Why do guys ignore their ex after breaking up?

[KhanhLinh]

After breaking up, my ex didn't unfriend me but he ignored all my texts, and finally it's me who block him. Why does he do that? If he doesn't need me anymore, why doesn't he unfriend me but just ignore? I hate the way he ignores me

Updates

+1 y

It wasn't me who broke up with him. I felt that he was trying to push me far away for some reasons, so I asked him if he wanted a breaking up and he agreed. But I still have feelings for him and I think he still has feelings for me. It's really hard for me to move on if I feel we still love each other, and I text him to ask does he love me anymore. If he doesn't love me, just tell me he doesn't love me and I will move on, never look back, but he says nothing at all

[jennyPuss]

you getting mad and blocking him is the equivalent of a rage quite when your team loses and you think its everyone else's fault but its actually yours. he's being the mature one. you are the one who can't decide what they want. decisions are forks in the road. you have to decide one direction or another and you don't know where either one will take you. it's possible both could end up in a bad place, it's possible both could end up in a good place, and it's possible one could take you someplace great while the other takes you to a bad place. that's called life. you can't predict the future. all you can do is attempt to mitigate uncertainty with good character. being a loyal and faithful partner helps to mitigate the uncertainty that you might break up- usually an outcome that most people would want to avoid at the onset of a relationship. you broke up with him but want to maintain contact with him. that's a counterproductive behavior. he's ignoring you because he's mature. he didn't need to officially block you on social media because he has self control. what you need to do is grow some balls. i know that's hard because you have a vagina. but if you want him to respect you (which is bro language is the only way he'll respond to you, by the way) you have to speak to him on HIS WAY of thinking. pestering him with messages after you've broken up is woman talk and he's done with that.

sit down for awhile- however long it takes. go to the beach alone. sit in your closet and close the door. go for a walk. i don't care. think hard if you want to DECIDE that you want to be with him. if the answer is yes- then you must act accordingly to a proper decision. any wishy-washy-ness will instantly ruin any chances with him. don't fuck with me on this point because you will lose i guarantee it.

next, type or hand write him a letter. in the letter simply state that you have had time to think about the breakup and all of the factors that you believed were contributing factors to the breakup. tell him you're sorry for your part of the breakup. (because you played a part. if you attempt to put the fault of the entire breakup on him you have absolutely no chance with him)

don't tell him you love him. tell him that you respect him very very much and that you think that the issues can be fixed and you're willing to make it happen if he will consider talking about it with you. if you tell him you love him it's game over. you have to tell him you respect him. leave it short.

[PunkinPie]

Often the blocking or unfriending is perceived as an additional insult, so he probably doesn't want to upset you further.

From what you said, three things are likely to me:

1. He's hurt you wanted to break up, especially since you say his finances are partly to blame, and that's a serious blow to his ego. So he really doesn't want to talk to you.

2. He may be relieved because long-distance relationships are very hard and lonely, and now he can date girls who are actually in his surroundings.

3. You regret it but it's too late. Likely you feel lonely now but you don't really love him or you wouldn't have asked to break up in the first place. Time to be a big girl and move on.

[milettescheepers]

you do the same now. ignore him too. if he decides to message you one day ignore him again and wait for the next message before you reply and then just reply briefly by saying speak to you later im at this awesome wedding and then you wait for the next message from him. and thats how you do it!

[Djaaay]

What a game player...

[jennyPuss]

wow thats kinda sad. why can't people be mature? she could get him back if she tried the right way

[milettescheepers]

cause if you dont play games guys take you for a fool and they think you're desperate. so now were just showing them that we can live without them and they dont have to feel so macho for making us feel like shit if they throw everything away all of a sudden

[jennyPuss]

yeah but i think she broke up with him because she was being all critical of his qualifications. i think it's mostly her fault in the first place. now she's being butt-hurt.

