Are you a split the check kind of dater?

[coachTanthony]

Yup

Nope

[HawkPerception]

I understand that most people over the age of 30-40 tend to be pretty hard set on "the man pays" because times were a bit more traditional when they were growing up and I respect that. I'm not saying my way is the right way, but it's what I believe in. Everyone has their own take on this and how it should go down.

Over the years I've 100% made up my mind on this matter. I don't believe in one person paying the bill. And I don't believe in splitting. I believe in paying for what you got yourself. It doesn't matter who asked who out, because 99% of the time, it's the guy that asks the girl out because girls prefer to be courted or approached and they're more likely to just give hints to the guy to ask them out. Anyone who says "Whoever asked someone out has to pay" is just saying that they think the man should pay. I strongly believe that men who say this just don't want to be judged badly by women, but they would low-key also like their date to put in some effort and at least pay their side.

If you go on a date with someone, it should mean that they're also interested in you, so why should you have to pay for them to be there? Is their time more valuable than your own? It made more sense back when women made a fraction of what men made, but now we have equal pay and the only difference in wage gaps across the board is the fields that males and females decide to pursue job-wise.

Paying separately also prevents the girl from getting a free meal if that's all she's there for and prevents the guy from feeling he's entitled to something in return. If the date wasn't the best and neither the guy, the girl, or both of them weren't feeling it, they can go home without feeling they lost anything.

Then there's my point of what a relationship is. It's a man and a woman in it together. If that's what you're seeking, then why would you not want to contribute? Do you want your partner to do everything for you and not try to pitch in, in any way? I would not apply a different standard to my potential partner for life, that I would to my best friend.

I'm not saying there aren't scenarios in which I would pay. If a girl is broke or struggling financially and I suggested a date at a restaurant, then I would pay, because again... that's the same standard I would have if I applied it to my best friend. But if she can afford it and it wouldn't break the bank, then she should pay her own bill.

One thing I would never do is let a girl foot the bill though. That is my cutoff. It's a tad bit emasculating to have a women pay the bill for me. But I truly respect a woman willing to pay her own bill.

I know there's a proven psychological studies that females are more attracted to men that pay the bill and I don't care if it reduces my chances of getting a date or keeping being in a relationship with them. I will stick to this my whole life. If they lose respect for me or trash talk me because of my view on this, then in my opinion... I just dodged a bullet.

[Alwayreckles93]

Typical millenial mommas boy.

[coachTanthony]

"It's a tad bit emasculating to have a women pay the bill for me."

Well now you know how it feels when a man expects to split a bill with a woman, it's a tad bit of a masculine role now that she has to play.

[HawkPerception]

@coachTanthony That's just how things are nowadays man. They fought for equal rights. If she goes into the date letting me know that she's a traditional women and she's wants to be a housewife and will handle all the cooking and cleaning and I make enough for the both of us, then I'd be happy to pay for the date and every bill that comes our way.

[Paul09]

@Alwayreckles93 Ok there Princess

[Paul09]

How is it emasculating? Get your head out of the 50s. Plenty of women make more than plenty of men. No need to treat every woman like a princess.

[Alwayreckles93]

@Paul09 Im no princess only Jesus Christ is our only king. I am justcachuld of Christ. I am very traditional equal rights its just something catholic woman invented not us christian woman.

[HawkPerception]

@Alwaysreckles93 Lol typical low IQ, entitled girl that couldn't process a thing I wrote and hates on it. Also speaks wonders that you're "god-fearing". I feel sorry for any man that's with you.

[Alwayreckles93]

HawkPerception. I can care less what yiu wrote since you are ab immature childish mommas boy. Now listen the world DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOUR USELESS MOMMY OKAY! Get that straight un your head. FYI not that my privet life is your concern but since you care so much to know about me FYI I am married to my wonderful Christian husband he is mature and has a lot of knowledge with the bible and life. I really enjoy listening ti his beautiful conversations he is 47 . Now that's all you need to know. Your insults doesn't surprise me that is just typical milenial men child immature behavior who still depends on mommy.

[Paul09]

@Alwayreckles93 OMFG you just explained everything just now. Now I understand why you think that way, because you were brainwashed to think that way. Sorry to burst your safe bubble, but Man created gods and religion period.

[HawkPerception]

@Alwaysreckles93 Not an ounce of logic in your words.

"Now listen the world DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOUR USELESS MOMMY OKAY!" Like did you even go to school? Ah yes... you were indoctrinated by a Christian school and taught more about religion than logic.

