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I've had several situations so far and actually don't want those not noticing to get used to it like having fun insulting me or such.
2 d
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well, the only thing you can do is control your own reaction to it, not theirs. i'd just talk to them about it. but do it in a way where you're not directly blaming them, you're just expressing how you feel and telling them how they made you feel from your perspective. sometimes, people are not aware of their actions/words or what kind of impact it had on you. this often comes with misunderstandings too. you'll have to ask them how it is from their perspective
but if this continues on a regular basis, remember to set boundaries with this person who never thinks they did anything wrong. because they can easily overstep them with that kind of attitude. don't tolerate it if this continues
You have left out some relevant info here that makes it hard to answer your post. Are you in grade school? Is this a group of friends? Is this a WORK situation?
The first thing you have to ask yourself is: am I blowing this out of proportion? It's possible you're finding offense where it wasn't intended. I do this all the time.
If you're not, and there really is some kind of offense going on, then you have to ask yourself: Is this criticism justified? Are you doing something that justifies their ire? Are you screwing up in some way where you have earned the "offense"?
If it's not THAT, then ask yourself if it's just good natured ribbing. If it is, that just means they are comfortable enough around you to have a laugh at your expense. If you want to stop it, then take whoever it is aside and mention that it actually hurts you when they talk like that. If it continues, it might be time to avoid that person as much as possible.
I have had work experiences where people were actively trying to undermine me, like telling everyone I missed deadlines, or lost computer files when it wasn't true. These people are actually enemies who want your downfall.
I also had a situation where I worked in a computer lab and my neighbor found out I am a Christian, and instead of saying F*** and SH*T, started saying Jesus Christ over and over. I did manage to take her aside and tell her how hurtful that was, and she stopped it immediately.
I, usually after much debating with myself, point it out to them. Confrontation stresses me out (as I’m sure it does many people) so I think on it for a while and if I confront people about a behavior, it’s after a lot of mental debate and/or a lot of me seeing if what they did was a one time thing or if they keep doing it.
For example, I had a friend who would often volunteer me to do things without asking me first if I was ok with it. At first I was apprehensive about talking to them about how I really didn’t appreciate that, but eventually I had enough and told them something along the lines of, ‘hey I really don’t appreciate you volunteering me to do things for other people without asking me first.’ After a few times of reminding them that I was not ok with it, I got through to them (before y’all come for that friend, she has a learning disability so it takes some patience to deal with her. She’s actually very sweet). I have had to confront people about similar things like volunteering me to drive or volunteering my house for people to meet up at without talking to me first and making sure that’s ok. It gets easier the more you do it. In my experience, so long as you remain polite when confronting them, most people will too.
If you want to change the world and have the power to do it- then punish them with lack of privilege and go on to share your gifts and power/success (es) with others who will in turn appreciate.
If you’re just trying to live your life to the best of your ability, then you care too much about what they’re all about, and you need to continue focusing on your own life and that enjoyment and in turn, simply ignore them and if necessary disassociate/ disconnect with them. Cut off the ties and interaction (s).
But by all means don’t continue to sweat over your own self with their bad and poor behavior living rent free in YOUR mind.
-Best to you 💯
I’ve experienced similar by the way and have struggled with it for a long time, so I shared this from experience and it was authentically genuine. 💯
I learned this early in life: you can’t blame people for doing what’s in their nature.
meaning if someone’s a crook, don’t expect their morality to exactly work the way you expect it to.
if someone you know has no self control, don’t be surprised when they cheat or get fat.
don’t be surprised when your friend who is rude to their parents doesn’t always show you proper respect.
keep the knowledge in your back pocket, keep paying attention and understand what you can and can’t expect from that person
Neither of these guys are qualified to be President. Biden is unsteady and feeble. Trump is obese and takes so much Adderall he speaks "word salad" and makes no sense most of the time. Both of them are in mental decline, obviously.
However, anyone trying to make a case for one over based on mental acuity and ALL the available evidence supporting the "lack thereof", should seriously be wondering about their own mental acuity! The Orange Haired blubbering Shit Turd sandwich is somehow more mentally adept than the Grey Haired Giant Douchebag? Not a chance.
