Is it disrespectful to show up at a formal wedding in jeans?

[Anonymous]

Yes, if the invite suggested formal attire, guests need to respect that or not come

No, regardless of a dress code, guests should be able to come as they are

[WindAtMyBack]

This is two questions with two different answers.

Is it disrespectful to wear jeans? Not to my wedding. I would want YOU at my wedding. If you wear jeans all the time, then that is who I want. I would know that ahead of time. I would probably tell you "don't dress up.".

But answer A was "if the invite suggested formal attire". If the invite wanted formal attire, then you should try to do what they want at THEIR wedding. If you are totally not the dress-up type, can you at least compromise a little?

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Depends on the crowd and how charismatic you are.

I’ve seen people show up in very nice looking jeans like the ones Ralph Lauren sells for $90+ I’ve seen similar ones from Calvin Klein priced at around $130 but that was pre pandemic and their materials aren’t usually going to have that premium aura that you need to wear jeans to a wedding.

going to a wedding in $18 jeans you got at target is probably going to get some people talking about you.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

The most important part is that you look real good in those jeans

[dustybiker2]

Did they still have the tag attached?

[Telekinetic-Potato]

@dustybiker2 lol I was gonna add in not to wear high fashion jeans.

Clean, plain, extenuates the contours of the legs without being skin tight, hangs without being baggy. Almost exactly like in the picture.

Maaaayyyybee if you were into the sort of hippie vibe, you could get away with the bracelet hanging from the belt loop thing but for the love of god, don’t go to a wedding in purple or subi jeans

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Unless of course you’re at Steven Tyler’s wedding

[dustybiker2]

lol
They usually write details and threats on the invite... if one actually gets an invite. Crashers be damned.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

@dustybiker2 ya I think it’s a know your audience type of thing. Obviously it’s risky and therefore not for everyone. There’s just too many ways it could and probably will go wrong.

[dustybiker2]

Wrong with lots of witnesses. 🕶️

[Telekinetic-Potato]

@dustybiker2 Ahaha

[GeminiDiamond]

If it's a formal wedding, ofc that is disrespectful to the bride and groom, especially if your a groomsman or bridesmaid, and they are all wearing the same thing but you... in the jeans and halter top, or jeans and a sports coat. Unless you want to be the one making a fashion statement that day.

[WhitneySnow]

I mean, you can do it, but if the invite says formal attire it would be rude to show up in jeans. If it bothers you that much you can always skip the wedding.

[DishLady]

Yeah it is technically not considered respectful to attend a formal event in informal attire (especially at a wedding where you typically only know a few people). My friend was getting married last summer -- he's a really handsome guy and we're all happy for him bc it took an OODLE of crazy chick stories before he found this particular girl (who is also on the crazy side in my opinion, but at least relatively tame compared to the loonytunes he's dated for the 15 years I've known him). Anyway... the day of the wedding, though he called his one cousin up a million times and even bought the kid a tux... the kid showed up in jeans and the tux top because of some ironing issue with the pants... The bride's face when she saw the kid... I'll say was daunting, even to me. The kid ended up sitting at my table (one down from the bridal party) so he wouldn't have to get the stink eye from her the rest of the day. My goodness.

Another wedding I attended -- AMAZING venue way out in TX -- we were required to wear eastern outfits to suit the ceremony and the happy couple's wishes. Can I tell you? The event was amazing and it was so sweet for everyone to take the effort to be united spiritually and conceptually in that moment. The attire was a meaningful part of that, particularly for the couple who didn't have many family here... People flew in from all over the country for them... all over the world... It was really something...

In other words, if an invite specifically says "Formal Black Tie" or has some other instruction about attire, then try to stick with that out of respect for the bride and groom and those who took the time to organize the event. They obviously want to see YOU at their wedding, but they also have a pricey photographer to capture all the memories, etc. etc.

