I ask this because I imagine it's not so attractive to hear a guy talk about how he can't get women. If you find him attractive, you'd probably want to hear him talking about something else. Something that would make him seem more capable & competent? Or maybe you don't mind if he presents himself as inadequate in certain areas? What are your thoughts?
Incel is a term that innocently started out as just men who were virgins and felt they couldn't get laid.
That is no longer what is associated with the incel community. It's now synonymous with misogyny and hatred. It's a community that has very vocal members who have committed mass killings and who hate women and even celebrate raping women and the death of women. Its a group who refer to women as "foids" because they see women as not even being human beings. They even have there own lexicon in there community and behave almost cult like. There are whole forums and websites dedicated to the incel community full of incels that breed hate and some actually are on the FBI watchlist.
So yeah If a person calls themselves an incel. I pretty much see a hateful and repugnant human being. I don't care why they are hateful, I don't give a shit for their bullshit reasoning for being addicted to hate. Elliot Rodger was a piece of garbage. He had no excuse. Neither do any of the others that push hate.
I know a few guys that are the silent, play it off pimp types... my ex roomie is 1, so I'm interested to see how good these ladies character judgement is, because I'm betting it isn't worth squat. My ex roomie plays TF outta them... has them doing all kinds of sh**... making fake credit cards with credit lines at their jobs and giving them to him... paying his bills, crawling on the floor at 3am sloppy fd up talking about how they "have to go to church" in a couple hours, etc. He wears short sleeve silk suits, the shades, keeps the poker face, listens to R&B, has the booming car system, doesn't talk much publicly... all that crap. But it takes 1 to know 1... and I CAN TELL... I strongly suspected this... so 1 day in the apartment, I asked him..."D, were you sexually assaulted by a female when you were a kid, by an adult female?" I'm not kidding... he stared at me unblinking for a good 10 seconds solid... then nodded his head up and down. Know what's ironic? So was I, that's how I knew. That's why I only trust immigrant females... the main reason. But what ladies don't know is... guys like that do that... because they HATE women... not because they're trying to impress you with status. They want to degrade you, just like what was done to them when they were too young to defend themselves. We react in different ways. The American ladies don't flock to me because I'm what they'd call 1 of those incels... which is ironic, because I don't even TALK to them... pet alone want anything from them. But I bust my ass to give my own new clothes, cash and assistance to immigrant moms and their kids. He won't give anyone a dime or ANY help... but he dresses the part, stares at the booty and plays it cool... and they all flock to him... and HE'S THE ONE WHO HATES THEM.😏
Do you even know what “incel” means? It means “involuntarily celibate”. Does that sound attractive to any body lest yourself?
A long time ago I was dating a girl I really loved but I didn’t want to be in a relationship with at the time. I had things I had to figure out at the time but I couldn’t get myself to break up with her. I was really scared about how things were going on in my life and I one time called myself “a coward” in front of her.
I’m no coward. I know I’m not. I’ve been self sufficient and independent my entire life. I clean up my own messes. I fight to stay alive and don’t rely on others. She didn’t understand the context and at that moment lost all respect for me. In a way I wanted to turn her off because I didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore (method huge mistake and I recommend never doing it).
But words have power. She didn’t understand the context I was using it in. And the way she looked at me after that made me believe the worst case scenario about mysled was true (even though it really wasn’t). Yes it accomplished my goal of getting her turned off and breaking up with me. However it also gave me huge regrets that I still feel to this day (this was almost 10 years ago). I noticed other parts of my life got exponentially more difficult (other people outside of my relationship strangely got more antagonistic) The “catharsis” wasn’t worth it in the slightest. No.
So do not ever call yourself an “incel”. No. It can become a self fulfilling prophecy you don’t want.
I find it okay for men to admit to me that they’ve been celibate for a while. It doesn’t matter to me whether its voluntary or involuntary. I know dating can be tough and relationships can be difficult to come by sometimes. I also don’t do the hookup thing so I tend to gravitate towards men that don’t do hookups either.
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Most people don't know this, but it was actually a Canadian girl who created the term incel back in the late 90s. Google it, you will find it. She used it referring to her own self and others who were virgins and socially inexperienced. To this day she still speaks about incel-ism from time to time but always remains anonymous. This is why I find it such a joke that we are calling guys this thing.
Women love shy virgin men. Or they pity them sometimes you just can't tell.
What would be the motive for telling a woman that you are an incel (can't get laid but wish you could)? To make her pity you like a lost puppy?
It just shows weakness and lack of desirable qualities. What woman wants a weak man who whines about his lack of success in life and expects pity.
