Why would a taken monogamous woman need a male friends lr even male friends?

[marish01]

What can a male friend give her that her male romantic partner can't?

[DJB72]

He can be a sounding board. Guys see things you don't - like a message you may not realise that your clothing says to a guy. It's just an example, however accurate.

Girls see things we don't too. So I have female friends who can point out a potential faux Pas I'm doing/saying/wearing/looking at that I don't think about and my wife has male friends who do the same.

Not every guy you meet - even the straight ones - wants to sleep with you. Just like not every girl wants to sleep with him. It's a falsehood that men and women are unable to have platonic friendships. If you're emotionally mature it's not a problem, you simply decide not to take each others' clothes off. Simple.

[marish01]

I don't see/feel the necesity of having a male friend

[DJB72]

That's your choice. Just be open to the possibility of needing another perspective in the future

[marish01]

What do you mean?

[DJB72]

It's just that men and women see the world from different perspectives. And we see relationship issues through that lens.

The memes where the couple are in bed and she's thinking "he's thinking about another woman" and his thought bubble is something about Lord of the Rings or how to fix the car is pretty accurate.

Once you're in a long term relationship, it helps to have a friend who can see the other perspective sometimes

[marish01]

When I have a boyfriend he will be the only male friend I have ever had.

[DJB72]

Then you seriously need to make a male friend or two.

If I may ask, are you a religious person?

[marish01]

Why shouod I do something I don't want?

[Friendlybro79]

Because men and women can be friends it's that simple. Why because people make friends with people. Sometimes it's a woman making friends with a man. It could stem from childhood. Are you telling me if you have a male friend since that you've never romantically been involved with you're whole life that you'd have to completely drop them once in a sexual relationship with another man?

I have childhood female friends that I don't see all the time but a few times a year. We just like to see each other, check in, see how we're doing and laugh at stuff. She's married with 3 kids and I'm friends with her husband too now.

Why? Because a woman may have a an actual nice male friend that is just a friend and friendships are one thing in this life, amongst other things that create a happy existence.

When you actually have good friendships that are a lifetime, you will love them too but just like a sibling.

[marish01]

I refuse to have male friends even now that I'm single.

[Friendlybro79]

Ok that's up to you and I can't tell you how to live. If you're happy with your decision that's all that matters. Any particular reason for your decision to refuse a male friendship? Just trying to understand to better reply to this blanket statement.

It's possible (possible because I don't know enough about you and I'd like to assume the best always) but maybe your bias towards how you feel about befriending men has clouded your ability to see that other people feel differently about this exact situation? Not everyone feels so strongly to say they refuse to befriend an entire group or people.

[marish01]

"Ok that's up to you and I can't tell you how to live"
I didn't ask you to tell me how to live.
I only mentioned my example as a discussion for this topic.
I don't feel the necessity of having a male platonic friend. I only feel the need of having a male romantic partner who will also be my friend. Why would he be less than a friend?

[Friendlybro79]

I know you didn't ask me and it's ok to be nice to someone and establish a boundary that you don't have to ask someone to acknowledge to them what's right to at least say I respect your decision to be you. I don't care if you don't care that I acknowledge you.

I wanted to make it clear that I wasn't trying to make a point with the intent of trying to change your mind but rather discuss it further civilly.

Regardless you said you refuse to have male friends. That doesn't make it clear that you have an exception for one friendship with a male if it's a romantic relationship.

Since you asked the question, and many here have answered it, including myself, it's clear you just dont agree with the opinions of others and rather keep asking but why questions to anyone who gives you an answer. Enjoy your right to be you, defensive and argumentative when hearing opinions that differ from yours. I'm going to continue having a great day now. I hope you can too.

[marish01]

Such a long reply with nothing but defensive and dramatic content

[Friendlybro79]

Yes that's intentional. I try to explain myself well. Sometimes I am long winded lol. Seriously though have a great day and continued happiness.

[Caroline91]

Because those individuals who happen to be male and make it into my friend group are people that I have a lot in common with and love spending time with. And they do have a different frame of reference from my female friends that I very much appreciate. I grew up with just a big brother, no sisters, and his friends were always around the house, just like my girl friends were. I'm just very comfortable with guys of all ages. My husband and brother also have friends of the opposite sex. We include all of them in our larger friend group, too. The rule is that we don't have friends, of either sex, that the other partner doesn't know about. And, our marriage always takes precedence over anything or anyone else. It works for us.

[ZamerZ]

Because men have more to offer than being reduced to "just a romantic partner" in a committed relationship. We all have friends and want friends. We don't make that dependent on gender, we base it on interests, vibes, hobbies and combability. You seem to view interpersonal heteronormative relations as purely transactional in a sexual and romantic way - which sounds odd, I'm gonna be that person and point it out.

Your hypothetical scenario sounds like the perfect relationship would be wanting and being a partner who doesn't have a life outside of it, nobody needs anyone but each other. And that sounds unhealthy and like a good ride towards codependency.

[Darkchild25]

So you can avoid platforms such as these. Having. Friends of both sexes helps you be a more rounded and well adjusted person. You can see things from the view of the opposite sex.
And no not having your parents or siblings counts as they are too close to home. You need others of different backgrounds and life experience to add to your circle of people.
Only insecure people of people who have no faith or trust in their partner have problems with their partner having friends of the opposite sex. If that's ths case they shouldn't be with their partner. That person had a life before them. You don't just drop all your friends because you've got into a relationship. How would you feel if friends did that with you?
Friends are also part of your identity. That's how abusive relationships are made. By having the victim segregated, cut of from their friends... Sorry this issue annoys me.

[marish01]

I wouldn't date a man who has female friends in the first place. So why would I even need to ask him to drop his female friends?

[Darkchild25]

Well good luck with finding a man.

