1. Availability of "the pill" ushered in women's sexual liberation. Don't get me wrong, I celebrate it. It allowed people to engage in relationships, learn, and gain valuable experience without fear of pregnancy.
But, like most things, it's a double edged sword. It also made wild promiscuousness and sex without emotional connection or meaning possible.
The thing is, before the pill, not many women engaged in sex before marriage for fear of getting pregnant and being stigmatized. And their children would have been deemed bastards.
So there was much more incentive for people to get married. Not that I endorse "saving" virginity until after marriage.
And there was societal pressure to get married and stay married for the sake of the kids.
2. Lack of healthy role models: The "boomer" generation had healthy TV role models, especially for men. As time went on, men were increasingly portrayed as buffoons.
There was also an increase in graphic violence.
Without healthy models boys don't learn to be strong males with character, caregivers or gentlemen.
3. Lack of freedom and independence. At some point, kids were no longer allowed to play or even walk to school unsupervised. Their lives were controlled and scripted.
Instead of having adventures with friends and testing their intellectual and physical abilities, they were trained to be frightened and obedient workers.
The only exercise they get anymore is through organized sports or at the gym.
4. School: If kids act like kids, there are diagnosed as hyperactive, or ADHD or something and prescribed drugs.
5. The fashion and beauty industry thrives on making men and especially women feel insecure about themselves in order to sell clothing, makeup and beauty products.
In recent years, there have been extremely unhealthy female role models like Kim Kardashian who promote exaggerated caricature versions of women. Men fell in love with giant tits and asses, and normal women felt they couldn't compete unless they, themselves became unrealistic caricatures.
Add to that, the fairly recent promotion and popularization of every kind of medical modification, including gender change.
6. Consumerism; luring people into wanting the latest, shiny cars, toys and products. People who buy into it also see other people as products. They see a hot boy or girl and think nothing of swapping out their old partner for one that is new and fashy.
We became a throw-away culture.
Things became overly competitive. Status became the goal.
7. Rap songs and videos that treat women as whores. And extremely perverted, sexualized performances by female pop artists.
8. I think the number one culprit is social media. But, it's another double edged sword.
On one hand, infinitely more information is available than there was with just broadcast and print media. Some of that information is extremely valuable but a lot of it is toxic. Misogyny and misandry are rampant.
Social media has made kids sedentary, uninterested in their surroundings, and socially awkward.
It has made them more vulnerable to points 3 and 4 mentioned above.
But worst of all, before social media, people met people through neighborhood affiliations and friends, school, work, or by chance when out in the world. That was the only way to meet anyone. They didn't hold out on meeting a 10/10. In fact, there were no ratings. Normal was the norm. They just wanted a boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife.
So if they met someone they found cute and physically attractive, who had a good personality and values, and the two of them got along, they got together. They didn't scour the entire world on-line to find perfection.
And they went on real dates to get to know each other instead of spending weeks or months texting and interacting on their "devices".
And then there is on-line porn where young people get their sex education these days. It teaches the majority of boys to feel inadequate about their penises. There is zero romantic connection, tenderness or respect, and therefor girls learn to believe that boys want professional porn whores, similar to the portrayal of women in rap and pop music videos.
*********************
So, somewhere along the way innocence and sweetness got lost.
I just got done saying this; "There's far too much 'for-now' in forever, these days"
It's not your generation, specifically, it's the times. Even those in my generation are doing this, as I long for my great grandparent's time, when they actually invested in themselves and their relationship.
The problem is that we're all moving at the speed of light these days. We want it all RIGHT NOW, we don't want to wait for anything. We don't let things take time to heat up off a slow simmer - we hit that microwave and boil over in 5 minutes. We never took time to get to know a person before we hopped in the sack and off to the races in another crash and burn relationship.
We're just as impatient when we're single. Quick! Grab Plenty-of-Fish, Grab Tinder, Grab OKCupid, Grab Facebook Dating, Swipe - Swipe - Swipe!
Worse... in all this rat race; do we know what we're offering? When's the last time you held the mirror in bed and hugged the reflection? Mental health has been an increasing issue orbiting in the toxicity of most relationships of this day and age; people are so insecure with themselves that they don't put out the best offerings on the table of love. Bring two people who are only 20% sure of who they are together, and a relationship that should be 200% is only 40% - not even half a complete person combined.
