The gist of what I'm asking is how to make someone into a LTR partner instead of a LT F-Buddy
The deets: I'm a woman. I met this guy about six months ago, in person. Since meeting, we flirted extensively through electronic communication (facebook, texts, IMs). I'm not really sure why it took so long, but we only met up in person a few weeks ago.
Since meeting, out messages to each other have escalated and become increasingly heated. Essentially, we both want each other.
Not to be reductive, but typically men want to get laid and women want to be in relationships. Someone had said, women think clearly before sex, and men think clearly after sex.
I really like this guy, we make good friends, and I would like a relationship with him. I am not as worried that a relationship between us would damage the friendship that we have, but I would be disappointed if the relationship between us was reduced to an F-buddy relationship.
On another note, I'm a virgin, and for whatever reason, feel like my first time should not be a hook up or F-buddy. But life isn't perfect, and if that's what ends up happening, then so be it.
Furthermore, I'm in school, and we both have about 3 more weeks in the same city. before a long break. Does that necessitate F-buddy status?
So, are there any steps to take to steer it away from F-Buddy status?
People are willing to have the relationship they agree to. Attempting to promote a sex partner to a spouse generally has really bad results unless that is the relationship both people wish to have. People can change their mind about relationships as they get further along in them. I don't, however, advise anyone to have a relationship they don't want or enjoy in the hopes that they can convince the person to change to the relationship they wanted in the first place.
fwiw, I married on of my f***buddies 15 years ago and we are still happy.
Don't ever feel like you need to rush sex or anything sexual just because of a time limit. Ask him if he wants to have a relationship, a real one, not a F-Buddy. That's the first step I think.
From recent personal experience, don't have much physical contact with him until you're in a committed relationship with him! I'm not just talking about sex but also stuff like making out. Hugging and cuddling is probably fine. I know it may be tempting when he makes you feel special and you want to be physical with him too, but if you make him wait then he probably will eventually give in to a real relationship and respect you as a person. If you give him what he wants without a relationship then most likely he won't pursue a real relationship with you and think of you mainly as a sex object. I had to learn the hard way about this.fortunately we only went to 2nd base and I didn't like him that much anyways, but it still hurt.
Tell him that you're not looking for FWB relationship and you're looking for relationship. If he really like you he will not attempt to have any FWB with you.
If you don't want a FB then don't be a FB! Flirty text and things like that often are miscontruded as being interested in a relationship or just plain sex. Talk very open and honest with him that a relationship is what you seek.not just someone to sleep with! One more thing to consider is.it took you 6 months to meet and your in the same city?
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: A month ago
asked 3 days ago
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