Guys, is it true you are rarely complimented?

[coxoabean]

I recently saw something that said that guys are rarely complimented and then when they are, they hold onto that compliment. I heard a story that a guy was complimented and when he was he started to cry and said it is rarely he receives compliments. How do you guys feel when you are complimented, do you remember that compliment? If you are complimented rarely, how has that affected you? Do you guys wish you could share your feelings more, without being judged or seen as unmanly for it? I'd assume that most guys don't express their feelings and just hide them due to society teaching that guys are to be tough, and if they express their feelings they're weak. If they express they're hurt or sad, they're seen as weak. If they cry, they're seen as weak and told "only girls cry", which I believe creates a mask for men, causing them to hide their true emotions. Causing them to hide their feelings when they're sad, hurt or depressed, they feel lonely because they can't talk about their problems and emotions. I listened to something about rebounds and the guys said that when a girl goes through a break up she has more support than a guy would, because guys hide their pain. Not allowing people to know they're really hurting. That was so sad to hear. Women seem to be put at a higher place in this area in life then men. We're the ones that receive all the compliments, we get to express our feelings, and no judgment, but when it comes to guys it's wrong. I'm sure it is hard being a guy, as society seems to push this.. but I would disagree that a guy is weak just because he expresses his feelings.

[Anonymous]

I can’t remember when was the last time I received a compliment. It’s similar to a girl’s resources, like money. Women don’t share their resources w men the way men do w women. Yes it’s rare. As far as sharing my feelings. I’ll share my feelings regardless of whether someone says something or not. But do I? No. But that’s probably because of years of being conditioned this way. Does it bother me now? No it doesn’t. It’s just part of who I am as a man after all these years. Especially in my culture as a Native American. I shouldn’t just say my culture, a lot of cultures.

In a lot of bad situations women are usually the ones who are more emotional, like crying. I as the man have to have some sort of bearing to be strong for my wife, my kids. Because most times women look to men for security, not the other way around. So if I’m crying like a big baby in a bad situation, she doesn’t have me to look to for guidance, for comfort. She’s probably thinking if he’s crying too this is a lot worse than she thinks it is. So I have to maintain that stoicism, to be strong. I do feel like yes part of growing up that way isn’t a good thing, but too when I look at a lot of today’s young men, a lot of them are feminized.

Whether we like it or not we’re still going to need cops, soldiers, jobs that require men who are willing to put their life on the line for others. Of boys continue to grow as a lot of these future generous of men growing who’s going to be there to fight for us when we need it? So in my opinion it’s needed as well to have men like this. A number of boys I’ve talked to who are younger say no they’d never go, they’re scared. Which yes most people would be scared. But when these boys say they’re scared it’s more like it’s coming from a female being scared. I don’t know if that makes sense.

When it comes to breakups, yes women tend to get more “support.” For one most people tend to believe the girl that he was the problem. It’s never the girl’s fault. But there’s all kinds of double standards in life. Am I complaining? No. Just pointing out some things. A lot of us as men have just accepted that this is how life is. That we’re seen as expendable. The way a lot of women talk about men these, saying we don’t need men. I get it’s hard as a female growing up but it’s just as hard being a male, maybe harder I don’t know. We’re just taught to suck things up. There was a story on a girl, I believe her name was Norah Vincent. She went undercover as a man for I believe 18 months. She realized how much harder it was, how much lonelier it was being a dude. She eventually ended up deleting herself because she was so depressed w a lot of things men go through. How we’re treated. How women look at us. How a lot of women instantly go on guard just for being a man walking down the street.

I wouldn't change the way I am though. Did it hurt at times growing up? Yes. But I feel much stronger for going through it.

[Opinion Owner]

In response to receiving a compliment. What do I do w it? Honestly I don’t know what to do w it. I feel weird. Almost embarrassed. Like you’re putting me on the spot. Men do a lot of things w out ever getting compliments. But we don’t do it for compliments. We do a lot of things because we know as men that that’s what we’re supposed to do. A lot of women seem to get their feelings hurt when their boss doesn’t compliment them, or her husband doesn’t notice her new hair or nails. But yes it’s like Sasquatch to receive a compliment.

