You have young women with literally 100s/1000s of men at their disposable. What’s the point?
As a result if you want a pretty girl. You have to be very handsome and/or very rich. To draw attention, but I don’t like doing this. I wanna act and appear like a normal guy.
How is it that women can receive a disproportionate amount of attention and relatively attractive guys get zero? I myself have always been single.
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Only you can decide if it's worth it. But let me be straight with you: if you want to date, don't expect the process to be fast, easy, or fair. You are competing with a ton of other guys for the SMALL percentage of single women who don't live on social media and who prioritize morals and values over looks, popularity, and status.
This kind of girl doesn't have much of a social life and mostly works and goes home. You might get very lucky and bump into one at the grocery store or the movie theater or a restaurant, but not often enough for that to be a strategy.
To have any real chance, you need to grow new circles of friends, and THAT likely means that you will start having to get involved in some coed social activities - a sport, a cooking class, a pool/billiard hall, a car club, etc. You probably won't meet the girl this way directly, though you might. But you will build new circles of friends, and eventually you will do other activities with those people and their other friends, and that's where you will likely meet some quality women.
Yes, it's a big investment, and it's not for everyone, but if you aren't a Chad and you want a quality girl, it's that or just hope for random luck, which isn't a viable strategy.
What a great answer! My husband and I met at a non profit organization. I was a volunteer and he was a consultant. We never even dated. After 4 years of working together we knew each other so well, we just got married
Too many people want to sit on their couch and browse for a relationship/spouse on their phone like they were ordering UberEats, and they don't think they should have to put in any more effort than that. But that's a lie sold to you by Match, Inc. who owns all the dating apps. It's not how the real world works. In the real world, you have to put in the work and time.
Agreed. And it can be sooo worth it!
Honestly yeah. This is pretty solid advice.
My biggest issue though is precisely that. I tend to be a guy that just gets home from work, feeling restless and just lounges on his couch. And I never go out on the weekends either cuz I usually just like to not do anything.
That being said though, there is a part of me that still desires the relationship component, but realistically that ain’t ever going to happen unless I make the changes though.
At the same time though, I know people in the world of dating and the general consensus tends to be that its hard to find dateworthy people these days.
So while I do like the idea of a soulmate, I am going to have to find actual hobbies I enjoy (besides just lounging on my phone) if I ever want there to be at least a 10% chance
@WhiteBoyChill You know what to do if you want that outcome, so the only question is: do you want that outcome enough to do what you need to do to get it? That's 100% up to you, and you can't blame anyone else if you don't get it.
@WhiteBoyChill Channel that restless feeling into getting out there and finding that soulmate you're so intrigued by. Maybe once you do, she'll come sit on the couch with you lol Or maybe you'll be wanting to do all kinds of things besides sit on the couch with her!
@Caroline91 Ideally yes.
But would I have to date like 30,000 women just to find one worth my time?
@WhiteBoyChill No, you wouldn't because it only takes one... the right one. My husband and I never even dated... we just got married.
@Caroline91 I don't know. I just find the prospects to be discouraging knowing how many other guys struggle with it
@WhiteBoyChill So, here's a story: Before I was married and still living with my parents and brother, I wanted to sell my car. I posted it all kinds of places, both on and off line. Disappointingly, I got not responses... Zero, Zilch, Nada. Mr brother told me it looked like I was just out of luck and since I hadn't had any replies after 5 days, I might as well take the post down. I told him No, I didn't need a lot of replies; I only needed one... the right one. So, next day, I get a phone call inquiring about the car. The guy likes what he hears and comes to look at the car. I had posted the price as Make Me an Offer. So, after test driving it, the guy likes the car. He asks me the price and I said Make me an offer. So he offers me $400 more than what I had thought I could get for it... lol... SOLD! You're the car...
if by dating you mean meeting a random woman via social media or a dating app, it's probably not. But if you are patient and willing to increase your social circle, your chances of success are greater. Be prepared even then to strike out most of the time due to incompatibility or other reasons. The reward is worth it, though- getting a girlfriend you have a genuine connection with is great.
You haven't had success with dating so you have created an excuse. Wouldn't you rather learn how to be successful with women?
Being successful with women as you put, it doesn't involve learning much of anything. Instead, it involves intrinsic factors such as height, wealth, and physical appearance. These are things that cannot be learned. To some extent they can be bought but the results are often less than satisfactory. Plastic surgery is not an exact science by any means and it is painful and expensive. It is difficult to acquire wealth by legitimate means in any reasonable time frame.
Accusing men who are not successful in dating of making excuses and somehow being lazy is simply cruel and victim blaming. If such men could do something about it that was reasonably attainable, they certainly would. The evidence is that they cannot.