People always know. They just pretend not to know. How I respond depends on the details. There isn't a one sized fit all response, in my opinion. But at the end of the day, I have boundaries and when people cross my boundaries there's consequences. USUALLY I make people aware of my boundaries when they first cross the line or before. But there's situations where there's no need for chit chat or it's more fun (to me) to just mess with them HARD.
The issue with her was that this same night when I arrived, a friend standing around her had made a joke of my age, and we all laughed. Later on this woman's close friend who visited her had happened to ask me for my age. Then this woman suddenly broke out with "he's so damn old" and as expected, nobody laughed. This friend having joked before had told her she went too far (the first time she tried joking on me and failed) and all she did was trying to defend herself with "I'm upset because my stomach hurts". I was about to say something, but since I had such issues with my little sister, I learned to "protect" such women from my response, even though this could mean ending up depressed about what happened. And tonight is the second night avoiding her, also because her best friend who had already decided to tell her when she went too far in his case had not been around. I don't know if I should let him know what she insulted me with, because when she did so with another friend, calling him a virgin loser, he justified her words with "never mind, she doesn't mean it" though this friend told her that he felt hurt. The second time she insulted him the same way, I overheard her best friend telling her it was wrong and that she's a similar loser (studying computer science and gaming all day), and she started defending herself with "I'm a woman". At some point I wished for this woman to finally get that she's about to chase away the only friends she has around college (while she told us she doesn't really have friends in her home town). But again, I fear hurting her like I happened to do with my little sister back then. Should I still protect her and whatever is left from this friendship, or should I make use of this occasion and try to make her stop this?
They do not always know, that is a lie.
@scooogy You could say rude things to her face about herself... give her the level of respect she's earned. She would quickly learn to leave you alone. See, in the old days it wasn't that men were nice to all women. We were only nice to ladies. Being a lady meant she was respectful. No free lunches in life. Your other option is to ignore her 1000% and not even ever say anything to any of your mutual friends about it.
@scooogy Personally, I'd go with option #. I'd have fun with it.
You point out what they did wrong and why. What consequences it has and have them clean up after themselves so they know not to do it again.
Last night I talked to a friend who witnessed that scene, and while he had talked to an older guy about what he did wrong after being rude to another student again, he told me that he hadn't talked to the young woman because as I figured out myself during my break from her, she is under quite some influence by her friends from home.
After convincing myself to approach the young woman last night (while her friend was standing right next to her, they were letting us guests in) her friend asked "are you sure you're still a student, sir?" (because of me being 32 already while they are still 19) and the young woman just let her talk and after she put on my paper bracelet for the night, she leaned over to her friend and told her in a friendly but serious tone that students get identified by their student's ID (made me feel protected from who really seemed ageist of the two). I actually planned to talk to the young woman's best friend for advice before I got there, but I gotta tell him it's alright again. It might be her age, but she apparently has to learn some kind of independence (regarding social skills and respect).
So the best way to deal with them is to have a sit down — a serious discussion about what’s bugging you and your expectation. Remain clear and logical about it so the other person doesn’t just get defensive and storm off.
You'll have to be more specific. What you're describing happens constantly... all the fucking time. I literally do not have enough time nor energy in my life to deal with even 10% of the incompetent shit people cluelessly do even in my presence.
At best they don’t realize they are doing it. At worse they are bullies and if that’s the case you have two options: hit them back or completely disassociate with them.
I handle male bullies a lot easier than female ones. Douchebag women got a societal built-in cushion when they antagonize men. They can conveniently act “threatened” when they are dealing with a man who is just calling out her bs. I hate that.
I don't know it's never happen to me. People only notice when I do something wrong. They never seem to notice when I do something right.
Like that stock photo, that sit down and outnumbered 2 to 1 "deep chat" stern lol 😆🤣 savages lol lecturers lol 😆🤣
Not well, I hold grudges. If they said something wrong 2 me I would say "y do/did u do that then?
In business: bill them more for the hassle.
Away from business: avoid them altogether.
You tell them about it