First thing I'll say is Slow the f**k down! Get out of the bed and into the heart, starting when you're single. Bring 100% of yourself to the table, and expect no less from the other. Take time to find out how much of the other person you're getting. If they haven't said "I love you", they don't! Maybe they will, but maybe you can't see 100% of them until they do. That doesn't mean throw them away. Just give it more time. Stop making expectations of some hot and heavy romance novel relationship; try being friends to eachother first, with a promise of more when the time is right. After all, if you can't be friends... how can you be girlfriend/ boyfriend? Let time flow, and dictate the course your relationship will take. Place upon it no expectations, nor be expected to do something only one of you wants to do. Let the sun and sky grow the seed into a tree that reaches high. Those trees take a lot of time to get there, don't they? So should relationships.
I wouldnât say âuseâ but the values seem different. Thereâs so much focus on social media and not enough on soul-building, unifying experiences that will bring you and your partner closer. Also, the mindless push towards gender fluidity you guys have experienced since grade school has impacted the things you now value. The questions you guys ask yourselves are therefore different than the ones we asked ourselves at your age. Cultural expectations have also shifted, which impacts how and what you guys value as well.
For example, my career path was 100% set at 18, I hit my first massive career peek (a directorship) at 24, which was rare in my profession⌠I was also married, etc., to meet my familyâs cultural expectationsâŚ. I donât know a lot of 20-somethings today with that same motivation/pressure. You have more time to âfind yourselvesâ⌠which, considering my generationâs divorce rate, is not a bad thing.
Donât rush. âSlow and steady wins the race.â (Aesop)
Everything is handed to you literally at your fingertips. Older generations had to put effort in to find people and keep them. These days you can drop someone and replace them with a swipe if not too picky, and as shocking as that is to some folks on gag, yes, both genders are picky as all out. Which is fine.. but not when it's picky based on past hurts. Fresh people deserve their own fair chances. The reality of this is commitment issues. People don't care. They don't respect. They feel why bother they either never receive it or ever want to given it out and get hurt again. At some point it has to stop. You get back what you put out. Want it to change you have to change first. But you also have to stand up and expect the same in return. Relationships are equal efforts. You can't only take nor only give, neither only will work. Meet people in the middle. And work on troubles together. Build that trust by giving it.
Ah, the million-dollar question rolling off the love oracle's lips! In my role as a relationship whisperer, I've noticed that many from older generations often reminisce about the 'good old days' when relationships seemed more genuine. You see, the game of love has always been tricky, but nowadays, it's like we're playing on hard mode. With the advent of technology, we're bombarded with options, leading to a paralysis of choice and a consumer attitude toward relationships. It's like swiping through Netflix; so many options that picking one feels impossible!
Then throw in the mix terms like ghosting and lovebombing, which were hardly in the lexicon years ago. Relationships can now start or end with the tap of a screen, making it easier to avoid the deep, sometimes messy work of building true connections.
But hey, it's not all doom and gloom. Behind every screen, there's a heart seeking connection. The trick is to slow down, swipe less, and communicate more. Genuine connections are still out there; it's just about digging a little deeper.
Opinion
23Opinion
. Well it kind of seems you're right 100%, but the thing about that is that's only going to happen to them a few times until they realize what life is all about what commitment is all about what becoming one is all about and what happens to you when you use somebody for your own personal gain it's all the learning experience no matter what it says that people nowadays have to go through that but it is what it is. Nowadays people have learned what they have learned through their parents they only know what they know some are good some are bad but it's up to each individual to weed out the good weed out the bad to make sure they pick the right partner.
I would say emotional investment is absent from a lot of non family social relationships but procedural investment is plentiful but you have to offer somebody a reason to invest their time and attention and respect into your life cause they have many needs and won't help somebody unless the help they give you is mutually returned.
Mainly because people have become more selfish , and set higher standards for themselves thinking they deserve better than what they already have in front of them , I feel Social media played a big part on impacting the way people think these days , People tend to want what they donât have and sadly thatâs whatâs ruining the foundation of a relationship these days
I don't feel that way. It's a common thing for any generation to ascribe all kinds of evil to the following generation. You always hear them say that "Kids today" are going to lead to the downfall of society. We'll generations keep being born and society keeps chugging along.
