What would you do in this situation and how do I get over this?

[ZainabAli123]

Hey you see I am in an issue well problem. In my family I’m the sort of girl no one wants or even looks at example my mums friends have always been interested in my sister can’t fault them for that she is beautiful.

Anyways I grew up with no one wanting me which is true they didn’t but than at 18 I came across a friend of mine (we will call him Dee). Me and Dee would talk to each other a lot kind of became moral support for each other and before you know it I ended up having feelings for Dee. But he didn’t he wouldn’t care about my feelings and would would talk behind my back to his friends about me who’s all have a laugh about it.

I still tried to walk away from him but something kept pulling me back it got soo strong my feelings for that I wanted a future with this guy I thought he had changed!! I’m obviously a Muslim girl he’s full on Christian so he reads the bible and would sometimes argue with me about faith and would ask me to sleep with him even though I can’t.

I would pace in my room thinking on how to tell my parents about him cause he’s done it all you name it he’s done it from drugs to sex he’s done it all. So I knew I’d get a broken heart. One day we got into an argument about an ex girlfriend of his long story with that and we both decided it’s best if we take a break from one another couple of days later he’s telling me he’s had sex with a girl he had a crush on even though he knew how I felt about him. The worst is that he told me he would only date someone a girl based off her looks like if she’s super hot and good looking. That broken My heart my mum obviously knows I’m in love but she dosnt know tho the guy is and I’m not willing to tell her about him.

but I am finding myself crying every night and wondering if it’s my fault and could I have done better or tried harder at being pretty!!! What would you all have done. I have thought about running away with him even if my parents didn’t approve.

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh hun, I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like that guy Dee really messed with your feelings and didn't treat you with the respect you deserve. A few things:

1) Please don't blame yourself or think it's because of your looks. You are beautiful inside and out, and his issues have nothing to do with you.

2) Running away with him would be a big mistake - you'd only end up more hurt. He's shown you who he is - believe him.

3) Talk to your mom about what you're feeling, even if not all the details of him. Letting it all out could help give you clarity. I'm sure she just wants you to be happy.

4) Spend time with other friends and family who lift you up. Surround yourself with positive people right now.

5) Give yourself time to heal. Crying is good to get it all out, but also do nice things to distract yourself and start feeling better each day.

6) You deserve so much more than someone who treats you like an option or talks about you behind your back. When you're ready, the right guy will come along who appreciates you completely.

You've got this - stay strong in who you are. Feel free to message me if you need more support! You'll get through this.

[ZainabAli123]

My mum already knows I was in love with him she just didn’t know the type of person he is

[Oliverlogan263]

You're right, I'm sure your mom has some idea that you cared about this guy. But man, am I glad she doesn't know the full details of who he really is! She'd be so disappointed and furious to find out how he treated you.

And honestly, knowing the truth about him now would probably just upset her even more. Sometimes it's best to spare our parents that kind of stress and anger, you know?

At the end of the day, what matters most is that you're free from all the crap he put you through. Now you can heal and move forward without that weight dragging you down anymore. I know it still hurts, but each day will get a little easier I promise!

Try talking to your mom more if you're feeling down. She loves you so much and just wants you happy. Maybe talk about your hopes and dreams, focus on school/career goals - get your mind shifting to brighter things ahead. You've got this sis, stay strong and keep your chin up!

[es20490446e]

I have watched multiple people selecting which kinds of partners they liked to have on Tinder.

Then I realized that the preferences of people watching didn't match at all. What one guy finds ugly, the other finds attractive.

The moral is: it is easy to sell to a person that already wants what you have, than convincing them that they should.

Hence I have a rule for me: to give my energy only to people that REALLY enjoy it.