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Lately, I've been coming across a lot of men who would befriend me. Whenever we are in conversation, all they ever talk about is their business plans or how much money they have in the bank or how many sources of income they have.
And at first I was being super chill but now its getting annoying and am left with the question,
"Is that all they have to offer"? or is this a way they use to pick up chicks?
because I ain't no gold digger. Why do they continually talk about this?
Grateful for all the response...
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
22Opinion
1. I understand your frustration & I think it is good to have high standards (as I have written about in my Mytakes such as Characteristics of a Lady
2. If a man is a real man as in has traditional masculinity then yes, he has more to offer than money since by definition he is expected to & does do 1,000 things his male ancestors did or he is willing & able to learn how to as needed. He isn't useless. Side note: men should always ask if the woman they are considering is useless or not too.
3. Women never seem to completely understand the concept of gold digger from the male pov. To men, 99.99% of the women we want to be with on this planet are "gold diggers". Even the ones who think they aren't. Women are looking to upgrade their lives by getting a man who is capable of doing that. Men don't think the same way -- the vast majority. A man could find a woman working in fast food and marry her if she has the right personality. A woman is not going to marry the dude who is a fast food cook UNLESS she has zero other options in life. And then she will spin it like she's a saint doing charity work instead of telling the truth that the dudes who had more resources/ambition/opportunity in life just didn't care enough about her. I guess it is hard for a woman to wrap her mind around because most women think it's all about their looks so naturally they would think that if they look good, there's no reason for a man not to want her. These same women can't explain why they can't keep a man but to men it is obvious.
There's different types of gold diggers tho. There's those who only want the money. And there are those who want the money plus a guy with a good character. Naturally a guy with more to offer than money wants the second type. Desperate guys just want the first type. These are like the sports jocks who knowingly go to a pickup joint where women trolling for rich athletes hang out & then marry her when all she is after is money.
A man never complains about a woman being a "gold digger" until after she leaves him. Don't leave the guy and he will never call you that cause... hey, you were loyal to him. Just like if you worked in a bank for 30 years and never stole money: you're loyal. Then one day you walk out with a million dollars and all of a sudden somebody is calling the FBI.
Some guys lack diplomacy/social smarts. A guy can say something stupid but that doesn't necessarily define who he is. It is a reflection of his life experiences. Personally, I never told a woman anything about my finances. Unless we were already together for many, many, many years and like on the edge of getting engaged.
@hahahmm all very valid points. I especially love the last one. You won't tell women about your finances unless you were already engaged or with her many many years.
I think you alluded to the correct answer. Some people are so cynical about humanity they think the only options they can find are the ones they can buy. Money is a factor because you need to eat, but the main point is behaviour and sympathy, not money.
As a Chinese person, your reputation is determined by your income or husband and most Chinese guys refuse to date jobless women, it’s not part of Chinese culture to integrate jobless women who are house wives.
It’s not like other cultures where being a house wife or home maker is a welcome and valued occupation.
Not respected in Chinese communities.
@jennifer_bloom I agree
It’s a sign of personal insecurity. They feel the most noticeable asset they have to offer is their money… they know it will attract a lot of attention and they like being in the limelight … one of the cool kids in the in crowd…. in their minds and hearts, they may genuinely think they have nothing else to recommend them to society.
https://youtu.be/fzjmlyafhos?feature=shared@DishLady that's so sad cause what if the women they attract are just pretending to like them and after their money? Which is most of the case anyways
Because it impresses women. It doesn't impress you? That's too bad; on to the next one.
When society places all the burden of romantic pursuit on one side of the equation, and changing social factors see the odds of success plummet, the natural order will see most participants adopt the most efficient means of attempt. Humans are no different from any other creature.
@NamerOfStars I won't disagree that in society men are seen as providers and having a man who is financially blessed is desirable because how can you he take care of a family without money?
However, how can you enjoy a person that places their whole focus on but one aspect in life? Its like if you met a woman and during the date she talked about her looks, she looked like a barbie with a good body but had no goals, dreams or interest in settling down, no hobbies but her looks, I can't imagine that would be fun!
Oh, no doubt. It's what comes of perpetually seeking romantic entanglements at the expense of basically everything else.
@NamerOfStars Agreed
It's because our world is sadly regressing. When the characters matter less men flaunt their wealth and women flaunt their sexuality. And you see both happening across the board. Many people do it because they see everyone else doing it, thinking that that's the only way to attract a mate. Sadly they are wrong, but they don't realize that. Others do it because they see it as the new and most effective way to getting the attention or respect they want.
@Grond21 sounds like sad world tbh
It really is. We have to keep praying for that diamond hidden in the rough
@Grond21 true
They think money is what attracts women, so they use it to attract women.
Incidentally they'll attract gold diggers, further reinforcing their belief, that women want monnies.
It's a terrible mindset to be in 😣😣😣
Because some guys believe that wealth attracts women. Unfortunately, guys learn the hard way as most end up getting what they baited for and not what they intended to catch...
"She take my money well I'm in need
Yeah, she's a triflin' friend indeed
Oh, she's a gold digger
Way over town that digs on me..."
They imagine it will induce you to have sex with them. Will it?
@slatyb no it won't
Good. It should not. A man who brags about his wealth is a man who will be expecting value for every dollar he spends.
They must be obsessed with it and think it impresses women. They may also be compensating for a small D.
@bowenw I thought this as well but wanted to hear what the men response would be.
They know that most women won't actually give a shit about them just like most men won't so they appeal to their financial interests to have a mirage of a relationship or to just get easy sex.
@Juxtapose, thanks for this, vey concise.
You're welcome and that's what just what I was going for. No need to fluff it up.
👍👍
I think most people who have money flaunt what they have. You can’t deny the Onlyfans stars who flaunt theirs too.
@Amandanator true
Who do Hermès, Dior or Chanel produce their 10.000$ handbags for? Certainly not men!
So strange
@Anon the strangest. lol
Guys do what works for them. Unless they're not as interested in sex as most people. But that's a different story. Clearly there have been women that were interested in what they were saying.
Why do women flaunt thier ass? Is that all THEY have to offer?
@Anon possibly if they dont flaunt anything else
Well, you answered your own question. Congrats!
@Anon guess it goes both ways, what a surprise !
A lot of guys have been told that having money is how you get women. It's the same as how girls get told from a very young age that all men want is sex.
Because the social dynamic judges men and tell women they deserve only the best and richest.
Enough women are impressed by it that doing so virtually ensures a hit.
insecure, materialistic, and shallow men do.
Because it impresses dumb people and they get validation out of it