Would you marry someone you couldn't trust with your darkest secrets?

[KostasKouvalis]

I've been seeing a lot of stories recently about men who were on the run for a crime and living under assumed names and their own wives didn't even know.

One man robbed a bank when he was young, and he never got caught and lived under an assumed name his whole life, and only told his family his crime and real name when he was on his death bed.

Another man raped a co-worker almost two decades ago, and was on the run and living under an assumed name the entire time, and his wife only found out about it when he was finally caught by police.

Maybe it's just me, but trust and loyalty are extremely important to me. My conscience would never allow me to decieve someone to that degree, and also, I wouldn't marry a woman I couldn't trust with that kind of sensitive information to begin with.

It's truly saddening that someone could be THAT selfish to stoop to that kind of level of deception! Why would they even marry someone they didn't trust? I were those women I would have been furious and heartbroken and would probably never be able to trust another man again.

I would

No way!

[avery58]

Well those people did wrong because they didn't give their partner the option to fully know all their defects and fooled them into a relationship.

The first wife might not have married him if she knew that he had robbed a bank, and the second wife most probably wouldn't have. So it's like stealing years of their lives they could have chosen to spend elsewhere. That's what makes it truly wrong.

As far as fully trusting someone, I don't think it's a good idea.. precisely because of things like the ones you just mentioned. Also I have seen people who seemed to be nearly perfect end up doing really crappy things, so I'm just defensive about blindly trusting anyone. But that doesn't mean I'll keep important secrets from my husband.

[KostasKouvalis]

Yes I agree. Of course he's not gonna rat himself out, but that once again leads to the question of to why he would bother marrying someone he couldn't trust to keep his darkest secrets.

And obviously if that would stop her from marrying him, then obviously she isn't loyal and can't be trusted, therefore he wouldn't disclose that information to her in the first place.

So I agree that he conned them, especially the first guy, considering robbing a bank isn't horrible as raping someone. The first guy is even worse, because he had children with her and never told them about his past.
Either way, both men are pieces of shits

[Anonymous]

You said you've been seeing a lot of stories recently, but you only provided two examples, and you didn't link the sources. Can you please provide the links to those two stories, and to some of the many others you referred to?

But regardless, to answer your question, no I could not marry someone I couldn't be completely open and honest with about my past.

[KostasKouvalis]

I don't know why it's relevant, but here...

www.yahoo.com/.../...-caught-across-153205015.html

www.google.com/.../thomas-randele-ted-conrad-bank-robber-confession-cec

[Opinion Owner]

It's relevant because you said you've been seeing a lot of stories, but you only have two examples in a country with a population of more than 3.3 million people. That's like me saying I've been hearing a lot of stories about the same person winning the lottery 3 times. I mean yeah, it might happen, but a lot? Nope.

[KostasKouvalis]

That's not the point of the question though

[Opinion Owner]

It's not the point you are trying to make that I was responding to, it was how you did it.

[IslaTheWitch]

the trust is one of the main pillars of any relationship... I wouldn't involve myself with someone I can't trust

[strateguy632]

yes, n keep them secret

[jahaims]

Nope.