Should women stop believing when men compliment them?

[Sweetbrunette305]

Should women stop beliving when men compliment them?

I've been reading a lot of comments of women saying men only give them compliments because they have sexual intentions. And started to notice they're actually right. It just crushes someone's self-esteem.

[blueonblack22]

Have you ever considered the following issues?

• It’s maybe possible for a man to compliment a woman and have no ill intent other then to say something genuine and/or boost a woman’s self esteem?
• Women put a lot of effort into their appearances often hoping to be noticed (only if it’s by the right man at the right time of course).
• Men are sent mixed messages in society to be “assertive” with women and communicate their thoughts?
• More ten of then not the man has no idea if: the woman is taken is having a bad day and most importantly of all has no idea if she likes him or not? He’s often expected to “read” her mind?
• Male attention actually is extremely important to many women via evolutionary purposed (and it’s often subconscious). There was a time in history where a woman’s viability was tied to her attractiveness to men (she could attract higher quality men if she was attractive). So compliments and attention help affirm her self esteem even more. And men know that and some will compliment women even if they aren’t interested just to boost their day?

Personally I found myself complimenting women less and less over the years out of paranoia of being labeled “a creep”. The whole #metoo movement really drove that divide even further.

Also countless women have taken to posting selfies and suggestive pics of themselves on social media to get the “safe” sugar high of virtual likes and comments from random men. I also believe even some of the OF models out there are partially motivated by the attention they get and it isn’t just all about money.

Yes true creeps exist out there. I don’t like them any more then you do. But most often women are slandering otherwise decent guys who are just oblivious to how the woman really feels. Maybe women can do a better job at remaining calm in those situations vs. always assuming the worst.

I realize that takes mental effort. But I also takes men mental effort (and courage) to judge whether or not a compliment is appropriate or not. It’s a two way street.

[Flatmanlewis]

Articulate and well-made point.

[blueonblack22]

@Flatmanlewis thanks. What’s sad about this question is a 45 year old woman posted this question. I could see a 25 year old woman asking this stupid question but not a 45 year old woman?

[Sweetbrunette305]

I'm not 45. When I was making an account I messed up and now I can't fix it to my correct DOB

[blueonblack22]

@Sweetbrunette305 even if you are 19 everything I said above still stands.

And again I am not making excuses for truly creepy men. Never denied there existence.

But women can’t have it BOTH ways. Many of them really do crave attention and validation from men. They won’t admit but it’s true. But unfortunately social media has created this artificial crutch for them when it comes to that. Posting a selfie and getting hundreds of likes and compliments is a good enough “sugar high”. But that’s empty calories. Those are mostly random men. And women usually post that out of insecurity and the need to be validated.

Do you know there was a time not too long ago where man could tell his neighbor (respectfully) that he has “very lovely and beautiful daughters” and the neighbor wouldn’t automatically think the worst of him?

There was a time where an unattractive man could say hello to a woman he just met and say “you are beautiful young lady” and she would see in his body language he meant no harm and even though she wasn’t attracted to him she could respect that as a innocent compliment?

Pay attention to the details of the man who delivers the compliment. Watch his body language, how he delivers the compliment, etc. I’m not saying be naive because there are unfortunately bad guys out there. But CONTEXT matters. Details matter.

Guys are hearing women complain about this and it’s having a very negative impact. Many women WANT a man to compliment them but he’s afraid too because of the creep label. I know I’ve gotten more paranoid over the years.

[Flatmanlewis]

This topic came up (because of this question) and one of the younger women at work said it was because her generation was so self entitled and self absorbed that they wanted “sterilized compliments” now. All the warm & fuzzy feeling of being told by as many men as possible how attractive and desirable they are and none of the inconvenience of having to actually interact with a man. She said she’s disgusted by her generation self-absorbed egos and shuns social media now as a result.

[blueonblack22]

@Flatmanlewis there has been a growing minority of intelligent women out there who are waking up to all this insanity. They are realizing women are making THEMSELVES unhappy. They are self sabotaging themselves. They are getting what they “say” they want and it’s making them miserable.

And I think that sadly the only way all this bullshit is going to change. Obviously “modern” women don’t care what men really think so they have to find out the hard way on this. But they are harming men in the process and guys have to work hard at not getting bitter and disillusioned ourselves.

But there is some hope out there.

[ManOnFire]

If a guy is complimenting you all the time, then it's very likely that he's hoping to date you more than sleep with you. Men who compliment you in flirtatious ways are trying to sleep with you. Guys who are complimenting you in passing here and there are doing just that, they're being nice. It's really nothing to overthink.

If women would learn to take men at face value more and stop being predispositioned to believing all our objectives are sexual, they would gain more understanding about us and have more peace of mind. Men are the ones who are more real and straight-forward, women are the ones with more of a dishonest nature who say one thing and do another, so we should be given more credit for our realness. Even if you don't like it, at least we're being honest.

[4ngelic]

depends on the compliments and the context. if the compliments happen when a dude is trying to rizz you up, they could be fake. if it's in other settings, it's probs likely to be honest. like outside of trying to hit on you, guys tend to be honest with compliments unlike girls who give a lot of fake compliments

[SugarSugarplum]

Some men. Somewhere in the annals (I said ANNALS) of history, men discovered (through experimentation) that "What's wrong with your face?" did not work.

