Dating
2 d

How do I deal with the feeling that I ruined my chances to potentially be with a great guy?

I say potentially because I'm only 80% sure he liked me but the signs were there. I've started falling for my coworker after we had some great conversations and I realized he's basically male version of me but when I sense someone's getting too close my first instinct is to flee. Also the fact that I didn't really want to get involved in an office romance played some role in it so I tried to distance myself and basically started ignoring him (avoided eye-contact and interacted with him only when it came to work-related stuff).
Ever since I started doing so, I noticed his behavior also shifted (which I considered to be mission successful) but now he doesn't seem to bother to have even a quick friendly chat and I've honestly begun missing our conversations and goofy interactions. I'm aware it's my own doing and it may seem like I was playing some mind games with him but all I ever wanted was for things to not get too far.

Anyway we don't see each other much now because my shifts have changed and our office got divided. I spent a lot of time thinking about this and I actually like him even more now but I know damage has been done and this potential ship has sailed so I don't think it'd be right from me to show interest in him now when I acted so coldly and that's why I need help/advice on how to deal with this situation. Do I keep acting as If nothing has happened and just go with whatever dynamics we have now or should I pull him aside and try to get his point of view?

I'd like to add that I'm demisexual which means I have to form emotional connection first therefore I don't fall for people easily (I'm 29 and had 2 boyfriends only) and I rarely get crushes which makes me feel even worse. I'm kind of beating myself for this because I wish I could have communicate things better or thought more about my behavior and how it's going to impact him. It's been few months but with each passing month I feel even more shitty about this situation

How do I deal with the feeling that I ruined my chances to potentially be with a great guy?
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