[milettescheepers]

yes and she tried to say sorry now he's mean to her. so now unfortunately playing games is her only option

[milettescheepers]

yes and she tried to say sorry now he's mean to her. so now unfortunately playing games is her only option

[jennyPuss]

he's not playing games- she's just not speaking bro language. how can he possibly take her seriously when she breaks up with him but then comes back all sorry? he's not playing games he just doesn't take her seriously because five minutes after he takes her back she's going to break up with him again. she has to figure out how to convince him that SHE is not the one playing games.

[milettescheepers]

yes and she tried to say sorry now he's mean to her. so now unfortunately playing games is her only option

[Toad-1]

Her best option is to walk away from this forever

[HeyThereDreamer]

After reading your question and your answers to some of the comments guys have asked you, I conclude the following:

1) The break up was not mutual. If you say it is mutual, it means that the both of you agreed to do so. But this is not the case here. He told you to break up, you got angry and said yes. So it wasn't a proper agreement between the both of you, thus not a mutual breakup.

2) Perhaps he didn't unfriend you because he was leaving space for the both of you to be friends sometime in the future. But whatever the case might be, he ignored your messages (most likely) because he does not want to have anything to do with you as of now (you guys broke up if you haven't realised that by now). So give him space and give yourself space to heal.

3) For completeness, I will add that your action of blocking him in response to him ignoring your texts also goes to show how much he really means to you. He could have blocked you after you sent him messages, but he didn't. Instead, you chose to block him perhaps as a way of showing him "so you're not replying to me now, goodbye". With respect, that is a very immature action that you just proved to him. Like I said earlier, he probably didn't unfriend you because he wanted to leave a window of opportunity for future friendship.

In conclusion, he is your ex now, the breakup was not mutual, give him space and you get some space yourself, and understand that by blocking him you probably threw all future opportunities of contact out the window. And, some parting advice, I hope you find a better guy like he told you to because if he said that it most likely means he doesn't truly like you for who you are.

[KhanhLinh]

Well.. maybe you're right, but I don't want to be friend if we're not in love anymore, even he wants to be friends in the future, that's why I blocked him. I just texted him to ask if he doesn't love me anymore, tell me clearly so that I can give up on him, I'm not too needy or desperate to keep a man who doesn't love me. If he doesn't love me, just tell me he doesn't love me so we break up, don't tell me to find someone who's better. Is it really hard to say you don't love someone?

[HeyThereDreamer]

If the reason is not because he doesn't love you, then another reason could be because he's not sure if he's the one for you. But whatever the reason is, just accept that you guys have broken up. That's that. Life is too short to waste over these things. Do you want to spend the rest of your life trying to find out whether he loves you? I rather you take some time to heal now and the right person will come in the future

[KhanhLinh]

Thanks for your advice, and blocking him is a way for me to heal my heart. It's painful for me to see him everyday without talking
And it's so hard for me to move on if I feel we still love each other, but maybe I must do that. Time can heal everything

[HeyThereDreamer]

Yes, time heals everything. We just need to let time pass. Do anything that makes you comfortable to get over him. And you can add me if you feel like you need someone to talk to, take care

[KhanhLinh]

Thank you, maybe someday I will send you a message to ask for your advice 😄

[Kota-the-Unhearted]

For some guys it's our way to punish ourselves. We ignore our ex so we don't hurt them but we don't unfriend because subconsciously we still want there to be something to hold onto

[KhanhLinh]

Thank you for your comments, especially your comments to the guy with rude words. I love my ex, from the bottom of my heart, I feel he just like you, but I have no evidence to believe in what I feel

[Kota-the-Unhearted]

No problem. And honestly guys like that piss me off so ya :p also when it comes to your ex. all I can say talk to him but he'll most likely just keep to himself sadly

[KhanhLinh]

Thank you, nice guy 😊

[sineater8]

Men usually distance themselves from their partners after a break up for many reasons. First obviously is that emotionally they may feel betrayed or guilty, depending on how relationship ended and need time to heal. Second a man can’t really disassociate his sexual and emotional feelings for a woman once he’s had a relationship with her, and being in close proximity to a woman who was once so available to him can be emotionally and psychologically frustrating especially when the break up is fresh. For these reasons and some others, a man will typically distance himself from an ex, don’t take it personal it just how a man reacts in these situations..