Perplexed, they entered their labs and eventually came back with "Lookin' good, Babe!" and "How you doin'?"

[Sweetbrunette305]

😅😅😅

[BrassRaven]

No, because not all men do have those comments based off of sexyal desires.

I for one am not really attracted to people in a normal aspect. I am more attracted to tattoos and their personalities. But I am strictly into women. However. Knowing that I am very turned on by GOOD INKWORK. if I look at the beautiful crisp lines on another dudes legs, see how bright and vibrant the work is. I am not going to look at this dude a d be like, yo boy then some sexy legs get over and bend over! Lol I am just complimenting how beautiful that persons art is.

[Anonymous]

See what you're doing there. Shifting blame! That's your problem. Rather than wondering if you should stop believing men why don't you try using your head. That is allowed you know. Should a man blame a gold digger for being a gold diggers? No! A gold digger job is to dig gold. That doesn't mean he has to believe anything about the gold digger. If a man b****ed about being taken by a gold digger I would say to him, "where's your brain". If you use it you don't get got. That's all there is to it.

[Flatmanlewis]

I have routinely offer polite compliments to men and women alike. I generally like to compliment people about their sense of style or taste, but if complimenting a woman I would only do so if the thing I am complimenting is something traditionally non-sexual. Her smile, hair, nails, etc. I generally avoid comments about her figure or specifics such as legs, butt, or chest.

[HawkPerception]

I compliment attractive girls even if I have no sexual intentions. I've seen a lady employee at a mall wearing a vibrant yellow dress as I was shopping and loved her smile, and I complimented her on that and she said I made her day. I had no intention of getting with her, but it genuinely makes me feel good to make others happy.

Women that have no class will reject compliments and brush them off, assuming they're fake or with questionable intentions.

[PointlessNonsenseGuy]

You should believe when men compliment you, but you should be aware that they're probably only mentioning how pretty you are because they want to plow you.

But the compliment is probably sincere, because if you weren't pretty, they wouldn't want to plow you. Or at least not as much.

[CrabCakes11]

It depends on the compliment. Is a guy saying something generic like something stupid about your eyes, or a specific, non sexual compliment about your choices or accomplishments?

[Sweetbrunette305]

Nope! Just the same old, same old "you're beautiful" and a bunch of flirty emojis

[CrabCakes11]

Sounds pretty generic and lazy

[ohmyguy]

Believe what ever you feel seems for you to be the case


I only compliment persons who I genuinely think pays some attention to what's said by me..

It sucks if we get brushed off as if we don't list as a desired qualified complimentor from else whos pleasantries your pandering too

[RingOfFire]

I don't think it crushes a (normal) woman's self esteem when a guy offers a compliment motivated by sexual attraction. There is nothing women like more than to be considered sexually desirable to men.

[Sweetbrunette305]

Makes a lot of sense!! Maybe it's noy that bad? 🤔

[RingOfFire]

👍
...

[Apple1996]

Men will fuck a dead body so their compliments towards women don't mean much especially if they are sexual

[MysteriousDarkness]

@Apple1996
Prove that all guts are into Necrophilia and that our compliments never mean much.

[Apple1996]

@MysteriousDarkness never said all

[MysteriousDarkness]

@Apple1996
You also didn't say there are men, some men, many men, most men etc

[Apple1996]

@MysteriousDarkness many men don't get the opportunity to fuck a dead body. If it was a more available option then who knows how many would acutally be doing it. Probably a good bit

[Reign_Sova]

You’re sick

[Lynx122]

Well a guy out of your league will compliment you sleep with you and move on. A guy on your level who likes you will also compliment you. So it's up to you to figure out which is which. I thought you'd figure that out by now.

[LiamJHayden]

If it is a lady I do not know, I will compliment and walk away. My only intention is to hopefully give her a lift-me-up.

[Sweetbrunette305]

As long as it's sincere

[Nikki1989]

“Most men will always say what they think the woman wants to hear.”

Nothing truer has never been said.

[Flatmanlewis]

The woman who’s opinion they care about, that is.

[WhitneySnow]

Not all guys are like that. Some of them reallly mean it when they give you a compliment.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I've been complimented only a few times by men, and I know none of them were sexual. It was just a friendly thing.

[DishLady]

I mean... yes and no. SOME of it is just fluff and some of it is sincere. You should be able to tell the difference.

[soe11]

• You can not say or no, have to examine first genuine or not.

[ProbablyClueless]

Stop? When did y'all ever start? I can't tell you how many times I've tried complimenting women who immediately tried to turn my compliment into some kind of personal attack against them.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

With or without compliments, a woman should always believe she's beautiful. 😊

[PapaJedi]

u are

[Sharkstealth]

I told a girl the other day that she was very cute. I wasn't lying.

[Unit1]

So you just found out, men want sex. Is that really a grand discovery for you? At 45 years you should know and its quite long overdue.

[Sweetbrunette305]

First of all I'm not 45. Second, I expect a guy to be honest. We don't want fake compliments and love bombing. Is that too much to ask?

[Unit1]

No
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