Can straight men and straight women be just friends? AKA the age old question?

[AlannaBabe]

Yes, they can be just friends

No, they can’t be just friends

Other (comment)

[Anonymous]

I just watched when Harry met Sally and according to them no. But I don't know. Something about the idea that men and women can't be friends just urkes me. Even if there's all the proof in the world... I just feel like it makes men seem like all they really care about is sex and nothing more and women get this false sense of hope that someone sees them as a human and not a sex object... does that make sense? Like I want to believe that there's more to a relationship between a woman and a man than just sex.

[AlannaBabe]

Such a good movie. Would love to see an updated version.

[Cherry234]

Yeah ofc they can be. They just have to set boundaries though, especially when relationships are involved. I think people shouldn't discriminate based on gender (or race and sometimes age) when it comes to friendship. I get that people have preferences, but if you like someone, those types of thing shouldn't matter. The connection you have with someone is more important

[Cherry234]

*those types of things

[TwinTonyz]

Loaded answer. They can be acquaintances just fine. Think how you would interact with coworkers.

You might ask what is the differential, and to that I would say it's the degree of camaraderie. My friends and I will roast each other saying legitimately hurtful things regularly. That kind of relationship borders on toxic, and with a kinda jestful homo-erotic. It's hilarious when newcomers discover this about us.

When you toss women into that environment, there is a compulsion to pull punches. Even writing this, I'm recognizing the subconscious limits I place on myself when interacting with either of them. Moreover, others in the group do the same, even without it being a spoken rule. I can't speak for any of them, but I'll speak for myself.

I've no intention of making a move on either, for various reasons, but even so, I don't treat them as I do my other friends. That's because I'm attracted to both of them. They are able to manage and survive in the, probably, toxic environment that me and the boys participate in. They don't break down and take everything personally and seriously. That's part of the appeal. That said, no matter how strong or tough you wife is, I don't think a lot of men would feel comfortable treating them like one of the boys.

[Jake99999]

A guys honest perspective... every guy that is just "friends" with a woman, definitely has an attraction on some level. Whether they try to act on it, or make it overt, is another question.

That said, can it end up being a nice friendship that is enjoyed by both. Sure.

But show me a guy who is friends with a woman and spends time with her, and I will show you a guy who has an interest beyond just friendship.

I don't think it makes it any less of a friendship. But its there. This is probably true for a lot of women as well. I have had both men and women admit this. But hey, friends are good to have.

[Ohshee1]

Yes. That's the best part about being a real friend a true friend is you know that if you were to take it past that the Friendship would not last it's the same with getting together with somebody you get together with somebody because you know it will last and you know when it won't last true friends except their friendship and they know the difference of lust or one night stand they're honest with themselves and they know down deep that it will not work I have many friends like that if we were to get together within two weeks 2 year we would not be friends anymore but as friends I have been friends with girls for over 30 years

[Halibut]

I think the most important thing to take into account is that whether or not they can permanently be friends, they'll definitely at least temporarily be able to be friends for awhile before at least one of them falls for the other... and that type of friendship is often the start of some of the healthiest romantic relationships in existence.

I don't think there is a better way to meet a long term partner than knowing them amongst a group of friends who hang out together, and eventually just naturally pair up. Tons of couples started off as friends, enjoyed each other's presence, and then naturally started dating because, if you're already friends with someone and you're single... why not date them?

[Tunasub]

Yes.. there doesn't even need to be a discussion between the 2 of them. If they start out as friends and have been friends over some years then there is a good chance that it will be a friendly relationship.

There also has to be some respect and for one another in regards to that friendship. If things were to change there should be clear communication which can not get lost at the onset of something more than friendhip.

The biggest relationship killer in a regular friendship and a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is lack of communication.

[ChrisMaster69]

Yes of course, I have straight, bi and lesbian girl mates. We are great friends and do stupid shit.

I have female work friends that was straight and single and I socialise with.

it’s just a lack of self control if someone cannot be friends with someone without sexualising them.

[ronaldo75]

No. I'm not sure why woman particularly keep asking this shit knowing the answer very clearly. You know full well everyone of your male friends has thought of fucking you. You've even caught everyone of them taking a peek at you at one time or another. You've even caught your female friend's boyfriends taking a peek at your butt or your chest at one time or another. So you know the answer. Even if a guy is "like a brother to you", trust me he's imagined having sex with you.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@ronaldo75
Prove what you said in your opinion.

[ronaldo75]

@MysteriousDarkness Observation isn't your strongest quality, is it?

