I broke up with my ex about 10 months ago, after a three year relationship. He was my first love and my first proper boyfriend. Throughout the three years the relationship, he was abusive and un-loving. Dispite this, I still clung on and tried to put it aside and love him. After one night out he got drunk (as usual) and rowdy, he swung for me, and I decided the relationship was most deffinitly over, ther was nothing more I could do, although it was heart braking, I had warned him before that I would have no choice if he didn't stop. He never really showed any love or real affection to me until two weeks after, and for the next couple of months he embaressed himself trying to get back with me. On one night out he decided to seek revenge and got my best friend drunk and slept with her. I was obviously infuriated because he intended this to break up my friendship(s). After this I decided that I wasn't going to try and live my life around him, and started dating a wonderful guy who had been a friend of mine for a while. When my ex found out he declared he never wanted to talk to me again. And he hasn't for months. I know it's hard to grasp but I crave communication with him, not in a relationship sense, but because of all the wrong he caused, and I feel he at least owes it to me to be civil. All I did was what I warned I would do. After a three year realtionship, I just want to be able to say hello to the guy and for us to be able to acknowledge each other's exsistance. I don't know what to do.
Let me tell you this as someone who knows all too well what you mean. HE IS GARBAGE AND YOU ARE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM IN YOUR LIFE. I know that's mean and you may not agree, but even if your not WITH him, he will only bring you down if you continue to communicate with him. He'll make you somehow feel guilty and low and it's not a good feeling. I know you think that he owes you an apology and to be honest, I felt that way for several years.but finally I realized I didn't WANT or need an apology. I know that in the end, he'll get his. They always do. Believe me when I say that you're not missing anything and you're better off without him!
i think that what you want is normal and respectable, I mean you shared so much of your lives for those 3 yrs. Though I think it would be in your best interest to just keep on going, like you have been- stay focused on the new man in your life and on developing that relationship. I think that all your ex needs is some time in this situation. For him loosing you was a huge ball breaker, the power in the relationship shifted completely and he was rejected- you damaged his ego AND HE DESERVED IT. Some people take longer to bounce back to civality, but I am sure he will. Just give him time, I am sure he will want to talk eventually:) Good Luck in the future and Good for you, for getting out, he crossed the line.
I would do my best to get over him. The thing is, you have not hit closure with him. You have just admitted to having a few questions for this man and wondering why he won't answer. It's normal to be confused and wonder why he won't answer. That's three years of your life and it's normal to want to still have them in your life. However, he was not nice and he didn't respect you. You don't need to associate with someone who doesn't realize what he has and how good he has it.
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(Age:25 to 29)
When: 3 months ago
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