[GingerGuy]

Depends on the circumstances of the break up. If it's painful for him, you're a reminder of that so he needs to cut off all ties with you to move on with his life, and/or, to get over you. Maybe in time, he can "be friends", but right now, he needs to do this.

[KhanhLinh]

If he's painful, it means he still has feelings for me, can I take him back in someday?

[KhanhLinh]

Or he will overcome the pain and move on, never look back?

[GingerGuy]

Again, depends on the guy and your relationship. Some will be willing, others won't go back.

[Wolframium]

I try as much as I can to be rational. Now. In past, I have been different. I never stalked them, though. I was too occupied with my pain. And I knew, that they aren’t. So, there was hate with that pain.
Today, I would solve things differently. If there would be such event (which kind of implies, that I had girlfriend, which, as we all know, isn’t possible), then I would enter the “lock” state. Remove her from everywhere, to reduce chance of random seeing online, and for real life…I don’t really have an answer. There is next to 0 chance, that I would bump into her, so I guess I just don’t have to do anything. It the situation would require this, I would block her. Everywhere. But I just cannot see myself doing this.
She would be in ex-right-after-break-up category, which is the worst. My focus would be on myself.
But all of this depends on the break up. I have something not pretty in my head, like she leaving me because of another guy, as it was in the past.

[thatguyfromtoronto]

I think girls and guys just look at life differently especially when it comes to relationships. Sure, there are couples in this world who break up and remain friends and do the whole friends with benefits stuff. But overall, guys don't care about preserving a relationship with a girl if the relationship ends. Let's say a girl broke up with me and she still respected me as a person and wanted to be in her life.

I personally would be confused because I would think, if I mean that much to you, why break up? A guy's reasoning behind it is what's the point, I don't want to be her guy friend and listen to her girl problems that's what a girl's girlfriends are for. Take away the sex, passion and lovey dovey stuff and a guy will say f-it and move on.

[artisticbeliever]

I wish that was the case for everyone. Two of my ex's realized I wanted nothing from them and genuinely cared (I guess). I feel as though I'm dry with them but, they keep asking to "make things the way they were."

[thatguyfromtoronto]

@artisticbeliever yeah I don't want to bother any ex girls I knew back in the day. Last thing I need is to kicked in the balls outside a local McDonald's at night or having a restraining order put on.

[thatguyfromtoronto]

Every girl is different, I would rather not talk at all because I don't want drama down the road.

[artisticbeliever]

Ok the "kicked the ball outside the local McDonalds" was funny as hell, just to let you. I get you though. Could you possibly give your take on the question I posted, I would like your take on it: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2608593-i-have-2-ex-s-that-are-still-apart-of-my-life-i-feel-that-they-both

[thatguyfromtoronto]

@artisticbeliever sure I'll answer it in a bit.

[thatguyfromtoronto]

@artisticbeliever Ok answered your question, and don't laugh at the thought of someone like me getting kicked outside a local McDonalds, that shit would hurrrt, girl's don't kick light, y'all kick fucking hard like it's a world cup soccer game.

[artisticbeliever]

Thank you!!! I wasn't laughing at you getting kicked but, the fact that you said that. You seem like a great person, just from reading the things you say. I look forward to reading your response.

[CheshireCat89]

After a break up of any kind, even amicable ones, it is best to give each other time and space. For any potential of friendship in the future both of you need this.

It is way to easy to slide back into patterns, often dysfunctional ones. Sticking to no contact, for at least 2 or 3 months, give it a better chance.

In your case, it's likely that he doesn't hate you or feel the need to unfollow/unfriendly you, but can't really really talk with you either.