[OhLongJohnsoning]

Yeah, since women are taught it's "being too forward", if she does

I don't get that though, like, why shouldn't you be able to tell a man how you feel

[coxoabean]

Ya, I agree. I think it's ok to compliment if we sincerely mean it

[OhLongJohnsoning]

Right?

[ohsheeT]

I'm complimented all the time and I try to walk away from it quickly I don't know why I just feel weird when somebody's complimenting me... The last compliment that I got. Was very weird because I didn't want to hear it because it meant a couple different things were happening

For the last past three or so years my mom moved in with me she had full-blown dementia Alzheimer's...

. She was living with my sister and things just were not good there she wanted to find a new place to live and I told her that's bull crap you can move in with me... I really didn't want that but at the time I was going to let her go someplace and not know anybody... Anyway I walked into her room and she said come here and I said what.

She said I need to tell you something and I said it's good you don't need to say anything.

When I was 16 I moved out of my parents home and it was her and her new husband.

And even though we had family gatherings in this and that she really never knew who I was it was only by rumors that I probably started lol that she knew who I was and that wasn't me.

Taking care of her for the last past 4 years has been the hardest job I've ever had in my life it was just disgusting in so many different ways... Because of the things I had to do I hated it but I hit it quite well..

And I was angry at my sister for not helping my brother for not helping... But she told me that day that she was very proud of who I grew up to be that I was kind I was gentle I was smart I was giving and she just could not believe what a good person I was the things that I did for her to make the last part of her life good for her that she thought she had to tell me that and I just kind of said okay yeah and I kind of listened for a second and like I always do walk away..

A little couple days later she passed away..

And I had to think about it and it was the most miserable job I've ever had to do but to hear her say the things that she said basically just to acknowledge me was quite powerful..

I really don't take compliments very well I usually just walk away say okay yeah fine whatever thank you see you next time LOL


. I have gotten so many compliments I have gotten letters from companies to my bosses staying with a good person I am and blah blah blah blah blah blah but
. but for me to hear her say the words that she said was rewarding because no one in my family really knows me my brother does a little bit but to hear her say that things that she said was kind of cool

[DishLady]

Apparently so. I asked the question a couple of months ago as part of a discussion about love languages. While guys and gals both love words of affirmation, for some reason guys don't often get them from their gals.

On the flip side, gals who offer guys words of affirmation are usually teachers, counselors or maternal figures who know the value of TLC.

Life is hard for everyone. It's important to remember that guys need positive reinforcement and affirmation on the regular.

[coxoabean]

Yes it is!

[Finchie40]

Yes it’s pretty much true , Females’ get way more attention than most of us guys’ do , so when a beautiful girl approaches us and flirts with us , we cherish that moment because it’s something we don’t get a lot of. For whatever reason this past month I been getting checked out and hit on by girls’ a lot more than usual, I don’t know what it is and I would love to figure it out lol , I didn’t change anything about myself , I am still living my ordinary life , but for whatever reason I became a chick magnet this month lol. I am not complaining , just want to know why? Lol

[handsomelad70]

I assume ladies regard you handsome, Finchie40.

[Finchie40]

Thanks man , that’s probably what it is. Considering I am just keeping to myself when these girls’ approach me and flirt with me.

[Unit1]

Yes. Ever wonder why women almost never compliment men?

As a consequence and seeing women reaping compliments like a combine harvester harvesting wheat, we are under the impression, that we must be butt-freaking-ugly since we can barely get any compliments. That tanks right in our confidence and that's why you see many boys say "nobody wants me because i'm fugly".

🙄

[Anonymous]

In general, yes. When a woman genuinely gasses a guy up it can sustain him for months, even years. He'll I remember certain genuine compliments from 30 years ago. Because they are rare.

But not I used the QUALIFIER "genuine". Because that's the thing. Guys KNOW the games women play. And if a woman is complimenting it's typically in pretext for something she wants. There are very few Genuine compliments a guy receives from women. So generally when a woman compliments a guy he's trying to ascertain her "game".