It's about as attractive as saying that you flunked out of high school, can't a job, live with your parents and have a tiny penis.
Also the word incel indicates a preoccupation with sex. Bringing it up shows that you are thinking about sex instead of trying to get to know her and letting her get to know your good qualities in the hope of forming a relationship. A smart person would try to show their good side.
Just to be clear, being an incel is different from being voluntarily celibate. Being voluntarily celibate could be attractive if it meant that you were holding out for the right woman.
I technically fall under the old description of it. I've been single my entire life, I'm 31... it really has not been for the lack of putting myself out there, even though I'm a decent looking guy, i always work on bettering myself, and helping those around me, women don't seem to find me attractive. I honestly don't understand how or why. But... from experience in my youth, it is better to never refer to yourself as an incel, let alone use the word. People tend to jump to the worst conclusions automatically. The word "incel" no longer is a conjecture word for "involuntary celebrate", but has a whole new meaning entirely. Incel's new description is "a rude, woman hating person (typically men), that sexually objectifies and verbally assault women"
... like i said, best to never even use that phrase. It turns everyone off
Someone who claims incel as an identity is statistically more likely to commit murder or domestic terror attacks than he is to get with me.
Incel is a red flag. Someone who *likes* being called an incel and labels themselves as such? Proto-psychopath. Zero interest. Negative interest.
I feel like most guys who say they are incel have been hurt by woman or rejected by a lot of women so they use it as a self defense mechanism. I've noticed when you take the time to show them that not all girls want to rip out their hearts and can be kind they tend to soften up on it. I feel like people are so afraid to get hurt or rejected they hide behind these labels to scare away people
I am not a woman, but still I think I can answer. First of all men should realize that your problems are yours only. No one, particularly women care what you are facing, that is one drawback of being a man. You either break or build yourself. Admitting that you are an incel immediately lowers your sexual mean value (SMV) in front of women, it means that you are not peer selected, if other women don't want you than why would she.
My advice would be that never disclose that you are a virgin or that you have not been intimate with someone for prolonged period. Lie, just like women do. And regarding the status of being an incel, if legal hire a professional in your state and always work on yourself. Fitness and Finances. Remember, there are no ugly rich men. Once you make it to the top 10% you can fulfill all your desires that you were denied.
Omg yes. That being said, I have no problem at all with guys who have no or very little experience with girls as long as they’re sweet and good natured and willing to learn about other genders besides their own.
Well yeah. If someone can't get a date, there's always a really good reason for it.
Yes Turn Off.
INCEL is also Sexually Unappealing. Unattractive. Undesirable.
Which means bad genetics and no social skills. I’m not reproducing with bad genetics.
I'd think it ticks pretty much every box in the "turn off" column. Men who are certainly going to be the worst possible at sex, who also define themselves by how they can't think of anything else, and also have been using their perceived victimhood to justify developing absolutely no other useful knowledge or skills whatsoever.
Yes as does a self proclaimed man whore. I'm not into people whose whole personality is how much use their dick gets.
I think you need to consider gender roles.
Men typically want a woman they like, are attracted to, and they know has feminine qualities which generally are loving and caring in nature
Women want guys that they like, are attracted to, and denote masculine qualities which are generally strength, decisiveness, integrity (just a lot of women are not good at determining what this last quality looks like😆).
So when you're referring to yourself as an (incel) you're asking a woman to take pity on you. And she may. And she might even like you. But in the way you like a wonderful animal. You're not attractive to her. You're pitiful to her.
So run the other direction? In terms of ever forming a relationship? Yeah. You're doing the opposite of what you want to accomplish.
s Definitely. With the “Incel” title comes misogynistic behaviours and beliefs. I wouldn’t want to date anyone who puts down women to make themself feel superior. It’s pathetic.
A lot of your Incels need to be on crazy meds and stop self medicating.
Then their attitudes towards life might change thereby helping to attract the opposite sex.
What woman wants to be with a dude that is so damn unhappy, he tries to bring her down to his level of cynicism.
Incel is not a self-proclaimed label, it's a condition in which a man who would like to get laid can't.
It's better to keep that to yourself. If she asks if you've been with someone for a while, just give a rather non committal answer like, " I haven't been interested in someone for a while". Probably sounds a lot better than what I usually say.
I would worry about the "incel" label because of that community's view of women. I wouldn't be worried about the person being a virgin. I was a late bloomer/had to deal with entering the dating world in my late 20s and it was super awkward. I can relate to that but would be worried about the ideas that the incel community seems to believe/spread.
I mean, if I don't learn to back off already they eventually show me why other girls aren't interested in them. It's absolutely a turn-off.
complete turn off, doesn't matter how hot he is i'm out
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