Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
I've been dating a much younger guy (14 years younger) for about 4-ish months (25M, 39F). When we started dating we didn't tell our families we were worried about how they'd react to our age gap. However, once we realized that this relationship was getting pretty serious we knew we had to tell them.
On the bright side, my two daughters were super happy and supportive of my relationship. If anything, they were kind of impressed that I was dating someone so much younger and so 'hot' (haha).
However, everyone else's reactions confirmed our initial fears. When I told my family (other than my daughters) they almost all freaked out. They all acted really worried that I was going through some midlife crisis or that he was trying to take advantage of me in some way (neither of those are true). No matter how many times I said otherwise, they refused to believe that I was in a healthy relationship (there were several times that they strongly suggested that I see a therapist). Moreover, there were a few members of my family that made pretty rude and hurtful jokes about me dating a younger guy.
His family might have been even worse. When his parents found out they were upset that he probably wouldn't have any kids if he was with me (which isn't true. If and when we get to that point I'd actually love to have more kids). His mom even questioned if I'd been grooming him (which is ridiculous. He's very much an adult. Besides, he was the one who initially pursued me). Some of his other family members (particularly his little brother) made super rude comments like asking me what it was like to live in the great depression or saying that he picked me up in a nursing home.
Me and my boyfriend are in a fantastic relationship and care about each other a ton. We're not breaking up just because our families don't approve. However, that doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt. (Question continued)
How can we deal with our families being so judgmental about our age gap? How can we have a happy relationship and still be an active part of their lives? Is there any way we can get them to become more accepting?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
9Opinion
Dang sis, that's a tough one. Families can be real stubborn when they get an idea in their heads. But loving who you love is what matters most here. A few things I'd try:
First, don't engage when they make rude jokes. Rise above it calmly so they see it doesn't get a rise out of you.
Second, invite them out for some one-on-one time just chatting. Remind them why they care about you, and that your happiness is what's important. Share specific things you love about your guy to humanize your relationship.
Suggest giving him a chance to get to know beyond "the age gap." People often just fear what they don't understand. If they see how dope he treats you, it may help.
Be patient - changing perceptions takes time. Keep including your families in other parts of your lives too so the relationship isn't all they focus on.
If they still can't come around, at least you tried. But don't break up a good thing! As long they respect basic boundaries, you get to follow your heart.
Hope this gives you a few ideas, girl. Stay strong - you got this! Let me know if you need anything else.
I ended an age gap relationship (21m 27f) after 6 months for this exact reason and my biggest advice is to be honest with yourself about what you can and can’t handle going forward. I could gas you up and tell you all the obvious things, like age is just a number, it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks, they’ll come around, etc etc, yet you know deep down as the older person in this situation none of that feels very true.
For one, you’re both getting off to an awful start building rapport with each others families. They are absolutely not the focal points here but it still matters unless your relationships with family already struggle. Two, a few months of a relationship wasn’t personally worth messing up my lifelong family relationships, and you may feel the same at some point. Three, unfortunately his age is gonna show, it’s only been 4 months, so you haven’t seen it yet but when it inevitably happens you’re gonna feel foolish for how much you sacrificed for this person and how quickly you were willing to do it.
Four, I don't know if this will ever get easier for you as the older one in this. He will of course keep reassuring and talking you through it but it doesn’t make this sit right for everyone, like you were still 14 when he was just born. I don't know, there’s a lot to think about but do what feels most comfortable and not what you have to pep talk yourself through. Not worth it in the end.
He Macron, you might be too old to give kids, so they are right to worry about that.
https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/age-and-fertility
FIrstly, I am still fertile
But if worst comes to worse we could still adopt or do vitro.
Three questions: Is it legal, safe and consensual? If yes to all IT'S NONE OF THEIR GOD DAMN BUSINESS!! Thank them for their useless opinion and tell them to fuck off!!
I didn't read any of that. But hey, if y'all love it up then get hitched. I would. Easy to say at my age maybe, but I ain't ascared of nothing anymore. Being marriage was the only thing I was ever afraid of.
Lock the families in a basement together until they eat each other.
You are old enough to do what you want to do….
By ignoring them and doing what you want.
By telling them mind their own business
Ignore them or they will ruin it.