Why is it uncommon to see women asking men out first or asking men for their number first?

[Anonymous]

[DishLady]

It’s not uncommon to see, however guys tend to feel less of a direct investment in a girl if they aren’t the ones to initiate a few milestone actions… they subconsciously are just doing what YOU want and responding to you rather than doing what THEY want and feeling that sense of pride that comes with accomplishing a task.


It’s something I’ve observed from my own experience and I’m seeing friends go through a number of failed attempts at connecting with a gal. I’d you ask them why they’re not still with a certain girl, it’s usually bc they got bored of her doing everything… she was basically in a relationship with herself and asking the guy to participate in her schedule. (And what gal looking for love really wants THAT? None.)


So… let the guy initiate. Let him be the “doer” so he can develop a sense of pride and accomplishment just for being with his girl, esp if you’re expecting him to stay with you long-term.


If you’re only interested in short-term then it’s not important WHO initiates because you’re just expecting a friends with benefits/Hookup/Situationship that’s temporary.

[Crazyced]

No, let's not put this on men. Bumble had to dismantle the central pillar of their business model because women literally felt having to send the 1st message was 'too much of a burden'.

Best dates and connections I had was with women who made the 1st move. It in no way meant they had to keep making all the moves afterwards. It just meant that of all the hundreds of guys in her inbox, she was interested enough in me to send a message 1st (not bumble).

[DishLady]

@Crazyced I'm not "putting" anything on anyone. I'm just stating my observation -- it's why they call these "opinions" buddy.

I don't give a flying *** about Bumble. I don't use any of those crappy apps. The folks I know who do use them are ALWAYS complaining about guys being hookups rather than anything more.

Perhaps an emotionally stunted guy needs a woman to get things started, then. I don't know you or why you need a woman to do a man's job.

[Crazyced]

'emotionally stunted'? 'need'? 'man's job'? Always the classic shaming and selective gender roles coming back.

If they can only find hookup they they must lack qualities.

[DishLady]

@Crazyced That last bit is probably true -- of guys and gals alike.

[4ngelic]

because we've been conditionned to think it's just guys that are supposed to make the first move. and if you're a girl and do it that it might turn the guy off

[teamvic]

Because everyone sees it as men are supposed to approach and women just have to choose

[boggboss]

Because the expecting has always been men making the first move

[In_Trance]

Because the church has brainwashed the masses to believe that men should do the approach

[Anonymous]

It's a combination of cowardice and entitlement.

[Anonymous]

I don't know why, but I wish they would.