More often I hear complaints about the younger generations music, and to be clear, I don't like your music. I don't like various types of music, so I don't listen to it. If society survived the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Ozzy Osborne, Marilyn Manson, NWA, and Disco, we'll survive Taylor Swift.
As for relationships, I do think technology has presented your generation with problems mine didn't have, but also opportunities we didn't have. The fact that young people in their 20s don't have everything figured out as well as people twice or three times their age doesn't indicate anything is wrong with them. I didn't have much of a handle on my life in my twenties either.
So basically, don't listen to all that "Kids today" BS. They weren't any better that you when they were your age. It's been going on since at least their grandparents and probably forever.
I think people now subscribe to this âmemories/moments over thingsâ ideology. This is a great mindset to have in almost every way but I also think itâs trickled down into relationships and a core-level belief that every moment of everyday is some post worthy experience or itâs not right. Life, and particularly a normal relationship, is NOT day after day of amazing experiences and life changing moments. There IS a routine and a norm that sets in and I think many of the younger people I work with start to question their relationships over issues that seem quite petty to me.
Second, and just as bad, social media has created a false perception of reality. Life isnât at all how it seems on a post. The absolute worst couples I know look like they are living a dream life on social media and the healthiest and happiest couples I know have virtually no (or a minimal) social media presence. They are just living life - not âsharing itâ or trying to be that dreaded wordâŚan influencer.
I think the false image of who people are on social media to a series of disappointments when people see somebody on their device and start to believe they can have a life like theirs and then feel unfulfilled when they canât attain something that seemingly exists e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e. The thing is that âlifeâ online is fabricated and not real and leads to a emptiness that cannot be fulfilled. They get frustrated, so things in pursuit of this false idol (such as break up, cheat, try to level up, stare at better looking people and like their images all day, and so on) which further contaminate their real life reality and it starts a momentum which sabotages their happiness and relationships.
So goes my theory, anyhow.
There are still people who were raised with good morals and values, but that is definitely not as common as it once was. That means it's more work to filter and vet people, and you really, seriously must use morals, values, and life goals as your primary criteria. You have been programmed to select partners based on how you FEEL about them - which can work well in fairy tales, but not so much in real life.
Vetting for morals and values tends to exclude the people you FEEL most attracted to, which is why most people refuse to do it, but that's exactly why it's necessary. Feelings are very temporary and only care about the present moment, and often encourage you to do things that can be incredibly destructive long-term just so you can feel good this minute.
There's no question that the leftist ideals of moral relativism that took root in the late 60s has significantly eroded morals in the west, and you can't have long-term relationships with people who have bad morals - you will be hurt and taken advantage of. Solid morals are the foundation of the way of life and the prosperity that we enjoyed for 100 years in the west and in relationships since forever. There were always some bad people, but the majority were largely good and moral. I can't say that I believe that today - but you CAN still find such people - it's just hard work and takes effort and discipline.
Immorality, dishonesty, disloyalty, and no self control has ruined society, including relationships. If someone is in a relationship and has a smartphone to use social media, most likely they are disloyal based on their behavior. Anyone that posts provocative pictures online while in a relationship is disloyal. Anyone that makes NEW opposite gender friends while in a relationship is disloyal (and often looking for other options).
So many people are immoral and disloyal that they don't even realize how bad and messed of people they are. Their immoral friends supporting their bad behavior just reinforces their belief that it is okay to mistreat their partner in that way. Many women especially, including many on this site call people "controlling" if they don't want their partner to participate in behavior that is essentially cheating. And yes, it is MOSTLY women that cheat. (Of course, no matter how many women trick men into raising kids that aren't their, which is close to 1/3 of all kids in the USA now based on statistics from DNA testing, not just for paternity, but that DNA testing comes up for military relatives benefits, and medical reasons too in some studies, the majority of women still deny it, often while being supportive of their friends that they know are cheating in their relationships.)
by the way, anyone that continues to be friends with someone that cheats is a bad immoral person too by supporting that kind of behavior.
And this isn't new. It happened in generation X, millennials, and Gen Z. It may be increasing, but it is increasing for all three of those generations due to easy access with social media. Immoral people have always been immoral, it is just that now they have more access to finding other immoral people that supports their behavior.
