How can a man say he’s trying to get closer to God but isn’t willing to wait until marriage for sex?

[Anonymous]

His mother is highly religious and he seems to go to church often etc.. He comes from a religious background ect…. When I told him I was waiting until marriage for sx that’s when he kind of changed…. he also wanted to know when I was last intimate he’s 36/37…

But weeks later he rejected me and ghosted saying he didn’t want to put time in if we weren’t going to eventually have sex. … and then he said he’s trying to get closer to God and other bs

[lightbulb27]

The correct answer was..."you can have all the sex you want after were married, or at least engaged". I think he asked last time you were intimate because of what you said below... you posted suggestive photos. Suggestive of what... that you are ready to go.

Why would he if he's religious... you can't judge people by what chair they sit in or what label is on their shirt.

Points below are valid, compatability is important to figure out before married. That can be solved as communication and working out between you.

I suspect though, this isn't love, this is lust... which doesn't have much patience. He gave up thinking he was maybe wasting his time.

You baited one... had one on the hook... and lost him. Maybe it's best...

[Summeroflove]

Because he’s lukewarm and a liar. He’s just a coward he can’t tell you directly that it’s not mean to be he just cut you off. In the end he did you a favor people like this aren’t worth the time.

People who act all innocent and then you find out later they’re a whore/man whore you’re just glad you dodged a bullet.

He was probably sent by Satan to try to tempt you to see what you would do. If he contacts you again. Just tell him he’s a coward and he ghosted you when he could have just said “we are looking for different things and I don’t think it’s gonna work” but people like that also like having you on the back burner.

This dude is gonna fuck around and he’s gonna find out quite literally. He will find someone who makes him miserable and he will do the same to her. Then it will be a game of whose the victim

[Asker]

This!! Oddly enough I was praying for a guy like him… he was showing certain qualities in a man I liked and even considered “husband “ material… but I keep forgetting.. the devil answers prayers too

[Summeroflove]

Unfortunately this happens and the devil sends a counterfeit. Some people can pretend so well to be a way but they’re putting it on for you. Whether he means to or just doesn’t know any better is another story.

But. I genuinely believe God has a reward for those who wait and follow him. Don’t give into the pressure because it can be demoralizing at times.

There has been women before who genuinely seemed so sweet and I started getting a bad feeling. To find out later….

[Asker]

Maybe I’m not an angel idk… but this has made me feel so unlovable… I’ve started trying to seek male attention and I just want to feel the lust vs the love.

[Summeroflove]

Asker nobody is perfect. But some people are definitely worse then others. If you genuinely repent of your sins and you still feel bad when you do things wrong. That’s one thing.

But. People who are overly sexual like that especially who claim to be Christian are two faced.

[Summeroflove]

A lot of people want it both ways. There are men who wanna sleep around and marry a virgin. There are women who wanna play the part of a innocent good girl and marry a gentleman…. Oh but she also has fun with the bad boys. It just doesn’t work like that

[Summeroflove]

It can be hard to find a genuine person. But it’s worth the wait. Once someone settles for less it leads to a life of misery

[dustybiker2]

Then tell him to find someone to pay to get closer to god with.

[Lliam]

Because he isn't completely stupid.

Do you think it's important to be compatible when it comes to most things, especially morals, values, mutual interests and religion?
Well sexual compatibility is also very important if you are going to be married to someone for the rest of your life.

I would NEVER date anyone who was "saving" themselves for marriage. I wouldn't want to find out too late that they were frigid or something. I wanted to be able to have fun, mutually satisfying sex with my wife.
And if she didn't trust me enough to engage 100% in our relationship before marriage, I wouldn't trust her. What else is she holding out on?

I respect your ex. You can treasure your precious "purity" until you are old and dried up. You probably don't have a libido anyway and are just trying to trap some unsuspecting guy in marriage.

[Asker]

I wasn’t actually waiting for marriage but I just didn’t want to be used for sex. I was scared that’s all he wanted

[Lliam]

I can definitely understand that and I don't blame you at all.

[NamerOfStars]

Because he doesn't see sexual abstinence as a source of closeness with God- or because he takes marriage seriously enough to not risk blowing it away due to sexual incompatibility.

Take a look at how much Jesus had to say about sex in comparison with the other stuff He talked about.

