I met a guy on Instagram from a different state, who should travel first?

[Anonymous]

We’ve been talking for two months. He asked me if he wants me to go there or I want him to come here. I don’t want him to come to my state though. We FaceTime , he shares his routine with me and calls me almost everyday. I’m not desperate, I don’t like meeting guys online but I don’t know why my gut feeling is serious about this guy even though I can tell he has game. 😩 I met a guy who wanted something serious with me and he was 5 hours away and I never acted these way or even went there. He told me he could pay for my trip half because we don’t know each other but I feel for my safety I’m the one whose need to pay for everything in case something goes wrong. I’ve met people that lie even if they’re your neighbor like my ex in front of your face. I can’t believe I’m so skeptical and for him I really want to act right. 😩 he has a good job good family and what advice should I take before meeting him?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo girl, I feel you on being cautious about meeting someone online from far away. You gotta trust your gut but also proceed with care. A few thoughts:

- It's totally normal that he can't come to you since y'all don't really know each other yet. But going somewhere completely unfamiliar could be risky too.

- Maybe look for a mutual halfway point city you could meet in public, busy areas during day. Like a cafe, park, somewhere with other people around just in case.

- Ask friends or fam to have your location on Find My Friends app in the background for safety. And give em all his info just in case.

- Make sure someone knows where you're going and have check-ins set up. Meet for a few short meetups before being alone together.

- If you do go, pay your own way at first so you aren't dependent on him for anything. Drive separate too if you can. Don't go home with him right away.

- Keep getting to know him over video/calls too. Watch for red flags. If your gut says stop, don't dismiss it!

I know you really feel a connection, which is awesome. But take things slow sis, cover your bases, and don't compromise your safety ever. With some precautions a meeting could work, just be real careful, OK? Wishing you the best!

[Changiis07]

I say he should come to you and he should stay in a hot or airbnb. Nowadays anything can happen where they might act nice but have different plans for your safety have him come meet you at your state and meet up for coffee/dinner. Plus you don't want to invest too early if you barely know each other because you want to know what his intentions are, if he just wants to hook up or looking for a relationship but long distance usually doesn't work but that's up to you to explore just be careful

[DishLady]

Sometimes a past experience makes you nervous to start something new. I get it. And the LDR factor is always a little extra fragile, but your feelings for this new guy are strong and you’d like to explore something but you’re nervous about it.


You have to choose whether you’re going to him, if he’s coming to you, or if you’re going cut things because you’re just too nervous about it. Stop, take a day or two to think, and then have a talk with him to make your choice.

[lornakrys]

If you really feel like there might be something there, he should come to you but not to your house. Meet for coffee or dinner, or hang out at a park or go bowling, whatever. Pick something you both like that you can chill and do in public but also really talk ( so that's why not a movie) . Get to know him and go from there. That way you can be safe while also giving it a chance.

[Daniela1982]

Just remember, the Craig's List Killer was charming too. That is why he was able to kill so many women he met online.