How do you know if you should settle down with the one you have or keep looking for someone else?

[coachTanthony]

[Anonymous]

I have much experience in dating and relationships. I have been in relationships which were good and a few which were bad, and one which was a 10 on the Richter scale.


After I had dated Helen for about 9-10 months, we were no longer in the honeymoon phase. We had gone through s as free conflicts. She didn’t scream, call me names, throw things, file false police report, or call my family and tell them lies.


Our days were free of drama, we both had the same goals and the same plan for how to reach them. She was attentive and caring, not just in her words but also in her actions. The highlight of most days was getting in bed, putting my arms around her, and going to sleep together.


My thoughts about the future always included her. I didn’t miss being on dating apps or having first dates with “new” women. I was proud of her and happy to introduce her as my girlfriend. Most importantly, we had mutual love, lust, trust, and respect. My relationship with her was significantly better than any of my previous relationships.


For me, it was obvious that we should be together for the rest of our lives. I didn’t rush into proposing to her because there was no need to rush and I wanted to make sure that this was it. My feelings grew stronger and i proposed in March, 2023.

[Crimsyjo]

That's beautiful! I really want to find that too!

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for MHO!

[skunk3n]

You know it by:

• You're both willing to develop together and in the same direction.
• Even while you're undergoing the roughest part of your relationship, you can instantly answer the question, 'Why do you still love her?'
• Your single friends (and maybe partner friends too) are jealous, not only because of your girlfriend's perfect appearance, but because of how happy you are as a person and proud of her. You practically brag about her.
• You have that constant feeling in your GUT.

[DishLady]

You know when you’ve found the person who gets you. How many people in the world really tolerate all of a person’s quirks? Not many.


“The one” is the person who gets you and who you also understand. You feel like you can sense what the other person needs even if they don’t feel it yet themselves. You’re willing to forgive and work past stuff consistently and with progressive clarity. That’s not something you find every day. When you find it, hold on to it.

[purplepoppy]

If you're still looking then why are you still with them? You're supposed to stop looking while you're dating then restart if you split up.

I sometimes feel I'm the only one on GAG with morals.

[coachTanthony]

LOL I think many people get FOMO unfortunately.

[Caroline91]

@purplepoppy I'm sorry to hear you feel that way.

[HawkPerception]

@purplepoppy To think of yourself as the only one that has morals in a group of people shows narcissistic tendencies.

There are many people I've listened to the opinions of on this app that have great moral values and while I may not agree with them on every point, I respect them.

It's also statistically illogical to assume that everyone is the same and that you are the one outlier.

I understand you're exaggerating, but I still think your perception of the majority of people may be a little too negative.

[jennifer_bloom]

I have concluded that superficial desire is temporary and you should judge guys by their behaviour and not their status and evocativeness.

[_SilentWolf_]

In my opinion, you can understand whether you should be satisfied with the person you have by looking at whether your relationship brings you peace, happiness and meaning. If you feel at peace and complete, there is no need to look for someone else. But if you constantly feel dissatisfied and lacking, perhaps it would be better to be honest with yourself and your partner and look for a new path.

[ZackBan]

I would say it's with the person I feel 100% comfortable being myself around.

Every time I date, I end up censoring a part of myself that my girlfriend might find too offensive. And that censorship always weights heavily.

So when I manage to find someone who doesn't mind any side of me I'm sure I'll be inclined to settle down

[GeminiDiamond]

Gj Coach. I knew from both a deep level of understanding/tespect and the sex is also amazing, to be blunt. The drama is rare, though there are moments. I just love him? Can't explain it in words. If I could, it would write books.

[Phoenix98]

Do you see a future with them? Like being with them forever? Could you see yourself marrying her/having a family with her?

Someone you see no future with is someone who is not the one for you.

[Billlewis]

Men generally settle, while an attractive, desirable woman is often never really 100% committed, because she knews she can always find someone else to be with.

[Caroline91]

My husband and I are like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, we just fit... and no other piece will do.

[Wiredone]

You just know in your gut and your heart when you have the right person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Everything just seems right to you.

[electromagnetic]

If it’s not the one I have now, I’m going into a whirlwind of screwing everyone I see.

[SotiCoto]

Doesn't that depend entirely on how long you've already been able to live in each others' company for?

[msc545]

If you can get through 5 years with this person without wanting to kill yourself or wanting to kill them, that's probably a good indication that you might start taking things seriously.

[Anonymous]

Date 4-7 people seriously for 6 months or so. Then figure out which one is the best of the bunch. If you ever find someone better than that one, keep him/her.

[privateperson]

an intangible feeling I suppose combined with their commitment to you and whether you both want the same things.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

If you feel like you still have to keep looking, then he/she is not the one.

[PointlessNonsenseGuy]

If you're asking yourself that question, you should probably keep looking.

[coachTanthony]

I'm not

[PointlessNonsenseGuy]

Well, then, that might be a good sign.

[Nikki1989]

I was 100% sure with my man. If I had any doubts, I would have never married him.

[LaurenM1997]

Why would I look elsewhere when i want to be with someone who I’m with

[LaurenM1997]

Which I’m not atm I’m single still

[LiamJHayden]

I've decided that I am incapable of maintaining a long term romantic relationship, so unless a lady proves me wrong on this I will not settle.

[Twalli]

Are you comfortable with them? Can you see yourself marrying someone else? Do you have a lot of arguments and fights?

[NathanDavis]

I don't know it till I know it