Is there anyway to make people see how stupid their decisions are?

[19magic]

So my nan in her 70s met a guy 3 years older than me, online a month ago. Has only visited him once. Then said he's going to move in with her next month and that we (several members of the family, her son, her sisters), don't know what we're talking about when we say he's probably trying to scam you. As he brought her stuff, and he's a super nice guy, she met his parents and his sister and he brought gifts for the kids (my siblings both teens and my little one) so there's no possible way he's scamming her.

She also has a bad habit of jumping heart first into relationships and has ended up burnt - sometimes in normal ways, other times in terrible ways, dozens of times. It's part of the reason I am the way I am, after hearing about 10+ relationships she's had it made me want to be smarter.

Is there anyway to break the love sick spell, I fear this is going to end with her being bankrupt and even if by some chance this is genuine, moving in together after chatting for two months and only meeting once just spells disaster.

[CrazyGirl2]

You cannot convince someone that what their hearts want is wrong! The best way to let her know that he is going to scam her, is to prove he has scammed people in the past. (if he is a scammer, I doubt that he just started with your grandmother!) Before approaching your grandmother, gather concrete evidence or examples that suggest the young man might not have genuine intentions. This could include inconsistencies in his stories, concerns raised by others, or any financial requests he might have made.

If she seems receptive, educate her about common tactics used in scams targeting older individuals, such as financial exploitation, emotional manipulation, or isolation from friends and family. Let her know that you're there to support her no matter what, and offer to help her verify information or seek advice from a trusted financial advisor or counselor. If possible, involve other family members or friends whom your grandmother trusts. Sometimes hearing concerns from multiple sources can reinforce the seriousness of the situation.

Hire a private investigator to perform a complete and thorough legal, familial, financial, and employment investigation on this man. If he’s 30, then he was born in 1994, now you just need his birthday (for your family birthday calendar, of course.) and give his full name and date of birth to a private investigator. If there is no record of fraud in his past… then maybe he really does love her. There are plenty of men with older women kinks. Perhaps he is merely one of them? ¯\_(ッ)_/¯

Ultimately, you need to respect your grandmother's autonomy and decisions, even if she doesn't immediately agree with you and your concerns. It may take time for her to process the information and make her own decisions that are best for her.
Approaching sensitive topics like this requires patience and empathy. Your goal should be to protect your grandmother's well-being, while respecting her autonomy and dignity as an adult with more life experience than you.

Good luck, and I truly hope that if he does turn out to me a scammer, and not just a freak with an old-lady kink, that you can get through to her, and make her understand, without alienating the nan you love and admire.

Sincerely, Laura. 🤗 🥰

[hahahmm]

If your nan is built like a smoking hot 30s-40s, it could be 'love' as us men define it when we're young. ha ha ha ha.

Find a male relative who has backbone & isn't a modern day wimp with soy milk leaking from his nipples. Tell him the situation. He'll know what to do. Then it's out of your hands.

[Still-alive]

thats one of those things they have to work out themselves. you can tell them all you want but they have to be the ones to truly get it. Sounds like she has bad introspection skills to realize her bad decision making. i'd just let her go. try to live your own life.

[NathanDavis]

time usually does that...

the great denominator...

https://www.youtube.com/embed/foMwW-e7dmY

@Account

[Account]

https://youtu.be/mzxkIVVtVI4?si=zU4sPc7rk5taR1f_

And things need.. they need time
And time leads to other things, and playing roles which are limited, by the poor fund of knowledge, in this sick, sick world.

... Once in a while, escaping the law of the unexplained pains

@NathanDavis

[bowenw]

So far I've never been able to make people see the error of their ways, so I just keep my mouth shut now.

[Iron_Man]

You’ll have to tell each and every one of these people what they’ve done

[eagle1951]

they usually find out on there own

[19magic]

Yeah but by then they'll have their card details stolen and bank accounts closed.

[Staximus]

Have somebody scary tell him to get lost

[Nice222]

Unfortunately no.