use cases but people generally just don't use it correctly most of the time.
Hence it got classified as childish by many.
One real example i had is when my then girlfriend got upset to me about something as rather unimportant as waking her up at the right time... Which i actually did by touching her in tenderness like hugging her but heard her response "let me sleep some more".
OK. 30 minutes later i told her verbally then "it's so-and-so time. Wake up".
Then basically that's where she started a drama show, insulted me as being abnormal and socially inept and told me she's never going to have a sleepover at my place again.
I told her i did exactly what she has asked me to do.
Then she said what she has meant.
Then i answered "you should have told me exactly that. I did what i was told.".
She insisted that it was my fault.
She kept being angry and accusing while i kept being calm and stoic.
Then boom. I said "ok!" And used the silent treatment. I said no word for the rest of the day to her except for "let's go out to work now." and "i will see you at work" when we (almost) parted ways (she should have went to work, i went to the university).
She started to follow me and tried to get me to speak. Me not saying a word and just ignoring her. After a few minutes she just left it be and went to work.
she got me angered a bit but i was undergoing anger management in solitude. I hate drama. I didn't want to say this at that time in order for her to not exploit it.
She has regretted her words a lot in the end.
Afterwards when she apologized to me i told her, that I'm not speaking in these situations in order to not do the same mistakes, that she did. That's when we started talking again.
And was for the better. I don't say or do anything i am likely to regret.
I hope she learned to better control herself.
So there we have it. One use case of the silent treatment.
Not really, sure it's a dick move but it's far from immature. Some people like myself do it because I know I might lash out and do something I might regret later. What is really immature is lashing out at the person and not giving them a proper answer for it. I think you need to have a lot of self control to stay silent, especially if the situation was heated. After all, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all. But in the end, if I'll apologize afterwards cause I know it was a dick move. There are only a few circumstances in which I haven't apologized or confronted them and that was because I felt unsafe with that person.
When our emotions take over, we sometimes act irrationally, and this includes giving others the silent treatment.
So I would not say that it is immature. The immature actions are keeping up the treatment for extended periods of time and not following it up with a conversation about the problem.
The silent treatment is unpleasant for the one receiving it, and I find that it only causes me to feel resentment for the one giving me that treatment, making it harder to fix the problem once talking starts.
It is an unproductive move and people should try not to use it.
I have been given the silent treatment. They stop doing it when they realize that it doesn’t work. It doesn’t bother me. I like to act like nothing is wrong. Either have a conversation about the problem or move on. Don’t just sit in the middle like a bump on a log. What’s that going to fix?
I will continue to ask her questions completely off the subject and wait for a response. If she won’t respond. I like to answer for her and then tell her what a great choice she’s made.
If she is that pissed off at me and thinks that I am going to sleep on the couch. She’s lost her damn mind. That’s our bed. We will sleep in it together. If you don’t want to because you’re pissed off. Then you go sleep on the damn couch. While I sleep like a baby in bed.
I did it when this girl I love rejected me and only wants me as a friend... I haven't spoken to her since.
so nah... I wouldn't say it's immature... some people just to it for good reasons or to get something out of it... or to fix something...
I was hoping ignoring this girl and rejecting her offer for friendship would make her want me more in less of a friend way but the same way I like her.
but it seemed it didn't work cos she also hasn't spoken to me since... so now I'm just sort of doing it as revenge.
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@BluesheepOwl really... you think so? lol 😀😂😃
Yes! Very much
@BluesheepOwl hmm.. wow, thanks 😃😊
i dunno if I can believe u... but thanks lol 😊😊😊❤️
Aw well that's sad but no problem! Have a nice Christmas
@BluesheepOwl u too 😊❤️
Not for me it isn’t. I mean if it’s because of a petty fight, it can be immature. If it’s something big that caused me to be deeply upset and hurt, i would give him the silent treatment.. Not because i want to take “revenge” on him, but because I’d rather talk to him again when I've had my own time and space. If not, im pretty sure I’d tell him mean things out of anger and that would even worsen the fight. Id simply tell him to give me a little time and space alone and that it’s for the sake of our relationship.
I’d assume he’d need it too.
It’s immature and extremely manipulative. Not to mention very cruel, as well. I’m all for wanting to take some time to process your thoughts and emotions, but if you’re an adult you should know how long you need and you should tell your partner how long it will be. That’s not the silent treatment. Really, unless your partner has cheated on you, ignoring them is unwarranted and is a cruel form of punishment. I can’t say this in all cases, but the silent treatment is usually perpetuated by women, and it’s done to punish men while still being able to say they “just needed space” If you need space or time to gather your emotions, be an adult, and let your partner know that’s what you need. Lack of communication is often a part of breakups, and the silent treatment contributes to that.
It depends, some people use the silent treatment because they don't want to argue, but yeah some people to gain more attention. Usually, when I pull the silent it's because that person is pissing me off and I just can't bother. They say silence is the best response.
Pull the silent treatment*
It is immature, but it's still better than some other options. This is especially true when you don't have the luxury of time to sort out your thoughts and feelings in order to foster a productive dialogue. That said, there are a few necessary words to introduce the silence that go a long way toward avoiding that "silent treatment" stalemate feeling. "I'm sorry, but I need some time to process this before I can offer meaningful input to solving our problem (s)." Or something of the like.
Well it depends on the intent.
If someone is giving you the silent treatment because they're angry and are doing it because they know it bugs the hell out of you then yes, it's immature. because they're wasting time rather than trying to work things out.
If they do it because they're angry but need time to think of a way to express themselves and word themselves in a way that doesn't make the situation worse, then that's just being practical.
I think during arguments, I'll go silent when I'm really angry. Chances are, I need time to think. Also if I think I can't deal with something at the moment or else I fear that I'll say something that I regret, then I'll go silent. But if you ask me what's wrong, I'll just say it. I'm pretty darn blunt.
Yes - it’s immature, if it’s done to manipulate. Now sometimes it’s just being quiet. Or angry at someone or something else.
Personally, I got the silent treatment a lot, then a tirade...
The silent treatment didn’t really work on me. Sometimes the silent treatment was the only time I could get some peace.
It isn't immature exactly. Everyone has their own way of resolving conflicts, and sometimes, simply not saying anything can be a really easy way to deal with the issues. I tend to give the silent treatment to people I really don't want to communicate with.
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