[MysteriousDarkness]

@ronaldo75
You don't want to prove your point or is it you can't?

[AlannaBabe]

I’m ugly so I doubt it haha but I appreciate hearing your thoughts

[ronaldo75]

@MysteriousDarkness No, I asked if observation wasn't your strong suit. You want documented peer reviewed statistics showing all men have looked at their female friend's asses? Or testimony from every man on the planet saying they've done this?

You said "prove what you said in your opinion", yes? Right, so just with that you show you're off. Opinions don't have to be proven. Positions and truth-statements DO have to be proven and with a statement making an observation about general human behavior you can make unfalsifiable general statements about universal behavior.

"All adult men masturbate" - Have I seen every man masturbate? Do I have to? Is there literature saying all men masturbate? Is there a survey of all men where they all say they masturbate? No. Right? we know the answer to all those questions is no, yet, we can still say all adult men masturbate or most adult men masturbate because it's something universally known.

Again we circle back to my observation comment. The fact you have no observational skills or don't have many female friends isn't my problem.

[ronaldo75]

You're not ugly. You're actually really pretty but just overweight. I guarantee you your male friends have have had naughty thoughts about you. lol

[NathanDavis]

and the old answer is yes...

my best friend is a woman, and we're both straight

most of my other best friends, are also women and one is bisexual, the other are straight

and then I have more friends and acquaintances too... straight, lesbian, bisexual... and it all goes with no issues really

and it's been long years like that, as well

[Avicenna]

Yes, of course. It's nice to have a platonic friendship where there isn't sexual tension and you can get or give some honest advice.

I used to get jokes about me and my female friends pairing up, but we never wanted it. Now, had they come on to me, I wouldn't have turned them down if I was single, but it never happened.

[Medhat-M]

I love how all people are like sure why not and in reality everyone's friends from the opposite sex are for : eye candy, ego boost, validation device, potential candidate for plan B And rebounds... People are so lame and pretentious...

[AlannaBabe]

I’ve always just got a long better with guys and have had issues with female friends. But they can definitely be the case for sure

[Pj1981]

I've been conflicted by this question for a while. I have a female friend who at one time I was spending about 20 hours a day with her. We kept it friendly but there was quite a bit of sexual tension, and flirting. We are still good friends but live 1100 miles apart. If we would have continued on the way we were I am almost positive it would have crossed the line. I can't say it's not possible though.

[Made4sex]

If it is an age old question then what makes you think that you will get anymore accurate of an answer?
yes! But with certain perimeters…
only providing that both heterosexual individuals are respectful and open minded!

[AlannaBabe]

Optimism I guess haha

[888theGreat]

I had an older female friend , we still are but not like before. I was in flea markets with her, then I got out before she did , now she is out of them. Her daughter got divorced and they bought a house together , so that changed things a lot. I don't think Daughter was too keen on me either. But we were friends as much as friend is defined.

[Twalli]

One of my female friends (let's call her M) recently got married. I have never been attracted to M, but we are close enough that I was invited to the wedding. M is a bit on the heavy side and taller than me. These combined make her completely unattractive to me. She has never been attracted to me, probably due to the same disparity in our sizes. We are still good friends because we like a lot of the same things. That's really all you need for a friendship, similar interests.

[snackthatsmilesback]

If you can't be friends with someone just because of their sex, then you're either sexist or bad at friends. That's been my experience anyway.

[AlannaBabe]

That’s very true. I have more guy friends than girl friends and it’s just always worked for me. But then again I’m ugly so maybe that’s why lol

[snackthatsmilesback]

Hah well better than being ugly alone. I wonder if this same old question applies to gay/lez friends as well? I've never heard anyone say 2 gay men can't be just friends.

[AlannaBabe]

Yeah that’s a good question.

[DonkeyDan]

I have a few female friends that I don't have any feelings towards, and as far as I know they don't towards me either, so yes it is possible. I think it depends on how the person sees and respects the opposite sex.

[RaeShirley]

Well, my best friend is a guy and neither of us has any romantic feelings towards each other so personally, I know it may not work for some people, but being friends has worked out perfectly for us so far🙂

[haphazard]

Uh yeah... they are friends all the time. They can't necessarily not be sexually attracted to each other though. If you think otherwise, chances are you are probably lying to yourself.

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

It depends on how they met but in theory it is possible. I’ve met women through work and other friends and remained perfectly good friends and nothing more. IT’s challenging but doable

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Yes they can.

And anyone who thinks otherwise likely is their own reason why they can't have platonic friends.