@msc545 It's part of the just world hypothesis.
@msc545 I see lots of average guys dating, and they don't look rich.
Are anecdotes the best piece of evidence?
@Chthou95 Go down to the courthouse and watch all the couples applying for marriage licenses. Do you think that are all ether rich or look like movie stars. C'mon, man!
@OlderAndWiser How many do you think you would need to see for it to be a representative sample?
@msc545 It doesn't need to be a representative sample to refute the claims being made. However, I have fifty years of observations and I know what I see.
Ok, for you to be able to generalize your observations beyond the actual place, day, date, and time you made them along with a host of confounding variables, you would need to have a listener in the exact same situation (s) you were in when you make your observation (s). Obviously, that is neither practical nor feasible. Generalizing from N=1 (the 1 is you, the only observer) violates all the laws of probability I can think of at the moment. The takeaway from all this is this:
It does not matter what you saw or heard as it is not enough and can never be enough to conclude anything at all other than you saw some things. Thats it.
@msc545 You are stuck in a refereed journal mentality. The claim is that to get a girlfriend, "You have to be very handsome and/or very rich." That statement does not recognize exceptions or limitations, so one instance of a guy, who is average and not rich, with a girlfriend disproves the claim. And I've seen tons of couples in which the guy is neither rich not handsome. Go sit your ass in the mall Saturday afternoon and watch the couples stroll by. Yes, reality counts in my world.
@OlderAndWiser Anecdotal evidence is not in any way an indicator for a majority of the human population.
Most average guys never get the chance
@WhiteBoyChill So you believe that most guys never have a girlfriend?
In 2022, there were 131 million adult males in the US.
49 million had never been married
68 million were married
4 million were widowed
11 million were divorced
www.statista.com/.../
83 million guys were either married or had been married in the past. So where is this majority that can't get a girlfriend?
Most young American men are single. And there have been studies on it. amp.theguardian.com/.../young-men-relationships-study-week-in-patriarchy
You speak as if you have seen all the couples in the world, and that somehow counts. It does not.
How about the statement "you usually (but not always) have to be very handsome or rich". I concede that being handsome or rich is not ALWAYS necessary, but I contend that it mostly is, particularly if one is doing online dating.
@OlderAndWiser You are stuck with the idea that what you observe is an indicator of the way things are all over. It is not.
@msc545 Its like if I grew up in a village in Africa and never saw white people. That doesn’t mean they don’t exist just because I haven’t seen them.
Its the same deal with this guy. He lives in his echo chamber but doesn’t seem the full and complete picture
@OlderAndWiser Of course you don't have to be very handsome and/or very rich to get a girlfriend. However, the OP said, "if you want a pretty girl. You have to be very handsome and/or very rich." Especially in USA when most women are fat, there are not many pretty girls so the demand for pretty girls is exceptionally high.
I can’t say. I’ve been out of the dating game for 17 years. I can say this however; I hear from coworkers and they run from 21-60 and there was a seismic shift in dating culture with the rise of social media.
Women have a false sense of self-worth fueled by (literally) hundreds of men swiping on their dating photos and apps. They really feel like they have endless streams of male attention. The flip side of that is there are women unhappy with the endless stream of men who are playing a numbers game and liking every single woman out there in the hopes of some easy booty-calls. It’s a skewed market.
This is also why people who completely shun all social media for their dating life tend to be caring better. Meeting the girl at a friends social gathering, a martial arts gym, at an REI hiking class, or even through school & work IN PERSON still offers a lot of perks.
Again this is just what I overhear. I’m blessed to have landed a keeper long before social media turned dating on its head.
They may think they have many options, but in reality, that is only for casual sex. For a long term exclusive relationship, most women have very few options, and once they have a bad past, they will never be able to get a good man for the rest of their lives. It is just an illusion that they have many options for relationships. Most good quality men avoid promiscuous women that used their casual sex options so they are screwed for life.
Also, for men that aren't 6' + and strong, making lots of money, if they are decent looking (a 6 or better) and make enough money to survive and have a little spending money each month, there are plenty of options with foreign women in certain countries. Just, the lower quality he is, the lower quality of looks he can get in foreign countries.
It is best to think about what you bring to a relationship/have to offer a potential partner. Be realistic and honest with yourself. Compare yourself to others that you see in real life to find out where you stand, then you can figure out what quality/rating of a woman is close to your level. Then go find women like that. The difference is in many foreign countries, the man only needs to be one level higher than the woman in quality, where as in the USA, the man needs to be at least 3 levels higher than the woman because most western women are very delusional about what they can get. That is why so many get used for casual sex, but can never qualify for a good quality man for a lasting relationship.
