Have you ever been "disowned" or kicked out by a parent or stepparent?

[smahala1991]

Three years ago, as of Sunday, I was excommunicated by my stepmom, stepsiblings, and my dad. Because I had hoarding issues, I started to be closer to my mom who gave me up at a young age due to drug issues and being young, and pretty much just was never raised by or around them because my paternal grandparents took custody and adopted me when I was just a kid. I lived with them for 7 years after my grandma died and my grandpa went to live with my aunt in South Carolina. I tried to common bond with them over stuff like music, racing, and other stuff, but every time I did my siblings would say something like "That's my thing, I don't share my fandoms...", and here I am thinking that you can like the same stuff as others, that's how you from common bonds and friends. All I wanted was the same love my grandparents showed me from them. I was like "I'm their son, sibling, stepson. They should love me just as much even though I was not raised with them, they have the same last name that's all that matters" Am I the asshole here?

[V_Injector]

Yes... before I read your wall of text, I'm gonna tell my story.

Mom was fucking drunk and went drunk driving somewhere, came back, and couldn't find her beer and cigarettes. Naturally, I get accused of stealing it for no reason and get kicked out of the trailer home into the cold... Stepdad said I could sleep in his car. I look in her car and what do I see? her beer and cigarettes locked in her car. So I knock and tell her I found her beer and cigarettes... and promptly get accused of planting them in her car to cover my ass... somehow in her locked car... I must've done that in her infinite wisdom.

Now I'll read your story.

Read it... people... what can I say.

The more people I have to deal with just raises the amount of bullshit I might run into... and it's no different for you. Your situations pre-exposed you to that possibility.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

If you’re a hoarder like you say, it’s no wonder they kicked you out. They set boundaries with you because they might be aware that whatever caused you to hoard in the first place hasn’t gone away or gotten under control yet. They’re allowed to do that. You’re also allowed to be sad that no one in your family wants to connect with you. Their feelings are just as valid as yours, and they are also valid in saying “I can’t live with you.” Because of how living with you used to be stressful on them. No idea if you still hoard, doesn’t really change anything. What’s done is done. It’s hard to let go but sometimes it’s the only thing you can do.

[jennifer_bloom]

Obviously, you’re not a villain for wanting a relationship with your extended family. The sad reality is, not everyone does what they were designed or called to do.

I have a cousin who lives almost walking distance to my house that has hated me for the last 17 years. I don’t think we’ve had a single conversation during this time even though she used to visit every week to hang out with my mom. I think she is mentally challenged for being too dumb to talk to me for even 30 seconds a month while telling her parents and everyone she knows that she hates me.

I believe my mom pretended to be nice to her because she wanted my cousin to take care of her instead of me when she was old and too weak to care for herself. My mother is extremely abusive towards my dad and abused me for 20 years when I was a child, and she knows I love strangers on the street more than I love her.

[JustinTheGreat]

You’re not an asshole. You’re allowed to be sad that they don’t want to communicate with you. Has the hoarding gotten under control? If it isn’t an issue anymore, then I don’t see why they wouldn’t want to reconnect.

my dad and I didn’t talk for years. He was abusive to me as a kid. He was super ashamed of me because I wasn’t the most masculine kid ever. I think he genuinely thought he could just beat the gay out of me lol.
It got worse when I was a teen because I started to actually fight back.
One time we got into a really bad fight when I was 15 or 16 and he was just like “you’re no longer my son. Leave.” So I did and then we didn’t talk to each other for a few years.

We talk now, he’s apologized and he’s a lot more accepting. we’re still not super close though. I see him maybe a few times a year

[strangeatcircleK]

I thankfully have not been. But I know what it's like to be at contention with the family. Your views and choices are not theirs and they are all too happy to let you know that. Mostly that involves taking a stance but unfortunately sometimes that's them using power by things they control. Sometimes it is worth taking control by making choices you can control. I love the thought of the serenity prayer
"God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference"

[silvermoon84]

No, but I disowned my father a long time ago. He abandoned me, my half sister and both our moms for alcohol a long time ago. He hasn’t been in my life since I was an infant. He tried to connect with me over Facebook a few years ago, but when I saw the message request I blocked the fuck out of him. He didn’t want to be around when I was a baby, so I don’t want him around now.

[hahahmm]

No. More like when I announced that I was saving up to move out my rent was suddenly raised over $1k (back when you could rent a small 3 bedroom luxury home for that much in our area). My dad let my mom collect rent... and later I found out she never handed him any of the money so they came to me saying they needed extra money to pay house utilities bills and for food. Stuff they never needed before. So all of this motivated me to get out QUICK.

[FunkyMonkee]

Yes. In the dad of winter early `89, dad kicked me out for some stupid reason. No matter what I did to please him it was never good enough for him.
At another point, his sister saw the very short shorts I was wearing and said that she was going to disown me if I didn't change.

[ButtNakedMan]

Sheez. I thought about John Wick when you said excommunicado. I think there is nothing so serious enough to do that to you besides finding out your a serial killer or have been raping the chickens and sheep. Family isn't what it used to be.

[DrPepper12]

Sorry about that origin story. As a rx tescher I've seen parents kivk their kids out for drugs or being gay. its a shitty situation for all

[msc545]

No, you are not the asshole. They are.

[Cutegirl06]

No never!!

[OddBeMe]

No by I disowned my parents last year.

[NathanDavis]

nope

[Fireguy17]

Nope.