[Account]

What do you mean why would she need him? I have been friends with my best guy friend for more than a decade and nothing has happened.
I know that it might come as a shock to you and to many others here, but there is more to human beings than what is in between their legs.
If it came between choosing my friends or any partner, I would choose my friends because they have been in my life for a very long time and because they would never ask me to choose.

[marish01]

I know that it might come as a shock to you but having a romantic partner is more than just having sex with them.

[Account]

When did I even mention anything regarding sex with a romantic partner? If you choose a romantic partner before your lifelong friends that is your choice but don't ask all of us to do the same. To me friendship is more important than someone who might not even be a part of my life in the future

[Account]

Especially someone who asks me to choose driven by their selfishness while my friends would never ask me to choose.

[marish01]

"If you choose a romantic partner before your lifelong friends that is your choice but don't ask all of us to do the same."
I don't ask any of you anything.

[OlderAndWiser]

Have you ever had a male friend? If so, you wouldn't be asking this question.

Women view the world differently than men, and they respond differently. Having a female friend with whom I could discuss relationships gave me a different perspective and made me a better partner for my romantic interests. And I never felt any sexual tension or undercurrents with my female platonic friends.

[marish01]

I had good repationships with my classmates but not anymore when we were teens

[marish01]

You could fullfill that aspect with your girlfriend not platonic girlfriends

[OlderAndWiser]

I have talked with a female friend about my current relationship and I got what I think was good advice. My girlfriend has a very different perspective when talking about our relationship.

Are you afraid that if you have a boyfriend and he has platonic female friends, that he will eventually have sex with them?

[marish01]

No, that has never crossed my mind.
It is just not masculine of a man to need a female friend. I like when men have male friends.

[OlderAndWiser]

Real men drive pickup trucks, too. . . right?

I understand that some people may have that notion but I think it is based on a very artificial idea of what constitutes masculinity.

[marish01]

I can't be attracted to a man who has a female friend.

[OlderAndWiser]

Okay, but that doesn't mean there is something wrong with a guy who has a female platonic friend. Physically, you may not be "my type" but that doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. . . right? And there is nothing wrong with me for having "a type."

[AviatorTom]

A male friend can be very helpful in a relationship. He can give you a different view on things. Let's say you and your man have an argument. A male friend can sometimes give you a better understanding if why your man might be angry.

And let's say you want to throw a surprise party for yiur man. A male friend can keep him busy, and get him to the party at just the right time. There's more that a male friend can bring... just like a female friend can.

[marish01]

See?
The friend of the opposite sex is used for sticking his nose into the relationship of a man and a woman.

[midnightmoon05]

I read some of the correspondences.. I understand and agree with that they should not have an opposite close best friend once they have established a romantic serious relationship… the new couple should be friend with the friend respectfully…

that’s how it worked out with my situation.. it was never an issue.

[RebelinSteel]

I have friends that are girls, it works really well, we can be very open and honest with each other as there is no ulterior motive. Whereas when there is a relationship etc, there is the potential of not being very open and honest, you may not actually lie but you may sugar coat the answer.

[DishLady]

You just happen to have a few friends prior to this guy who is now in your life. You shouldn't have to give up all your friends just to satisfy the so/boyfriend who should trust and respect you as part of your relationship.

[marish01]

Why should there be need for still having male friends when you have a boyfriend?

[Staximus]

So a woman is supposed to just stop being friends with guys that she's known most of her life once she's in a relationship? That's stupid. There's plenty of girls I've been friends with for over 30 years. I'm not going to stop being friends with them if I get into a relationship. I'm not going to hang out one on one with them, though.

[marish01]

What does still being friends with them while married mean?
Hanging out with them while your wife is at home?
Talking to them about your sex life with your life?

[Staximus]

It means if a female friend calls me and says group of my friends wants to hang out, I'm going to hang out. If I have a wife or girlfriend, I'll bring her with me if she wants to go. I'm respectful enough that I'm not going to hang out with one girl by myself if I'm in a relationship. I didn't talk about my sex life with my female friends or most of my male friends. I'm a little old fashioned in that respect.

[Miristheiss]

No tespect for husband.

Still needs male attention and validation.

Still wants to keep sliver of single life still active.

[Nikki1989]

Friends are friends. What does gender have to do with it?

[marish01]

So why male friends then?

[loveslongnails]

Why NOT male friends?

[loveslongnails]

Hmm, let's see. Friendship and conversation? A different male perspective besides her romantic partner? Perhaps an activity she enjoys that her romantic partner does not enjoy - something as simple as cards or board games?

[LiamS95]

She may of had a very close platonic male friend that she knew for years before even getting into a romantic relationship with a different man. It's hard to give up close friends that know you well and that you know well.

[FunkyMonkee]

FRIENDSHIP!! What's so bloody awful about having male friends just because you happen to be married? Marriage is a RELATIONSHIP!! NOT a prison sentence!!

[Grond21]

It's not about 'need' in this case. I think you can be friends but you have to have a high level of emotional maturity and very clear boundaries. Most people cannot achieve that, or have no wish to.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

Maybe because their boyfriend also have girl best friends on the side.

[marish01]

Just for that? Lol

[AliceGregory]

There are just some things romantic relationships can’t give us that friendships can (and that’s true of boys and girls).

[marish01]

For example what can a male friend give that a boyfriend can't

[slatyb]

Perspective. It's no different than talking with women.

[4ngelic]

the same reason why she'd want more than one female friend

[Amandanator]

Many women like soaking up as many male orbiters as they can. It’s kind of a power thing. Not me but a lot of others do it.

[Peridot25]

If a guy has male friends, he’s gay. Just saying 🤷‍♀️

[marish01]

Are you drunk?

[Peridot25]

Well, I’m at work. I wish I was 😂