It's not a reflection of degree of good looks and the checking and portfolio balance. I think the prize is going more towards someone who is capable of listening as part of a conversation and not spending the time she is talking to think about the next thing you want to say. When she is speaking, actively listen and try to be interested. Eventually men do listen but then feel the need to solve any problem she may have mentioned but really just wants to air it out with someone and be listened to, not have their problems solved. Depending on where you are eg. Wall St. or near any well known brokerage hangouts you should this. These I instructions should be memorized for ease of implimentation. You will need a bath towel, some high grade rubber bands (heavy duty) & the tightest pants you own. Roll bath towel into cylinder that has girth of 3.5-4.25 inches & around 18" long ( sideways). Roll op the towel and use rubber bands to secure to your thigh. (inside). This creates a bulge that is sure to win the most demanding of women. The way women sometimes feel like you are looking down their cleavage is a small percentage of how she will react to seeing what looks like a 4" around and 18" dick inside your pants. If she is obviously checking it out or is courageous enough to explicitly say, "Wow, that is some dick you have there" apologize & tell her that you forgot how revealing these pants were. Console her with a couple of comments like- Honey, it will get bigger when it's hard - I know it looks unimpressive until you. get turned on and then tell her, "at least when this doubles inside as it will should we find ourselves some quieter place with fewer people." Love to know how it goes.
I'm at an absolute loss to understand what the hell possessed you to write such an incredibly stupid crude post.
I am not (in my opinion) a good looking gu
y… I’m ok I guess. Absolutely not rich, but I have no problems getting girls.
Personality is very important. Kindness, will catch peoples attention. If you are shopping for a new girl in your life, where you shop is important.
Go to the places that interest you… if you see girls there then more then likely they will have the same interests. If you are not in the bar scene then don’t go looking there.
I’m telling you that girls do want security, love and respect. Give them what they want and you are in!
Yeeess!
Bullshit
Guys from all backgrounds date and get married, the last wedding I went to was for a guy that works in a village pub and also some work on one of local farms, he is low paid, normal and his girlfriend now wife is really pretty, he is however a fun and sociable person. It’s like guys that don’t have friends and complain they also can’t get a girlfriend, the reason they don’t have friends is often one of the reasons they don’t date. One of the first things is to quit moaning on social media and just learn how to be friends with girls, don’t push everything as it must be a date.
some of the responses to this question are hysterical, poor people date and marry, lower class date n marry, we have a high level of unemployment in certain areas, these still manage to date n marry, working class the same, middle class same etc.
Why do you lonely guys always expect pretty girls? Why is it a problem when they want an attractive guy but it's OK for you to expect them to be pretty?
That's hypocritical as fuck dude, so here's how it's gonna be. You have 3 options
1 Become attractive so you ATTRACT pretty women
2 lower your hypocritical, unrealistic, double standards and date a normal girl sense you want to stay a normal guy.
3 do neither and stay single forever, if you aren't willing to compromise you deserve to have no one by your side.
I've got three dates this week. I certainly hope so. I drive a 11 year old hatchback. I don't appear rich. I'm certainly not a burn victim in terms of attractiveness but I've not had anyone ask to paint me in well over a decade.
You get out of it what you put into it. If you're just trying the online thing... some areas that's a gold mine some areas it's a dumpster fire. As someone who has dated on multiple continents there is no magic bullet for that problem. You have to experiment.
It's absolutely not worth it. It is like going to a casino and being convinced or at least strongly hoping that you will win a jackpot. You normally come away having won almost nothing or actually losing money. You wind up, disappointed, angry and broke. With women, you wind up disappointed, angry and alone and possibly broke. With the casino, you may not win enough money to pay for gas to get home. With women you will never recover the money and time you spend trying to win her over. It's a losing game for losers. The only people that win at this game are the few men that are rich, good looking and tall. There aren't that many of them and the ones who are that way know who they are and don't have to spend a lot of time dating.
Don't forget the casino comps you drinks!
@BoopBoopBeep Indeed. It probably helps to be partially unconscious when you are dating or contemplating dating...
haha lower tolerance means more "tolerance"
@BoopBoopBeep Sadly it does...
It is worth it for men in the top 10% because they can attract pretty girls. Since below average and perhaps even average men cannot attract pretty girls for them it is not worth the effort. Since your are not desirable enough to attract pretty girls you should put your efforts into attracting fat and/or ugly girls. Like you that must settle for the less desirable.
Even fat ugly ones don't want them. Social media makes women who like Princess Fiona think they're 9 or 10
@Chthou95 Or that “Certified Baddie” lady who thinks she’s a 10
@Kelley1 This is great validation for a post I just wrote. The issue that he's going to run into is even tne fat ugly ones won't want him. Some nights I want a 10 other nights I'll take a 2. We'll once thar 2 gets banged by me, she thinks that that's the caliber of man she can get and will ignore the average guy waiting for HV men like me.