[maijin]

not all guys... it depends on the reason.. eg I broke up with my girlfriend after I found her dating someone n don't let me know... still then I said if u find better one tell me honestly... m not gonna force u... n till now m willing to talk anytime if she wanted to...

[Nice_Guy_Last]

There's any number of reasons: some guys just want to put past feeling behind them and get on with their lives; for some guys the feeling is still to raw, and the contact would open the wound in their heart; lastly, they might not be able to stand their ex, and don't want to have anything to do with them.

[Anonymous]

Because he wants to stick with his desicion. I know when I break up with someone it's hard to continue to talk because he tried convincing me non stop and making me feel bad about it. I needed to step away for a while, clear my thoughts just like he had to.

[BrittBratt2416]

Cause you're an ex, duh. Whats the point im speaking to someone you're no longer romantically involved with? It just makes it awkward trying to be friends. I dont get how people can buddies after breaking up but couldnt stay together..

[KhanhLinh]

Well.. I didn't try to be friend with him, I think we still love each other so I texted to ask does he love me anymore. If he does, I will given up on him

[KhanhLinh]

If he doesn't love me, I will give up on him

[BrittBratt2416]

Listen girl if he still loved you or wanted to be with you then he would have stayed with you and said he did when you texted him. Him not replying is his answer to you and the answer is no. He probably pulled away cause he wasn't that serious about the relationship. Don't wait on him, delete his number, messages, facebook, snap and move on.

[BrittBratt2416]

@Icardi you can message me or just ask your question here.

[susil]

it depends maybe he still wants to stalk you or see your updates
well u made the right decision because ur body ain't waiting for nobody specially who treats u that way

[Blake0048]

because he's single now and doesn't need you. He's got other girks he needs to fuck why should he be talking to you? Thats just silly if you ask me

[BellePepper]

Sometimes it's just easier for people to ignore their ex so they can move on better

[mattmanyah]

it's hard to deal with them. there's a reason why I broke up with them and by talking to him I might fall back into a bad habit. so it's best just avoid them as much as possible until I get used to being alone.

[Tdieseler]

Umm... he is a guy, he doesn't care about all that shit. Im still "friends" on social media with people i dislike a lot.
I just have the time to put in the effort to start "unfriending" or deleting anything. Ignoring is the best option.

[denisenic01e]

He needs space & some time to heal from the break-up.. He wanted to stay friends with you, that's why he didn't delete you.. But he just needed a break from communicating to let any feelings calm down.

[SherbertShark]

I don't use Facebook so let me tell you why I ignored my ex after breaking up.
Because no matter which way you slice it, the kid wasn't mine.

[KhanhLinh]

That's unforgivable

[SherbertShark]

DNA testing doesn't lie, ha. We don't talk anymore at all. I sometimes think she misses me, but aye. Apparently that shit just "happens".

[ThatGuy329]

You go bro

[geonator]

I would argue that if a person wants a relationship with someone but doesn't wanna talk to them if they don't have the relationship, then their intentions aren't in the right place. They're not actually aiming to value the person as a person. In the case of a breakup though they might just be aiming to move on but if that's the case he needs to actually state that, not just ignore you

[IdekButHey]

he ignores but doesn't block because he wants to still keep an eye on you and how things are going, maybe there are still feelings and he needs to figure things out

[Prof_Don]

Dwelling on a past relationship is such a waste of time... ESPECIALLY if she broke up with me.

No way am I wasting time and energy on a woman who dumped me. Too much pride.

[KhanhLinh]

I didn't dump him. I still have feelings for him, I just text him to ask if he doesn't love me anymore so that I can give up on him

[PunkinPie]

Honey... Not getting an answer IS the answer. If he still loved you and wanted to work it out he would tell you.

[M1402]

the real question is why you kept texting him, I'm not trying to sound rude but he's obviously ignoring you because he just may want to move on and i suggest you do the same