[patois]

Nope. I don't think I can really encounter a woman in person other than my Mom and not get complimented. They throw a lot of compliments my way and generally they mean absolutely nothing to me. It all seems so fake... Either they are ogling you like a piece of meat, trying to be flirty for attention and thrill seeking, or trying to manipulate you to get something out of you. So compliments are pretty hard to take serious.

[PA19062024]

I've received lots of compliments, usually about my appearance. I didn't think this was so unusual, I thought it was very common. It might be due to cultural differences, because I notice you're in the United States, and maybe over there men aren't complimented for some weird reason.

[coxoabean]

Yaa maybe

[ItsMariusz]

The last time I received a genuine compliment from someone outside my family was probably two years ago.

[coxoabean]

I'm sorry

[spartan55]

It's very true that the typical guy seldom receives compliments. I've been told I'm a pretty attractive guy and I hardly ever get them.

[coxoabean]

Ya, because I'm sure attractive guys are complimented on their looks, and it might be rarely even then... but I mean more than just a compliment on looks. I mean compliments too on like when you guys do something great, or just anything really.

[spartan55]

Nope, hardly ever.

[coxoabean]

I'm sorry... I think men should definitely be complimented more often then they are

[spartan55]

Well, thank you. I wish more women felt that way.

[coxoabean]

No problem

[DishLady]

@spartan55, You have a very nice helmet collection...

[spartan55]

@DishLady
I have a new evening model that's very swanky.

[DishLady]

@spartan55 Oh yeah? One with military-grade night vision and thermal optics? That would be really cool...

[spartan55]

@DishLady
I need that when the lights are off...

[DishLady]

Oh my... 😳

[spartan55]

Lights are always on in the Sparta.

[jamesgoldman]

Exactly, I don't get compliments, my jewellery does

[coxoabean]

Dang I'm sorry

[jamesgoldman]

The amount that cost (even in the trade) I'm not going to lie I'm glad

[RetroReviews]

I would say it is rare to get compliments not that I seek them but it seems to be the opposite for women they get compliments and they do seek them

[foxsquirrell]

That is true. But we don't expect it really. At least not in words. But if a hot girl smiles at me or in anyway flirts or suggests interest, to me that is a compliment. It is a compliment by implication. :)

[Anonymous]

Yes, I get a few a year. When I do, I almost always get more compliments from guys than girl. While it's appreciated, if means more coming from a girl.

[idonotlikeyou]

To compliment someone, you need to have a reason for it. And most guys don't see beyond their own dick, so there's nothing to compliment them on.

[coxoabean]

That's not true though. Not every guy is the same, and they have plenty to be complimented on. They could think the same about us and think us ladies don't have any reason to be complimented as a lot of women just complain, nag and trash talk guys. There are plenty of things they do to be complimented for, such as being hardworking... and much more.

[idonotlikeyou]

You don't have to agree with my opinion. My experiences with men are what they are, and nothing you write will change that. I wrote "most guys," not "all." I am aware that statistically, there must be exceptions to this unfortunate rule.

[strateguy632]

we have stuff deserved them, but people like you @idonotlikeyou don't see it.

[KrakenAttackin]

Ask yourself, how often have you complimented a man?

[coxoabean]

A lot, why

[coxoabean]

But I'm one person. So...

[KrakenAttackin]

Men very rarely get heartfelt compliments, especially from women.

I make a point to compliment men I know when it is warranted.

[coxoabean]

I see

[strateguy632]

true, i don't expect them. and dont get them.

[Avicenna]

A lot of compliments are made implicitly or very subtly

[Knightwatch27]

It's very rare outside of family yes. It does happen but not often, and practically never from people my own age.

[Billlewis]

Yes, that's very true.

[coxoabean]

That's so sad

[Billlewis]

Yes, ma'am, thank you very much.

[Babygirl_S]

I have complimented guys in my life and they started behaving rudely after that.