[strateguy632]

it depends, but in this case dump him.

in general did jesus ever say not to sleep together before a wedding. so not a real sin nor hypocrit.

it realy depends which god they claim to follow.

[OlderAndWiser]

Unless you are perfect and can offer a flawless specimen of the female species to your partner, you should not expect perfection in return. And expecting Christians to be without sin is so un-Christian!

[RetroReviews]

It's hard the spirit and flesh are at odds with each other. Our corrupt flesh has a sinful nature, even if you are saved the flesh still has lustful cravings. Don't be too hard on him

[BoopBoopBeep]

did he know you were a virgin when he started dating you?

[Asker]

No he didn’t… I think he thought quite the opposite… I do post suggestive photos… I told him that my dad used to be a pastor and he said “does your dad know you post those pics”….

[BoopBoopBeep]

Hmm... seems like maybe if that came up earlier then it could have come to a head sooner... neither of you end up wasting time. Pity. Sorry you went through that.

[Asker]

I just don’t understand why he said it or why it mattered if he wanted to have sex with me anyway

[BoopBoopBeep]

Not everyone feels premarital sex is against their god. I like pizza. I like puppies. Neither has anything to do with the other.

[Asker]

I’m asking about the comment he made about how I dressed

[BoopBoopBeep]

your dad's a pastor you post suggestive pics that surprised him.

What part of that is hard to understand?

[Asker]

Okay and? He goes to church too… his mom is highly religious… yet he watches tranny pages (explicit) and he wants to have sex before marriage.

[BoopBoopBeep]

And what? He does all these things. Yes I suppose I'll take your word for it. I don't understand what you're asking me.

[Asker]

I’m saying he can’t demean me for what I wear when he’s not perfect

[BoopBoopBeep]

Sure he can. SHOULD he, no, but people are hypocrites all the time. This is his turn. Not shocking in the least.

[spartan55]

I thought it was because he had a girlfriend, or he was gay, but now he's a holy roller...🙄

[Asker]

You say that like he can’t be all of the above

[spartan55]

I'm sure he is.

[Asker]

He deceived me

[spartan55]

Keep telling yourself that. You weren't honest either.

[Asker]

With what? Omg

[Asker]

I was honest day one

[spartan55]

You act like you haven't told the story multiple times... smh

[Asker]

So and

[spartan55]

So and you're a liar

[Asker]

What did I lie about?

[Asker]

I’m confused

[spartan55]

I can't do this right now

[Asker]

You can’t tell me why you’re accusing me of being a liar… um okay 👍

[spartan55]

I can, but I don't feel like it.

[Asker]

Then at this point you’re lying

[spartan55]

Of course, you forgot to say it's "never your fault" though

[Asker]

I never said that

[shortster]

Sounds like he isn't trying very hard. I know that we all have sins that we struggle with; but he seems overly interested in committing this one than following the commandments. More so actively pursuing the sin than giving in to temptation.

[OddBeMe]

There are so many contradictions in the Bible I wouldn’t worry about it.

Theoretically…your guy could rape you and then marry you and be all right with god. Not so much with you or the law. But gods ok with it apparently.

[Anonymous]

'I wasn’t actually waiting for marriage'

Then you attracted the energy of what you were seeking.

[Asker]

No just because I’m not necessarily waiting doesn’t mean I’m trying to be used

[236color]

It means he's human. Very few people, including the ones that peach abstinence actually practice it.

[AngryCarl]

Marriage is mainly just a church thing. God is happy with whatever so long as you're in a committed relationship. Why do you need a piece of paper to do what you were going to do anyway?

[ProbablyClueless]

Sex and religious aspirations aren't mutually exclusive things.

[jahaims]

Different people interpret religion differently. It's all imaginary so it depends on his imagination.

[Anonymous]

You shouldn't waste your time on religious nut jobs.

[exitseven]

Some people find their salvation in sex.

[Asker]

Lolol

[FunkyMonkee]

What's god got to do with any of that?

[DextroShade]

Are you a virgin?

[Asker]

Yes I am

[Anonymous]

He's one of those lukewarm Christians.

[RedInnocent69]

Not well.

[Asker]

Not well?

[RedInnocent69]

Yeah, he can’t say he’s trying to get closer to God but isn’t willing to wait until marriage for sex, well.