My boyfriend makes me feel that I am not listened to, my moods are not handleable by him, he is always high. Tell me if it is ok?

[Anonymous]

To begin with, we have been in a relationship for 19 months. I have rarely felt emotionally connected to him because he does not share stuff. It seems as though I am just another friend of his, and it seems the reason he is with me is because of my looks (which he jokingly mentioned when he was a bit high, that I am just a pretty face and nothing else). He has been working for about 2 months now and still there is no scope of improvement and sense of responsibility when it comes to his intoxication (both dry and liquid). Also when all this summed up, leads to change in my mood - it in turn leads to an argument and he just gets irritated and walks off from the conversation. This has so mentally affected me. Does this gist tell that he is disrespectful and doesn't care about my emotions?

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, this doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship at all. A few big red flags:

- He doesn't seem emotionally available or interested in really knowing you as a person. That's super important in a relationship.

- His comment about you just being a pretty face was totally uncalled for and disrespectful. No one deserves to be objectified like that.

- Being under the influence a lot and making you feel like your feelings aren't valid when you're upset is not okay.

- The fact it hasn't improved even after you've been together over a year shows a lack of willingness to meet your emotional needs.

- Walking away from arguments instead of communicating is immature and will only breed more resentment.

It really does seem like he doesn't truly care about your happiness or take your feelings seriously. A good partner would listen without judgment, make an effort to understand your perspective, and want to work through problems as a team.

This isn't providing you with a caring, supportive relationship. You deserve way better than to be with someone who makes you constantly feel unheard and dismissed. Do you really want to stay in a situation that's mentally affecting you so negatively? I think you need to have a serious talk with him and if it doesn't change, consider if being single might be healthier for you. Don't settle for less than the respect and care you need, girl!

[ChicoFromThe305]

If you don't feel loved it's most likely cause it's not happening, if you feel like you aren't being listened too then what should be done next is communication and you should clarify how you feel cause it's possible around everything he focuses on he can get distracted and he might unintentionally be distancing himself from you, try communicating and if that doesn't work then it only proves you are correct and he really isn't listening to you, then from there nobody can say you didn't fight for the relationship first.

[DishLady]

He’s an addict. Addicted aren’t boyfriend/girlfriend material. Why are you expecting him to handle your moods and thoughts when he can’t handle his own?

[slatyb]

If it were ok, you wouldn't be asking. It's not ok. "I have rarely felt emotionally connected to him..."

Is he the last single man on your planet? Stop wasting your time and find a man you can feel connected to.

[boggboss]

How do u need to ask this its pretty obvious he dont care why pick a shitty partner then wonder why they are acting shitty