Moving to a new state with my fiance, I'm an only child, and my family is upset?

[MistQueen23]

So to start I'm 31f, been with my fiance 10 years. He got a job in another state about 5 hours from my family, he starts in July. His family lives in CA and other states, we live in AL now in my hometown where we met. I don't really want to move to the new state, but he's going to get a really good job with good benefits. My mother doesn't care about any of that and is just upset and freaking out. I'm an only child and really close with my mom. We hang out every or every other weekend. The thing is it's 5 hours away and my fiance will have free flight benefits and I can be home in an hour or less whenever. I just don't know what to do or say to her to make this ok. Anyone with experience in this type of situation?

Thanks!

[Danny_dan92]

Your family needs to come to terms with the fact that at some point they’re gonna have to accept the fact that you are an adult and will carve your own path in life, make your own decisions. This is no different.




Tell them to suck it up and let bigons be bigons.

[BetaBucks]

Sounds like they should follow you if they are that concerned. You're starting a life. They're retiring. Your decisions matter 100x more. They can go to you.

[Anonymous]

What if it’s him she’s worried about most and not so much the move? I mean 10 years and you’re only a fiancé, something contributed to that, maybe something you aren’t able to see but as your mom, she can.

[MistQueen23]

I don't know. She's always said she likes my fiance. We both just wanted to get our careers settled before marriage.

[Opinion Owner]

Liking him in general vs being a man your daughter wants to move away with are different things. Sure, it could be her coddling you and not wanting you to leave the nest, that assumption is totally fair. However, it gives me the vibe that you’ll be so far away that she can’t keep an eye on him, or be there for you directly. You don’t have any connections out there either aside from him. I don't know, I guess I’m trying to see if there can be a bigger picture than her just being stubborn about you leaving. It sounds like there’s some true concern on there.

[slatyb]

They will get over it. Best wishes to you. I do wonder why you aren't already married if you've been engaged for a while.

[ravagesavage]

Who cares about them, it's your life. They probably went through something similar to in their early life, but besides that... You're in your 30s and they trying to have a say in your life?

[Makeushiver]

Culture shock. I live in SF and ah think it's one of tje. most beautiful places in the world top 3 IMJO Paris, Istanbul, S. F.

[slatyb]

I love in Seattle and I think it beats San Francisco for beauty. Snow-capped mountains east and west, plus Mt. Rainier on clear days, two lakes, and Puget Sound.

[MrDaveAPSI]

i don't want marriage, i don't want kids, and i don't want to move out of state. i want to be near my parents

[Pterodon]

Well that’s called progress