[Flatmanlewis]

It’s disrespectful because it shifts the conversation from “their wishes” to “my opinion”. It’s not whether you can justify it or not or whether it’s “you being you” it’s about they are making a day of memories, pictures, and sharing a moment in a way they envisioned it. If you care about them enough to be invited then you should car enough to help them have their moment.


Respect their vision more than your jeans.

[Darkchild25]

Weddings invites are usually sent months in advance. You had time to plan. They did. And I'm sure they put a lot of effort into their special day, surely if not for yourself for them you should honour them but making the effort. You're apart of their day also.. ... Unless it's a themed wedding on a farm

[Asker]

I just do not understand why people think its okay to ignore the dress code for the very reasons you state. Every invite I've ever gotten has been given 2+ months in advance. I think people who just show up in whatever make it about them, and not the couple. There is a reason they want you there, and invited you, but also why they wanted a dress code, so yes, absolutely respect that.

[Darkchild25]

💯 %

[dustybiker2]

I think you are old enough to know social graces and that jeans are not considered formal.
If you're wanting to pull the card of "Be glad I turned up at all". No, not at all. But that's a personal opinion, not permission.

[Asker]

First of all, I HAVE never disrespected a wedding dress code. Don't just assume all questions are about the asker, and second this is the very sentiment I find appalling. Just showing up any which way "because you can," is ridiculous. You can respect a work dress code, a church dress code, even a dress code that says no shirt no shoes no service, but they can't respect a friend or family member asking months in advance?

[dustybiker2]

Feel better? lol You asker a question. People answer it. If you want next time add more details so you don't have to get so defensive.

[dustybiker2]

*asked

[MisterWack]

It is disrespectful if it is against the dress code of the wedding since it goes against the bride & groom’s wishes which is disrespectful however if it is merely suggested and you asked the bride/groom if it is allowed then sure go nuts.

[Asker]

My sister in law had this dress code: "formal, but come as you are." Don't know if she regretted that or not, because some people were in a prom dress and some were in shorts.

[MisterWack]

if you don’t know if she regretted that or not, you could ask her… If they all had a great time at their once in a lifetime magical moment then I don’t see an issue.

[MrDaveAPSI]

If the bride says you are supposed to show up in formal, you show up in formal. If she says you show up in casual. you show up in casual

ITS HER DAY, she gets to choose what she'd like people to wear

My cousins wedding in October, is really casual. So we don't need to be in our formal wear. I hate weddings anyway

[TommyMountainFigure]

Look up the word 'formal' with regard to a wedding, and you will see what the correct attire should be..
but to answer your question, I wouldn't turn up in jeans, even to a registry office wedding!

[Bricealan]

A wedding is a 'formal affair' from the start... anyone should know better than to show up in jeans... maybe in West Virginia, or Birmingham, Alabama is okay with that.

[MrOracle]

There is a time and place for various types of clothing, and weddings are often places where formal attire is expected if not required.

[AviatorTom]

That shows disrespect for the couple. Even designer jeans should not be worn to a formal wedding.

[OlderAndWiser]

If it's too much trouble to dress appropriately. . . just stay home!

[AmandaYVR]

12 people so far think it's fine?

No way. Respect the occasion, and the people.

[HawkPerception]

Unless the dress code specifically calls for you to wear jeans, yes... it is disrespectful. Formal attire unless specified otherwise.

[spartan55]

Hell yeah it is. Unless it was specifically in the dress code etc.

[PeachyBluebeary]

Yes I feel like it is disrespectful but you could also just ask them

[Emmytexrex]

It is you don't have to look casual because if you look casual then it's like your were forced to come to the weeding

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I think it depends on the type of wedding?

[exitseven]

No, the important part is that you showed up. Showed up and brought a gift

[DrPepper12]

WTF? Of course its not ok! Whats next sweatpants to funerals?

[Nikki1989]

Depends on the type of wedding. Not all weddings require formal dress.