Confused about my crush’s behaviour, why is he acting like this?

[Hyacinthhh]

Hey, so i’ve been crushing on this man for about a year and a half now, he is my type physically and mentally, but the thing is we only met once in our life, chatted a bit irl and never met since cuz he studies abroads, we quite literally talk every single day via messages, and when a day passes without a conversation, he reachs out and says “i miss you” and “the day that passed seemed weird since u didn't reach out” so i started to suspect that maybe he share the same feelings as me.

Yesterday we had a conversation about marriage, it was just a cute fun conversation about how both of us could marry each other if we couldnt find the one by reaching 27 and it was mainly for fun nothing serious cuz he jokes in a flirty way a lot, but that night he spoke to me seriously and said “i feel like you’re hinting for something, and i want to say i have feelings for you, but i dont know if i like you or not” which left me in a very weird position, i really dont know what to do, is that a red flag, or is he considering me friends with benefits.. i really don’t understand.

[Goahead76]

I think it seems like a completely rational response, he likes you, he enjoys the conversation, but anything beyond that is hard to say.

You're building a connection with this guy which is good. The question now, is there chemistry Is there attraction? It's either there or it's not usually.

[Hyacinthhh]

Well he said “even if i like a girl a lot, i wouldn't get into a relationship because it always doesn't end well.”, when it comes to chemistry i can sense it, even my friends all agree on it.. but i really can’t understand his point of view.. perhaps his old experiences made him like that?

[Goahead76]

There is so much to say on this I don't know where to begin. I feel like I could teach a college course on why men are turning away from relationships. With this guy though I'm wondering if he's giving you the real reason or if it's more of a blanket reason to cover others that are too hard to explain. What I mean by that is guys thinking long term relationship look out and see the world on fire, war, worsening economic outlook maybe their career isn't where they want and think whoa.. maybe I'll wait.

He may just not be interested, but quite often guys will have a lot of other reasons that don't necessarily relate to you. It is strange though if the chemistry or attraction is there.

[Iron_Man]

Don’t ever get into that you’re just being used for sex

[Hyacinthhh]

Shit you think? I mean what he said is really “player” kind of talk indeed, and i can't even find a proper justification for it.. maybe you’re right

[Iron_Man]

Please be very careful. Don’t do that friends with benefits

[AlinaJanowska18]

It seems to me that you either need to live together or break off the relationship. A long-distance relationship is a pain for both

[rosemilk]

it's probably because he lives far away and doesn't want to get into a long distance relationship situation

[Hyacinthhh]

You see, he occasionally comes around my city, and he even saw me once outside but was too shy to come and say hey, he also did get into a long distance relationship before me and it didn't end well, so maybe thats the reason why he didn't wanna act upon whats happening, maybe he is just afraid a relationship is going to ruin the whole friendship we have?

[rosemilk]

that's what it seems like

[In_Trance]

Gnarly

Use your words