Also, nowhere did I imply that you weren't married. Almost like I couldn't make an educated guess by your profile picture with your kid that you're most likely married. I only said I feel sorry for any man that's with you.

You lack any sense of comprehension and I implore you not to teach your kids grammar, logic, or anything for that matter. I hope your lack of braincells doesn't rub off on them.

[Alwayreckles93]

HawkPerception Well yes I did gocto christian school which none of your business! You sinful worldly people jump straight to conclusions. I read my bible and serve the Lord and my wonderful husband he is the leader. Feel sorry for yourself youwill most likely marry a worldly unchristian woman who can't cook , clean and serve you as the men of the house hold you will most likely end up with a worldly femenist that lives a sinful life she will waste all of your money and get drunk and clubing all of that demonic stuff. Well I am not surprised you are possed by demons. You must be a disgraceful disgusting catholic not surprised.

[Alwayreckles93]

Anyways public school is useless.

[HawkPerception]

@Alwaysreckles93 Just stop 😂 You're making a fool of yourself 😂

[Alwayreckles93]

HawkPerception Your worldly useless mom and daddy did a hourble job at raising you with no christian standers.

[HawkPerception]

@Alwayreckles93 For someone claiming to be Christian, you sure aren't doing a good job of being one.

Christian teachings encourage believers to treat others with love, kindness, and respect. Insulting or demeaning others goes against the principles of Christian ethics. The Bible provides guidance on how Christians should interact with one another and with people in general.

One of the key teachings is found in the New Testament in the book of Matthew, where Jesus emphasizes the importance of love and treating others as you would like to be treated. This concept is often referred to as the Golden Rule:

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 7:12, NIV)

Additionally, the Bible contains numerous passages that speak against harmful speech, gossip, and insults. For example:

- Ephesians 4:29 (NIV): "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

- Colossians 4:6 (NIV): "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."

Insulting others is generally seen as inconsistent with the Christian call to love one another and promote peace. While Christians may disagree on various issues, the emphasis is placed on expressing differing opinions with gentleness and respect rather than resorting to insults or demeaning language.

In other words... you're pathetic 😂 Religious people I tell ya... no logic in them.

[Anemone978]

@Alwayreckles93 Why you putting down Catholics for as well? LOL Like what the hell is a christian? If not a protestant or a catholic? They have Catholic schools I have never heard of a christian school lol Do you even know your religion?

[Alwayreckles93]

@Anemone978 Troll

[Anemone978]

@Alwayreckles93 Whatever you say..

[Alwayreckles93]

HawkPerception Oh look who is talking the worldly dude. Okay what mommy told you that scripture.

[GoodManDave]

I am happy to treat her the first few times, if I'm asking a woman out. But if we're talking fourth date, then yeah... I would hope she would help out where she could. Like, let's say a movie. I'll get the tickets, she gets the concessions. Sporting event: I have the tickets, she handles parking...

If I'm on a much later date, and an emergency happens, then I don't mind paying if she forgot money or is low or funds; but again past date three, she should want to pay it back, or head up the next date (if whatever she needs is expensive.) SOMETHING.

If we lived together, and she made 35k, and I made 50k, then she should contribute something. Maybe we'd figure out percentages or something. I don't expect her to buy everything, especially if she doesn't earn as much as me. I'm ok paying more. But if she was just expecting me to pay for everything all the time, it'd be a short lived relationship.

Likewise, she should contribute with planning; show some effort past maybe "looking nice." If she and I are on a date as an actual couple... then she should want to plan something. If she's not planning anything herself, then I figure she's just not interested. Or she just is going for the free experience.

Now if I was spending $150 for the first date, then yeah, she should contribute something more than a tip (especially if she insisted on the restaurant), but I'd probably make her aware she should pay her way or something beforehand.

[Hawkes_Lady]

I voted, yup. Although, I really would have preferred an "other" option because I think it depends on the circumstances. I like a first date to be a coffee date or a drink in a bar where it is easy to talk and get to know one another. I am more than willing to pay my separate checks. For the second date again, I'd prefer for it to be low-key, a casual sit-down restaurant where we can again talk and get to know each other better, or maybe a food truck and people watch and get to know each other in a park. Again, more than willing to go separate checks.

But, after that... we've established that we have things in common and you ask me out for a third date I believe that the man should pay because, in reality, all women want to be courted. We want the gentleman we are with to pamper us. We want you to come to our door and surprise us with flowers. We want you to open our car door and the restaurant door. We want you to wrap your arm around us and make us feel special and protected. If it's cold we want you to put your jacket over our shoulders to keep us warm. We want you to walk us to the door to make sure we get inside our home safely. We want you to pluck up your courage and nervously kiss us good night.

