Yes, because I would rather it came from me then from somebody else, and if I didn't want to break up with her then I didn't mean anything with the girl I cheated on her with. I'm dealing with this right now as I'm wrighting this, I love my girlfriend more than I've ever felt before and I feel like shit right now.
but what's the best way to tell her, should I make her come to my house or should I go to her's?
UltraDramatic
(Age:30 to 35)
When: More than a year ago
Not a cut-and-dried and answer.
If you're really sorry that you cheated, you feel guilty, and you're repentant, you should probably say tell her. It would be understandable if you didn't, especially because that kind of information would end up hurting her. But you've also got to consider the possibility that if you don't tell her, she might find out on her own, which would make her even more angry than being honest with her up front.
There are exceptions. You could be dating a woman who would respond, "So not only did you cheat on me, but then you have the nerve to TELL me??!??" If yours is such a case, you should either not cheat, or if you're going to cheat, keep your mouth shut.
Now if you cheated and plan on cheating on her again, or if you're always looking for that on-the-side hookup, then you should just break up with her, because she won't want to stay with you once she finds out, either way. Women who have been around us long enough can usually tell if we're being sincere, and if you tell her you cheated but lie about not wanting to cheat on her again, she'll see right through you. Better to break it off and take ownership -- tell her that you aren't mature enough to stay with one person.
You should absolutely tell her. I'm assuming that you're in this situation, so just think it through; would you rather tell her yourself or have someone else tell her? If you tell her yourself then at least she knows you respect her enough to tell the truth. If you don't tell her and she finds out from someone else then there's almost a 100% chance that she'll dump your ass. Trust me on this, it will be awkward at first but if you two really love each other then this will work out. Whatever you do, DO NOT DEFEND YOURSELF. As soon as you start justifying yourself, you've lost her.
PS Cheating isn't ok under any circumstance, but we all slip up so don't beat yourself up too much.
When my boyfriend cheated on me I got a call from his friend saying, "Hey, well I want you to say calm because what I'm about to tell you might be a really big shock. Well, see (name) made a profile on a dating site and girls replied to him. Well anyways, he met one of them in person and things got carried away and they had sex.OH! But she was really hot though, she was like a 10."
Do NOT do that. Just make sure you tell her and apologize profusely. Tell her she is beautiful. This sounds terrible, but when my boyfriend cheated on me I wanted him groveling at my feet.
Seriously dude, tell her, my girlfriend cheated on me with this really gross whore Sasha(yeah she was attractive, but this girl is a f***ing disgrace she sleeps with EVERYONE and ANYONE I'm serious, not even exaggerating) anywhooo, I happened to be in the house when it happened (it involved a lot of alcohol) so I obviously knew, and it was so traumatic, because I am really in love with my girl, but more recently after a lot of yelling, pushing, freaking out and crying (for the both of us) we fixed it up and got back together, because I knew in my heart she wouldn't have done it if she was sober, and about two weeks ago she slept at the same house it all first happened in (her friend Jerixos) and Sasha was there, and I wasnt because I wanted to go home that night because I was very tired and Jerixcos house is kinda gross, and she got drunk and Sasha was drunk and she made the dumb mistake of talking to Sasha to "make things less awkward" according to her, and one my friends Colleen was there and she claimed she was almost positive she saw Sara (my girlfriend) and Sasha laying in bed together in the dark, and Jerixo said the same thing. Sara swears up and down nothing at all happened and she would never do that to me again, and that she was DEFINITELY passed out if Sasha crawled into bed because she knows for a fact she didn't let her lay with her. I don't know what to do, Sara wasnt even the one to tell me about all this, my best friend Heather told me, and I was so pissed because Sara knew that people were making these accusations and she never told me. Case in point don't let someone else tell your girl you cheated, let her hear it from you, it hurts either way, but she may respect you more in the long run.
Why cheat on a girl who you want to stay with? Tell her, because things like that will find her way to her, karma can be an evil thing. Its best you tell her then her finding out from a third party. However tel her not to get mad because you told her , many guys wouldn't, and reason you did tel her is because you were very sorry for what you did.
tell her because if she finds out on her own it will be bad news for you, plus if you love her why would you do that in the first place? she deserves your honesty even though she doesn't have your faithfulness.
This is a sore subject for me. Dated, 7 years.. He had multiple times of cheating. I did not know until about a week ago.. So, if you are going to cheat on her, you are a piece of dookie! If you can do it, man up and tell her. Hello? Herpes, Aids, other diseases.. Not only that, but she is being faithful, why would you want to hurt someone you love on purpose? Because you have a woody, and you meet a hoe? Tell her. Give her the chance to see if she wants to forgive you. Don't lie to her.
Yea definitely.. Tell her if she just gets all mad about she has a right. You know what I mean....] if you are meant to be and to work it out you will be together and dis will make your relationship stronger. I have been with ma bf for a few years and we both made mistakes cheated and didn't tell and tried to deny even but we were both hurt and finally we talk bout it, you can tell it doesn't bug her or you anymore if you can bring it up and laugh about it...give it some time she mite or mite not be cool with it...at least be honest and tell.
