Which one of these would you pick to date a person based on: money, looks, or personality?

[Wendysbitterapple]

Money

Looks

Personality

[Xoxocutekitty]

I picked money because, hear me out, I've never really dated the same personality twice, and I don't think I could go into a first date (or back on a second) knowing they reminded me of some else... If I meet someone and I like their personality I would 100% go for it, but it's realistically probably not the first metric I would use to screen potential suitors.

I really think any personality can be kind, caring, loyal, or funny, they just might express it in different ways or be into different hobbies and have different levels of extroversion. How well one comes to appreciate another's personality correlates to positive time spent together and whether both parties are acting in ways that exemplify shared values. This is something discovered WHILE dating, but not something to decide IF the first few dates are worthwhile, considering Its possible to have chemistry with many personalities.

Of course, if this question is more of a decision, as in whether or not to pick a partner after knowing personality/disposition (from several dates), then yes, 100% personality. I would not regularly date a guy with money and a terrible personality. I would also like to point out that "money" in my head is synonymous with "stable job with work-life balance." Having money does not mean he's raking in 6 figures, just that he has a regular job he doesn't hate and he enjoys doing leisure things with his partner (apple picking, going to the beach, getting a dinner out a couple times a month, going on a weekend vacation a couple times a year). This is not unreasonable.

[Unit1]

Your standard is that the boy does not have to live under the bridge or beg for money for food. That's fair enough.

[Katebfun]

Personality all the way. I date and like someone based on what I see in their heart and their intelligence. Looks and a man that can provide are important, but I need someone beyond superficial reasons like those. A man can be rich and attractive but he's not emotionally available, or his touch has no passion., or he has no sense of humor. There's so many possibilities!

[sawno]

Personality would give me the biggest head start, I don't need her money and looks are easy to see. I can walk across a central station and walk past hundreds of pretty girls i'd happily go on a date with if their personality fit mine.

My problem has always been that my taste in personality is not something commonly found. So I can't just see a pretty girl and know she's right for me when approaching.

[AviatorTom]

Initial attraction is always based on looks, but personality wins out in the end.

A man may have an initial date with an attractive woman, but if she doesn't have personality, there won't be a second date.

[Hawkes_Lady]

I don't care about money or looks, I just want someone that has good morals that treats everyone with respect and care. A man who tries to be a better person than he was the day before.

[TonyMetal___86]

A wise lady!

[Middleman]

@Hawkes_Lady,

Your choice sounds reasonable. So let me ask you a question. How do you convince someone who is like you to go out with me? Someone I know I’m currently talking to has lately been bogged down by work and is not in a mood to date ie. her returns on IM are short or posted late in the day. She says it is because she is busy and we both had various interruptions through the week so couldn’t get in touch the last 3 days. I want to convince her that I’m a good person. What do you suggest I should do/say?

[Hawkes_Lady]

@Middleman It's important to approach this situation with sensitivity and respect for the other person's feelings and priorities. Here are some ways to express your interest while respecting their current situation:

Express Understanding:
Begin the conversation by acknowledging her busy schedule and expressing understanding about the challenges she's facing at work. Show empathy for the demands on her time.

Be Supportive:
Let her know that you appreciate her dedication to her work and that you understand if she needs time to focus on her professional responsibilities.

Reassure Her:
Reassure her that you are interested in getting to know her, not just for dating but also as a person. Emphasize your willingness to adapt to her schedule and take things at a pace that she's comfortable with.

[Hawkes_Lady]

Share Your Feelings:
Open up about your feelings sincerely and genuinely. Let her know that you enjoy talking to her and value the connection you have, and express your interest in spending time together when she's more available.

Plan Low-Key Activities:
When you suggest spending time together, propose low-key activities that won't add stress to her schedule. For example, a casual coffee or a short walk can be less intimidating than a more elaborate date.

Offer Support or Help:
If there's any way you can offer support or help to alleviate her stress, feel free to suggest it. However, be careful not to pressure her or make it sound like you're trying to solve all her problems.

Be Patient:
Understand that everyone goes through busy periods in their lives. Be patient and give her the space she needs to manage her current commitments.

Remember, communication is key, and understanding her perspective is crucial. If, despite your best efforts, she still expresses a lack of interest or availability, it's important to respect her decision and give her the space she needs. It's essential to build any relationship on mutual understanding and consent.

Does this help? I hope this will help you figure out how to get her to talk to you. Good luck!

[Middleman]

@Hawkes_Lady Yes it is indeed very helpful, it’s just what I needed. Thank you so much!

[Hawkes_Lady]

@Middleman I am very happy that I could help you! I hope that you can convince the girl that you're a good guy! I don't know you, but a man who can ask for help shows me that you are indeed a good man who is willing to improve himself each day.