Or at least I do. Maybe I was born in the wrong era.

[nastyb]

I do not split the check. I order separate check for the first date. When you have separate check, you are paying for what you ordered. If you are splitting you, are paying half of that expensive 100 dollar steak your date ordered.

I prefer to pay for myself during the first few dates. After we like each other, I expect the guy to want to pay for me. If he does not want to pay, usually it means he doesn't like me. A guy who truly likes a girl usually will want to pay.

I would consider it a red flag if a guy takes a girl out on a date and never offers to pay. It shows a lack of willingness to impress. If a guy doesn't feel the need to impress a girl on a first date, it means he doesn't care about the date.

[Light_beam]

It surprises me how women are all about equality and that there is no difference between men and women and yet when it comes to money? They gob back suddenly to the traditional gender roles as the man should pay and provide to the woman !! Being hypocrite and cheap as pure as it could ever be !!

[Light_beam]

go* back

[nastyb]

@Light_beam

because gender roles do exist.

studies show that it is always the mother that does all the housework, child rearing in the house even if she works a full time job.

[nastyb]

@Light_beam

when the baby is crying at night, who checks up on the baby? 90% of the time, it is the mom.

[nastyb]

baby is sick, who takes time off work to take care of baby? 95% of the time, it is the mother.

[Light_beam]

Gender roles do exist only when you want them to exist, period.
And i am talking about what women ask for and complain about all the time.. how could you ask for equality and yet want men to pay for you? Just because they are men !!

[nastyb]

@Light_beam

why would there be equality if children take on the last names of their father?

there is no such thing as equality

[Light_beam]

Good.. then you go back to be a house wife who obeys her husband all the time.. and the man will provide for you.. patriarchy..

[nastyb]

@Light_beam

patriarchy still exists...

we never had a female president.

[Light_beam]

Haha.. God! women are presidents in many countries..

[Light_beam]

But fine , if you will be a traditional woman and act like what is expected from one.. Then sure the man should provide and protect and do all the man stuff.. i think we agree

[nastyb]

@Light_beam

men can't even be adequate breadwinners, why should women need to be traditional women?

[Light_beam]

Lol you can always go for a rich guy.. i am sure you will have more than enough bread..

[nastyb]

@Light_beam

assholes like you can't even support your family and YET, you insist on a housewife.

[Light_beam]

I am not insisting and i support equality.. I am just surprised by your cheapness and hypocracy ! Why the dirty mouth? Can't you make your point in a decent way ! When you have nothing to say you just divert to insults..

[OlderAndWiser]

I can afford to pay for everything and that is what I have done my entire life. For my generation, that is what we do, and we never have any arguments or conflicts on that subject. And I don't recall ever feeling that a girl agreed to a date with me just so she could get a free dinner.

[SlightlyBurnedPizza]

How I would have loved to grow up in your time.

I will say though outside of westernised countries this is still very much the case, although you do need to actually have value as a man to land a quality woman, and there are plenty of them out there.

[Paul09]

But why do they deserve to be treated like a princess and get free meals? Are you above her? Are you better than her? Is it for free sex after? Does it make you feel manly or something? And "back then" a man could afford a house , card and a family, today nope. Everyone works , everyone should be treated equally. Stop making mord spoiled people in the world.

[OlderAndWiser]

I treat a woman like a queen because i expect to be treated like a king. My approach works well for me but i never said everyone else should follow my example. And telling me to stop doing what I’ve done for 68 years because you don’t like it. . . That’s not a very convincing argument.

[dynamicyandere]

I’ve always paid. It feels nice to be generous and to take care of everything for my date.


But, I also didn’t waste my time with people who weren’t a good fit for me.


So, if there are any red flags or just too many clashes in chemistry, I’m never afraid to walk away.

[dynamicyandere]

If they were a bad fit. I’d still pay for the date to be a gentleman. But, there just wouldn’t be a second date.

[AviatorTom]

When I was dating, I almost always paid. Occasionally, my date suggested we split the check, which was fine with me. And one time, she actually paid, which was a nice surprise.

[SlightlyBurnedPizza]

For me it 100% depends om the situation

-if a girl is a lot heavier or different then what I expected nobody is paying because the date is off, its the principle of being dishonest that I cannot stand.

-if I get the feeling she's there for a free meal, I ain't paying, I will sneak out to leave her with the bill.

