Hey,
I believe the answer to this is quite intricate.
Let me start by emphasizing that at some point in a relationship, whether it's a man or a woman, thoughts of someone else might arise. It's not a massive deal, as long as there's open communication about it. The key is to foster an environment where discussing such matters isn't met with accusations of cheating or ill intentions. Ultimately, it's up to the individual how they choose to handle it. Remember, loyalty can't be dictated; if your partner wants to fly, let them. If someone isn't fully commited it's hard to keep the relationship afloat.
Every relationship is unique, which adds to its complexity.
Speaking specifically about the male perspective, guys are generally pretty open about acknowledging the attractiveness of other women. If they feel secure, they'll candidly share such thoughts. However, about 95-99% of the time, it's genuinely nothing to be concerned about. My brother has a term for it – "monkey brain." Our primal instincts sometimes hijack our subconscious, filling our minds with all sorts of naughty ideas. It's an exasperating mental quirk to deal with. But here's the silver lining: men aren't oblivious. We understand what we have, and we cherish it.
Here's the golden rule: don't let personal thoughts provoke anger in a partner.
However, let me share a personal experience where I slipped up – because even good guys make mistakes; we're only human.
Here's how it unfolded: I entered a relationship after months of dating. Yet, a nagging feeling persisted that this relationship might not stand the test of time. Comparisons with past relationships where love flowed more freely led me to realize something vital was missing: physical touch. My girlfriend didn't initiate hugs, cuddles, or even resting her head on my shoulder. For me, this was a significant concern and an indication to begin discussing it. But it became evident that she had a distant approach to physical contact, an intrinsic aspect of her personality. She was wonderful in many aspects, an ideal girlfriend, but this aspect was absent. She never initiated intimacy, and it sometimes felt like she was only obliging me. This dynamic led to our physical relationship dwindling, eventually culminating in no sexual intimacy for about seven months.
During a friend's weekend getaway, I met someone else. She was incomparable to my girlfriend at the time. She wasn't someone I'd consider for a serious relationship, but she did offer something I had been missing for years – a simple hug, followed by closeness and eventually a kiss.
In a panic, I confessed my misstep to my girlfriend, explaining that it didn't carry the weight it might seem to. And in many ways, it was true – a manifestation of something I had been deprived of for quite a while.
This misstep prompted a long-overdue conversation, spanning several days. It was undoubtedly a tough phase, but it marked the beginning of improved communication. Her response was nothing short of extraordinary. And our relationship found a new beginning
However, after six months, our paths diverged due to differing desires about having children. I was building a business, and she wanted to start a family. Rather than put each other's aspirations on hold, we chose to part ways amicably.
To this day, we remain friends.
The irony is, after beeing single again the other girl seemingly presented herself on a platter, I didn't pursue it. I didn't want her. In retrospect, it became clear that the incident held no real significance. Our relationship was already running on fumes, and my actions inadvertently hastened its demise.
Through this experience, I recognized that what I was seeking was someone who matched my girlfriend's qualities but expressed affection in a more physical manner.
The crux of this story is that when men's thoughts wander, it often doesn't carry much weight. However, when it does, it's usually because something essential is lacking. This void can take many forms – a feeling, an energy, a vibe, a shared vision of the future – the possibilities are endless.
I suggest talking about it with your boyfriend if it bothers you. Talk with a smile, be honest, be compasionate, care about what he has to say and realy listen.
The emmotional maturaty of you both will dictate how well that conversation goes but these are my thoughts, my experiences and my advice.
Good luck!
Most Helpful Opinions
For me, looking at other women, either in photos or real life, doesn't mean a thing. I merely love the female form. I see women as the most attractive form of art. I even search porn scenes sometimes just to look at examples of the female form in motion.
When a guy flirts with another woman, though, it's a definite problem. Like if he goes on websites and interacts with women. It's equally bad when a woman does that. It means that the person isn't satisfied with their partner.
I love and adore my wife. I would never cheat. I'm not even tempted. But I do love the sight of sexy women and my wife gets it. I don't have to pretend that I never notice any women but her. She doesn't feel threatened. And she can appreciate the male form, too. It's really no different that thinking that puppies are adorable, or appreciating flowers, landscapes, sunsets or beautiful art.
We've been walking at the beach and seen sexy women in bikinis rollerskating or roller blading past on the path. My wife and I will notice them and look at each other. She'll smile at me like "How did you like that?"
One time we were on a ferry in San Francisco bay. A sailboat passed very near and two young women raised their tops to flash our boat. My wife grabbed my arm and pointed so that I wouldn't miss it.
Another time, we went to a frozen yogurt place by a lake. There were four young people in front of us in line, maybe in their late teens or early 20s. The girl right in front of us was wearing a beach top that only covered the top of her ass. She must have been wearing a thong because her fat, round, perfect ass looked completely naked. My wife and I looked at each other like "Dang!" With nobody else looking, I reached out and made a gesture like squeezing that plump goodness. We both laughed silently at each other.
Later, at home, I squeezed my wife's plump, round ass and said hers was sexier. That led to other things.
It means they’re listing after another women but they can’t admit that because they think it’s harmless. So in their brain there is “nothing wrong” with it. Aside from the ones who do have a guilty conscious and choose to lie and say it means nothing when in fact it means a whole lot more than they choose to share.
Both are wrong. Lol and both are to be avoided.
We like our men emotionally aware and respectful.
I don't get jealous if a guy shows interest in other girls but I won't commit to a guy that is not serious about me and only me. I know I have a connection with God and God can replace any guy that is not interested in dating me.
What Girls & Guys Said
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You mean on social medias like insta? If yes, it means your guy is either a cheater or you're dating a woman sweetheart.
Social medias are places made for women. A guy has no place there except to make money (influencer) or chase a pussy. Putting likes on pics of girls you'll never meet is so stupid
Usually not. It’s usually just a sexual thing, meaning he finds her sexually appealing. As far as feelings beyond that, no. A man usually develops those feelings once he starts talking to a girl he likes, but initially it’s all about looks.
Luckily my husband doesn't watch porn or look at other women on social media..
Men are prone to cheating, so it usually starts with pictures, porn and social media.
I think just pics are acceptable.
No. Really doesn't mean anything
Depends on the context!
Nope.
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