We've been broken up for only a few weeks. I received a text from him this past weekend telling me that he wasn't drunk, but just wanted me to know how much he misses me, loves me, thinks about me all the time, and thinks I'm an amazing person. We even spoke and he said he sent a thank you card to my parents for all they've done for him, and saying that if he could be half as kind as me he would be so thankful (not tooting my own horn, I'm just COMPLETELY confused).
HE broke up with ME. We've been "on again, off again" for about two years now. He's always been faithful, and comes from a strong, loving background. We share the same interests and goals for life. He always does things like this because he always thinks I'm attacking him when I bring up something in the relationship I'm not happy with (ex. him not making any time for me during the work week - we both work typical 8-5 office jobs). He always thought I was "fighting" with him, when I just wanted to talk.
Sometimes, he would get so defensive, I thought I must have passed out and mumbled something during my "passout" moment, because I have no idea why he's acting like I'm trying to fight him. I've spoken to him about maybe having a bad history with a girlfriend, but he says that's never happened (meaning - an issue where someone bullied him or wouldn't let him speak his mind).
I also took the liberty of speaking to his sister about it, and she said he's always just dumped girlfriends and then wanted back with them over and over. I know I'm different because we're both at the "engagement" stage in life (24 and 27). His family loves me and vice versa. In fact, I know he loves me.
When he says he doesn't want a relationship, he only wants a friendship, I told him that he doesn't have any other female friends. Therefore, what he would have with me would still be a relationship without the emotional attachment. He then said, "Oh, I didn't realize that. You're kind of right." Therefore, I told him there would be no "friendship" because he was just dodging emotional attachment.
I'm so confused with his behavior. I can read a personality pretty well, and I know he loves me and wants to be with me, but what's his hold up? Is he really this afraid of moving in together/getting married - you know, the traditional fears of life? And if so, is there anything I can do for this person? When we talked recently, he kept questioning the thought of there being someone else in the world for him, and he wanted to be sure to find the right person before he got married. When to me, it seems like the signs are hitting him right in the face.
My ultimate decision was to just let him go and let him live his life (however lonely that may be) and hope that he realizes his own emotions (while, in the mean time, I hope to find someone without these issues if my ex can't get himself together in a year)
Im a little younger. not so much at the marriage stage. but I JUST went threw such a similar situation. I didn't post my whole situation. but my ex was doing the same thing. "I love you and care about you. ect" but doesn't want to be with me?!?!?! its crazy and hurts in a lot of ways! "Therefore, I told him there would be no "friendship" because he was just dodging emotional attachment." I love how you had told him that! I think that was a very smart move for you! I tried to push the issue a little much. telling my ex OMG YOU CANT LEAVE I love you! So my best pointer is do not push the issue with him. as much as you just might wanna. definitly not an idea! I promise you that! I think you should probably just let it be what it is at the moment. Give him space, time or whatever he will need to know if he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. You really don't want to get back involved when he's not sure and marry him and find things out the even harder way. At least ur 2 years into the relationship and not 10 or even more. best of luck! I hope to know more in the future of what happends.
Thank you! You were very helpful. I think it's best to give him time, so I will take your advice. I will try to keep track of you on here so I can keep you posted (because that type of stuff is just fun). I always enjoy hearing how things work out for people.
I need to start looking at it like you said, though. He needs space for one reason or another. Thank you very VERY much! - A month ago
Now, typically, I see this as an attempt to get out of a relationship without hurting the other person's feelings. I've used this line myself, so I'm...
I found out my fiance of 2 years was cheating on me with an older man from work. The affair went on for about 3 weeks and they had intercourse over a...
Body Language Secret #1There is an obvious height disadvantage (or advantage depending on your point of view) that women have. Women, on average, are about 5.5 inches shorter than men. These...
Common scenario one: A guy falls in love with a beautiful but cold-hearted woman who uses his good nature against him. After attempting to buy her affections and lavishing his attention on her so she...
I’ve never been good at being “emotional.” In fact, for most of my life I’ve tried to stay away from any sort of drama associated with feelings or confrontations with others. Not to say that I’m not...
asked 4 days ago
Site Links
About GirlsAskGuys
GirlsAskGuys Widgets
Help Us Improve!