-If she is on the phone the whole time I will offer to pay my share only and she should pay hers because she wasn't there with me.

-If she doesn't show any of the signs above I will 100% pay for everything, even if she doesn't like me and doesn't want to go out in the future or I'm not into her I will pay. If she has a different personality or different values/beliefs then I expected but still acted respectfully on a date I will pay.

[wolfcat87]

Fair reasoning

[wolfcat87]

Not a chance. I won't even consider dating a guy who wants me to pay on the first date or suggests one of those cheap cafe dates. Only men who are generous and enjoy sharing catch my attention. The rest get no date at all. Once they win me over I may pay for the occasional date to show I genuinely like them.

[Light_beam]

Lol you may like them but you like money more !

[wolfcat87]

@Light_beam Money's cool and all, but it's more knowing he's invested in me as a person. Men who act really invested usually are really invested. Cheap men have nothing to lose by walking away, because they were never that involved in the first place.

[Light_beam]

You are measuring your value to him by money?

[wolfcat87]

@Light_beam Sigh, no. It's not about the money. It's about effort, investment, and going the extra mile. A man could do that without money, but they rarely do at first.

[Light_beam]

fine , now i get you.. answer my question in the private message

[Anonymous]

Actually, I have old mindset where the guy should pay for the date, especially the main meal. I'm down to chipped in for desserts, but meal, come on.. I'm currently in 'relay' to which first few dates, he always pay and never let me pay at all, after that, we never do that and always split the bill, would I even call it a split actually, if we pay exactly only what we eat for, hence its not 50-50. I don't know, i somehow hate it soo much, it seems like one is too stingy. I hate myself for this as well

[DarkWinterNights]

For the first date it would be nice if the woman paid half or at least got the tip. With the amount of spoiled women complaining on TikTok about not being treated like royalty on a first date or complaining about the restaurant on a live stream trying to humiliate the guy, I’d ideally rather filter those types of girls out beforehand. But if she doesn’t at least offer it’s something to take note of.

[DopeTurtle]

I have a rule that : whoever asked whoever on the date/ dinner should be the one prepared to pay.


However! Even if my date is paying or willing to split it, I always prepare myself/ wallet to pay for everything just in case. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best type of thinking.

[Baublebar234]

I don’t believe in splitting the check at all when it comes to dating/marriage. Whoever is asking the person out, should pay for the bill.

[Baublebar234]

This can go for either gender. Not saying a man should pay every time. But if I want to treat my boyfriend or husband to a meal, that is 100% on me. No splitting checks at all. Either one or the other should pay.

[AmeerX]

Sounds like my type of girl 👍

[sage2021]

If he asked me out for dinner he should pay for it. I will gladly pay the tip, and now a days they're a lot of $$$

[IslaTheWitch]

I hate the feeling that I owe something or that I should repay somehow. Certainly not on the first few dates

[curious_gul]

No, actually Muslims don't face sush problem, because men must pay and provide even if the wife has a job, if she doesn't want to pay for anything she's not obliged, but the man MUST provide for his wife and kids, most Muslim women don't work because they are protected and taken good care of, so nothing to worry about 💕

[Billlewis]

Yes, ma'am, I just started following you and I'd be honored if you'd follow me as well, if that's alright. Thank you very much.

[Chandelier8]

I hate dealing with splitting checks, with anyone. I just find it incredibly awkward, in general. I usually say things like my treat, you can get it next time or whatever.

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

I don't have to worry about this these days, but when we were dating, I certainly paid the majority of the time. After we moved in together, it didn't really matter who paid.

[NathanDavis]

I'm a... doesn't matter which way... split, pay, I never ever had to make it about money

fortunately... never had an issue with this ever in my life

[Joshydavid25]

Nah, I just pull put my wallet and pay.. Although, there's been a couple of girls that didn't hesitate to pay..

[AnusNdaPainus]

No I would never

I have my pride as a man

but I don’t like women who expect me to pay

cause they won’t be grateful a and gratitude is the bare minimum a woman should give at the end of the first date

[Guido]

I have never split a check and I have always paid for both of us on a date, even if she insited otherwise. I never once considered letting a woman pay on a date. It's not who I am and it's not the way I was raised.

[JHAYES317]

For a first date I’ll generally pay assuming it’s inexpensive but then after that I’ll either expect Dutch or alternating who’s paying, no way am I paying for everything for anyone I’m dating unless we are married and they are a housewife taking care of kids.

[BCRanger10]

No. I always paid, at least for first dates.