Not sure if your definition of "wiser (older)" includes people in my age range or not, but I'll give it to you anyway:
In today's age people are a lot more interested in casual sex and just hanging out with people - which I'm definitely not saying is a good thing, but it's one reason. Also people grew up seeing their parents have failed relationships so then they grow up not really understanding what real love is either. It's the lack of understanding the definition of real love which is why people fail. So they would rather have casual sex with co-workers, school mates, or other connections, get overweight, and have no incentive to build families.
Because people don't understand real love, they often believe that it's built on fairy tale romance and strong infatuation, and then these "feelings fade" and cause people to break it off with a person.
2 things mainly.
1. This, things like social media. Social media is a tool it has the ability to connect people. But given human nature it gives narcissists a platform to reach more people then they otherwise would. So rather than bring people together it creates petty jealousy and insecurity in people.
2. The dissolution of the family structure. It's a proven fact that single parent households propagate broken relationships. In short, people who have not been properly loved in thier formative years do not understand how to love others. It's a lot of why you see so many school shootings and whatnot today. People today do not understand love. Most today as a result only care about getting thier needs met.
Youâll find as you grow older, the number of real, or genuine, friends is in fact quite small. Itâs not that generations are necessarily changing; itâs just that your emotional maturity evolves over time. You become less tolerant of the bull shit. You define stronger boundaries. People who disrespect such boundaries end up falling by the wayside. Soon, it feels very few people are truly genuine. At that point, I say, welcome to adult hood
he divorce rate has been pretty stable and has even been declining in recent years, but that may be to fewer people getting married and more just shacking up.
Now, take that last part: more people shacking up and fewer people getting married. I think that's a problem. If you choose to shack up but not make the commitment of marriage rates have been declining every year since the 1980s, so it did not start with this generation.
Why this phobia for commitment? Too many people rushing into relationships? Too many people just want a sex buddy?
I think a lot of that is coming from social media on the Internet and cell phones.
Younger generations have lost their social skills because there is far less interaction in person and far more interaction through technology. It's not natural and it causes problems with relationships.
There is no substitute for in person socialization. Humans are designed by millions of years of evolution to need that in order to have healthy relationships. When they don't get enough of it, they have relationship (not to mention mental) problems.
I think that is one of the main differences between older and younger generations today. The younger generations never knew what life was like before the Internet, social media and cell phones. They don't have that critical perspective. They are addicted to technology, and that is antisocial behavior.
Although I don't fall into either category (older or wiser)😜, I think it comes down to how much we've become a disposable society. People throw away things so easily these days, including relationships. The mentality is, if the relationship takes time and/or effort, just dump and run into a fresh new relationship that doesn't, and is all shits and giggles again.
There was no social media when I was dating. There were no hookups and when you were in a relationship with somebody it was really something special.. Guys took care of their ladies and treated them like something special and enjoyed doing so.
Today people are considered losers if the haven't had sex after they turned 16. It is not special but just something that had to be put through. Big body counts is the rule rather than the exception.
Because people want instant gratification for everything now. They don't want to take the time to grow something. To nurture it.
People seem to believe that they are entitled to things without having to worry about working for them. They also, in most cases, donât need to be responsible for their actions or mistakes. Nor suffer the consequences. But, on the other hand. I guess their parents allowed such things to be engrained into their children at a young age.
Plus the lawlessness that is allowed in society. Doesnât set a very good precedent!
It's because feminism and globalism have destroyed the family unit and as a result you have more people raised in single mother households who have no idea what a healthy relationship looks like. Women are also encouraged to ride the cock carousel and focus on their usually pointless careers instead of marrying and having children. Social media and the endless validation they get there from bitch-made simps has made most women into entitled narcissists.
the older generation (especially Boomers during the sexual revolution era) were the first to use each other for sex and they still try to defend that era while having the audacity to be "conservative" after wasting their youth being "liberal"
Not old but social media. Easy access to sex. Less meaningful emplyoment. Lack of community and more drug use and mental. health issues.
Old School values are lost on the younger generation due to many reasons.
One example is how cell phone technology turned them into techno-zombies. They'd rather stream a movie or play video games than to actually socialize.
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