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I've heard mixed opinions. I think saying they're the same might be too black and white. I'm not sure.
2 d
Is emotionally unavailable the same as just not into you?
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"Emotionally unavailable" means that someone has unresolved feelings, usually about their last relationship, that would prevent them from being receptive to a relationship with you. . . it wouldn't work now.
"Not into you" means they aren't physically attracted or there is some other immediate and obvious deal breaker. . . it would never work.
I think both of them rectify the same emotions on both sides, however they are different by definition. Emotionally unavailability does not mean not into you but also not being into someone can cause emotion availability
Well said, that's where it can be confusing.
Cause emotional unavailability I mean at the end lol
I think it is different but is also basically the same thing. Like a guy who is emotionally unavailable will not date anyone seriously but doesn't mind hurting everyone. But I also feel if the right person came along they wouldn't pass it up either. I once talked to a guy, I knew him for years and we had a crush on each other. Anyways everything was good we talked everyday he told me he loved me all the time for 3 months then he started doing annoying shit like flirting with girls posting nudes and liking and following hoes which would cause fights, he would say stuff like "Why do you even care about these girls when you look how you do?" Then he lost one of his jobs and he started "I'm not emotionally available right now" and "I'm not sure I am looking looking for a girlfriend rn but I will never leave you". He continued to tell me "Goodnight I love you" everyday. Basically I think he kind of liked me, but he wanted to hoe around and find someone better, that's all it is. I say never wait around on some idiots back burner he isn't worth anything especially your time.
Sorry you went through that. Either way it's Def not a good sign and shows fear of commitment even if they're into you. Some fear being close to others afraid they'll get hurt, while others just keep you around because you make them feel good but they mightnt be sure you're the one? It's definitely not clear always why people do that but it's quite traumatic to go through
Absolutely. I just place them basically as the same thing now, if he can't be emotionally available to you then he doesn't care if he loses you. Guys who say they like me is fine, but I never take it seriously anymore.
Yes action over words 💯
But when I told the emotionally unavailable guy I needed space he reacted badly and seems upset now. However he could just be a manipulator.
Could be manipulation, you never know with these guys lol.. Just don't focus on it too much, place yourself first always. If he is really into you he won't go anywhere, so just play it cool and keep your own mental health first.
He was dramatic and abruptly left our group chat. He said he would leave me alone. It feels over the top. I just stated I needed peace and I care for him. This is more about him I think then anyone else but I won't cave into his guilt tripping ugh 😩
Yeah he is just being immature, I'm glad you aren't giving into what he wants.
I don't think so. Emotionally unavailable means that someone is not ready to commit to the level that their partner wants them to. But this will happen no matter who they're dating. They might just be young and don't want to settle down or the responsibilities of a relationship scare them or they just don't want to be pressured into anything etc.
Not into you means they won't commit to you but if someone else who they liked more came along they might want to be with them long term. So they could be available but just not to you.
I'm dealing with it rn. A guy who's clearly into me but said he's emotionally unavailable. It hurt a lot and I said I needed space. now he's over reacting to that and is mad at me.
No. Some guys are REALLY INTO a girl and WANT to be with her but are emotionally hung up on something (either stressed in general, still overcoming a bad relationship, or shut off/quiet in general). These guys are capable of a sweet gesture or two but feel emotional detachment they struggle with for one of many reasons (too many to list here).
By contrast, a guy who is not into you will find a way to blow you off either right when you meet or right after you hop into bed with him.
I'm not sure what to do if I said I needed space after he told me he's emotionally unavailable. He said he'd leave me alone and then left our group chat. He seemed upset and mad.
He’s not… he’s not good at the whole feelings thing…. Just move on with your life, kiddo. Some guys just aren’t able to be “the one” and that’s ok.
Yeah true. Not fair when you are the one doing all the emotional labour. 😭You're right. I'll try move on 💕
Nah... that's definitely not the same thing. It's usually more like "I think you're awesome and attractive, but I have personal baggage that I haven't worked passed and I would need to get passed that stuff to feel comfortable dating you."
Then should you move on? Told him I needed space and he got pretty mad and upset. I need it because he said he's emotionally unavailable which hurt obviously
Moving on isn't always that simple. And sometimes the thing you need to move on from is a lot bigger than a single failed relationship.
No, I don't think being emotionally unavailable to be the same as not being into someone. Some people, for particular psychological reasons, seem unable to express, or even feel emotions. Oddly enough that doesn't mean not to be into someone. Everything happens subconsciously. There is a genuine interest in the other person for whatever unaware reasons, but at the same time an inability to feel and express the hidden and repressed but nevertheless present emotions. A shrink may help clarify the situation ;0)
Being emotionally unavailable means the person is focusing on themself, and is unavailable to start a relationship, whereas a person that is not into another person means, the are available for a relationship, just not with that particular person.
Absolutely is. If someone's dream partner shows up in front of their face and tells them they're attracted to them it's highly unlikely they would say "sorry I'm just emotionally unavailable right now".
They're trying to be nice, but really it's just a backhanded way of saying "I'm not into you."
Weirdly I know one guy who was shown his dream woman but he was not emotionally available and has trauma. I only know one case of this I'd say it's quite rare? I don't know
She also blocked him and he deeply regrets it. He is still not over her
That dude is gonna live with regret for the rest of his life and to be fair, he kinda deserves it if he says no to his dream girl.
I would say that scenario is extremely rare.
Yes he has never gotten over her, and she's married. 😬 It is rare. But now he's not available for anyone, too much trauma.
It's a triggered mental state, no? It means they shouldn't be in a relationship. They should be taking time to work on whatever is making them unstable. It's not healthy for the person who is putting effort in to stick around.
I would say no but it should be a red flag, since a person says that tells you that won't fully commit to the relationship. The relationship won't be healthy with this fundament but a situation where you give and spend more than they do.
I'm somewhere between "NO" and "Depends" on this. Because I was told I was emotionally unavailable when I was younger. That simply was not true. I didn't always know best how to express what I felt. I've come along way in this department. But I still struggle with both sharing and concern for being judged for what I share. Less is more with people a lot of times because the wrong word can be a bullet. A bullet that you can't take back.
different, not "into you" is available for others
Not always. Some people. esp. guys can be shy about their emotions. Doesn't mean he doesn't feel them.
Can you first clearly define exactly what is "Emotionally available" mean?
Are you expecting him to act like a woman with high levels of intelligence, or do you just want some specific kind of commutation or support?
No. I can be into her, but I am emotionally somewhat like a Vulcan.
No, emotionally unavailable means they are immature
Not into you is a choice. Emotionally unavailable is a mental condition.
Some people just aren't able to express emotions to anyone
No, it just means leave me alone for now, I'm not in my full mental capability to talk to you at the moment. We can talk later, just not right now