@Chthou95 It may be that bad for guys in the lower 50%; perhaps because fat and ugly girls would rather settle for a few one-night stands with attractive guys than to have a relationship with some simp like guy within her league.
@Vegasrunner That is very true, especially for younger women. They think they deserve the best guy that will f**k them and reject guy within their league that want to marry. However, around age 30, after dozens of one-night stands and/or a few going nowhere relationships, they finally decide they need a guy that will marry and not just f**k them.
Therefore, a 30 year old woman will look around and ask, "Where have all the nice guys gone?" Young women never ask that question. The men are still around but they want the sexy young thing she was at age 20; not some old hide that lost her bloom, and had a body counts well into the double digits.
@Kelley1 Agreed
Actually you don't have to be either handsome or rich. There are many very attractive young women who don't think they are all that. My wife wasn't exactly young when I met her, but she had never thought of herself as particularly attractive. Looking back at old pictures I see a girl who was stunning at 14 and in every picture since.
Nature designed dating to be a challenge for men so that the best ones will happily pull up in all the ways necessary. So yeah, if all you want is a pretty girl, being man pretty with deep pockets is the bare minimum. If you want a good woman who’s going to stick by your side, you need to be a helluva lot more.
@MzAsh Dating as pretty easy for men as long as they do the work. Most men have a longer shelf life of value. Women from about 18-26 are valuable and then start to decline, most men don't even begin to start having value until around 26 and we can maintain value pretty much until death provided we do the work. It's harder for younger guys because they haven't achieved anything yet
Bullshit, I am dating a girl currently that earns double than me and is quite pretty while I look average and its going well. I didn't even think she would be into me but here we are.
Just dont be an ass have some confidence and take care of your looks. And ofc if possible avoid dating apps they suck, I am happy I meet someone trough friends.
Listen I get feeling like that. Especially on tinder, no doubt women can use their power on there to hook up with Chad thundercock all the time and no one else, but take a step back.
Most Women don’t act like that irl. Sure some do, like some men whin and complain all the time about no girlfriend. But why would a normal women want to act like that? Get pumped and dumbed after 3 dates? Only on tinder and the clubs. Talk to normal women at work, at school, at events, they arnt going to be that shallow. Don’t even try to pick them up, it will improve your view on them. Once you have a better outlook it will be easier to get a girlfriend I promise…
It's attitude. I don't doubt you have your own personal tastes in woman, if you aren't getting them I also doubt you chase someone you find less appealing. Wear a positive and welcoming attitude when interacting with everyone. That attracts people. Nobody wants a sour face.
It’s not just about looks, but it’s about personality too. If you’re still struggling after a long time, you might have to lower your standards a bit to find somebody more compatible to you.
So then, why don't you help him along when it comes to personality?
Because everyone wants something different when it comes to personality, somebody might want someone who’s more social, and someone else might want somebody more reserved. I can’t read his mind to figure out what he truly wants.
Dating is about attraction, not specifically looks. It's just a matter of finding someone who is at the same speed as you.
Looks start it though so this dude could just be ugly
🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
@KrakenAttackin This isn’t me trynna play victim but its crazy realizing how ignorant they are of the reality of men
@WhiteBoyChill “they” tend to understand the “reality of men” if they make even a minimal effort. Can’t say the same for guys about gals… or about clueless tolls negging someone’s post….
You just made it sound like dating was an easy thing tho. Its not. Majority of guys I know that are actively dating struggle with it.
No, that’s not what I said at all. Though now I’m thinking about the looney toons ACME “instant girl” spoof (https://www. google. com/imgres? imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fstatic. wikia. nocookie. net%2Fcnas%2Fimages%2F3%2F32%2FACME_House_Instant_Girl. png%2Frevision%2Flatest%3Fcb%3D20230402014329&tbnid=4i3FhYV4rEYPlM&vet=1&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fcnas. fandom. com%2Fwiki%2FACME_Product_Database&docid=iRzUQxQ-ez4zXM&w=1440&h=1080&hl=en-us&source=sh%2Fx%2Fim%2Fm4%2F3&kgs=0ef37a743503fc7d&shem=abme%2Ctrie)….
The cheap superficial hookup is usually more about looks. Folks looking for something deeper usually look a bit past that towards questions of actual compatibility and substantial attraction. No one is saying it’s easy….
(Aww, the link was mutilated by g@g… too bad, it’s funny.)
You'll have to deepen and widen your search.. because rare women are hard to find. ;)
Search where? Can't approach any woman randomly. We would be in trouble someday.
@mayurr you just approached me now, you surely can do that to other girls also. :)
Online? Here?
Let's see..