[Middleman]

@Hawkes_Lady ahh thank you, you are too kind! I guess you could say that (I want to be a good guy for my girlfriend). Luckily I am surrounded by people in my life who are also like that (good & kind hearted).

[Middleman]

@Hawkes_Lady Just wanted you to know I finally messaged her and told her how I feel. I told her I understood her concerns with work, wanted to get to know her more as a person/friend and spend time with her as a potential partner.

[Hawkes_Lady]

@Middleman Good for you, now the ball is in her court. I hope that she gets back to you and that you both can work something out. Good luck!

[Finchie40]

Personality for sure , if her and I don’t have much in common , then that relationship would be pretty friggin boring yes looks matter but that shouldn’t be the only reason you are with someone

[coachTanthony]

Let the personality comments commence 🤣🤣🤣

[mikaaa89]

This is a funny question.. and the result is probably way off of reality!!

I think there is a tiny small.. really small.. of poeple anle to see the true picture of themselves. (no body will never consider themselves as a player or manipulator). They only know what they have been through and justify theirs action..

For example: my bestfriend.. we were talking about her husband and she saids that he were selfish and control freak with her. From her perspective, he had no reasons to get mad or upset because she felt like going out at the restaurant or pub with friends. She didn't understand.. especially because she always invited him to join her but he never came because for him it was a waste of money. Than she told me how with all her ex how she loved how much nicer it was because they were taking her out often/going out.

I told her that her husband priorities was just not the same. Also, she directly assuming or associating love amd money.. more her lobing used to spend expensive stuff for her more she feel special or important for him.

I tried to make her realize that her husband never miss one family diner, never miss one kid's baseball game, been there watching every swimming classes, have refused to go in many friend's vacations because kids weren't allowed, were only going out during the week after kid's bedtime.

She got mad after i said.. "your husband is definitely not selfish.. ohh well less than you"

[WhereIsMyMind]

It won't last unless they have a nice personality. But I'd rather choose riches over looks as I've been with someone who was good looking before, he started being horrible to me, and on top of that he was broke. Any initial sexual attraction vanished anyway because of his personality.

[XingQi]

Personality. If the person is truly worth a long-term commitment, they have to be willing to put the effort in the relationship and responsibilities that come with it.

I would never date a spoiled rich person that has no idea of responsibility. Looks too will fade away with the years. We aren't going to be in our 20's, 30's, and 40's forever.

[Unit1]

I voted looks for being honest.

Now that doesn't mean I expect women to look like Jessica Rabbit. Half of the girls I see outside are attractive to me, so half of the girls are good enough to me in that department.

With that being said, an attractive woman with a foul personality or a strong hint of gold diggery is a rotten apple to me.

[wolfcat87]

Psht, we can get money together. I've had to pick between looks and personality, and personality will win. The person only has to not be repulsive looking. Everyone's prettier with a great personality!

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Looks is the first thing always. Its simple because itd the first thing you notice. Second is personality. Though since I rarely (or never) cold approach a girl, I get to know them by social circle/class/friends and in that case personality is first

[Pudsmucker]

I found over the years if I'm dating somebody that has money they're above my means and they may be high maintenance. If I choose somebody that's got good looks there they are high maintenance and hard to keep up with there's so more concerned about how they look. Those that I have dated that have personality I wanted to get to know more and enjoy being around them. Therefore I want to get to know them more.

[Anemone978]

Looks.. I used to go for personality but I always pick the wrong guys anyways so might as well be with hot douche bags than ugly douche bags LOL

[AmeerX]

Lol, I used to date for personality too. Still haven't given up but I think looks are important too

[EmyyWolf]

SAME! 💯💯💯

[lightbulb27]

money and looks without personality... and especially character... is going to be misery. I'd rather live in a barn with a feral cat. Personality for sure.

[JacobJordan]

personality. when everything in the world goes to hell all that will be left is looks and personality. and of the 2 a good person is far better to have around than a bad person.

[katiesmuff]

Personality was always first for me and looks second. Never cared about the money issue as i wasn't in the market for a perminment situation.

[molonski2]

Personality , pretty much has to come first , then looks , but some money would sure be nice.

[tzdc21]

I have to find you AT LEAST somewhat attractive first and foremost. But personality is always the factor that makes me stay or go

[Kabluie]

Personality fit is the best one. Looks you can wake up to everyday, but you could bore yourself out with only that. Money doesn't buy fun dates with someone.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I don't care about your money. We can "date" because of looks, but an actual date better bring personality.

[WhitneySnow]

Personality. Money isn’t that important and looks are not an indicator of how good they’ll be to you.

[IslaTheWitch]

Talking with money or looks doesn't really work, so I stick with personality :D